Gone

My world is killing me.

"Jay c'mon our flight is leaving love." Jay's mother says trying to get her sons attention. Once she gets it, she starts to walk to the gates. She has to double check that her son is behind her. "Jay cheer up, think about the great things in America. Think about the babes." She nudges him with her elbow as the wait in line.

"Mom, please just stop. You know I just want to listen to my music and ignore the world, not chasing babes." He sighs heavily and hands the women his ticket. "Hun, I can't let you live like this. You have to move on with your new life." His mother said following behind him.

Jay sat by the window on the plane. "Well sorry. I'm gonna be like this for awhile." He put on his slick black skull candies. As he went through the songs on his phone his mom just closed her eyes trying to forget the bad. Jay's phone had Screamo, Alternative, Metal and, pretty much every song with real meaning to the words.

Jay decided to listen to 'Motionless In White' {One of my favorite bands}. He played the song 'Immaculate Misconceptions'. Jay looked out the window and sighed. His whole life was being left behind. Even his best friend Alex was being left behind.

Jay already misses Alex deeply. He could tell him anything and Alex would never judge him. Now he is leaving him behind. He woulda brought him if he could have but, they both know that wouldn't have worked.

~ 1Hour later~

Jay had been trying to sleep but, every time he closed his eyes he thought of his Father and Alex. Jay had been having terrible nightmares involving his father. As he tried to clear his mind Jay messed with his tongue piercings an his snakebites.

Jay's father had let him get them but, his mother hated it. 'Jay your always chewing on those dumb things!' Was what she always said. Jay's father would usually come back with, 'We all have annoying habits.' Jay's father always backed him up.

Jay finally fell asleep. His plane ride would continue for another our though. Jay's mother woke up and noticed her sleeping son. She stayed as quiet as she could be. She took out one of her mystery novels and began to read. When there plane hit some turbulence. Jay's mother grabbed hers son arm awaking him.

"M-Mom what's happening?" Jay said outta fear and shock. He had never been on a plane before. "It's ok Jay, there just Turbulence." she reassured him. "Passengers this is your captain speaking at this time we need you to remain come." The captain spoke. "It's just some rough turbulence."

{{Honestly idk how to spell Turbulence}}

Jay grabbed the arms of his seat. His whole life replayed in his mind, he couldn't believe this was happening. "Jay, please just breath." his mother looked at him holding her seat. She looked at her son who had his eyes shut tightly, tears dripping down his pale cheeks. He didn't notice what his mother was saying. Jay was lost in his mind.

~Jays memories from last year~

He is sitting in his room turning up his music to cover his parents screaming. "I kissed the scars on her skin, I still think you beautiful,---I DON'T CARE WHAT HE WANTED! I SAID NO AND YOU WENT BEHIND MY BACK!" His mother screamed.

"HE IS OLD ENOUGH TO KNOW WHAT HE WANTS SO WHY STOP HIM, GOD SOMETIMES YOUR SO FUCKING CLUELESS TO YOUR OWN SON. YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT HE GOES THROUGH EVERYDAY, YOU DON'T LISTEN IF YOU DID YOU'D BE THERE FOR HIM EVERYDAY!!" his father screamed back at his mother twice as loud.

Jay's room was across the house but, those screams knocked down his walls every night. Jay covered his ears. He couldn't deal with this anymore. All there fights were because of him. he was a burden. He tore them apart, he didn't deserve the body he had. He didn't know what to do with his anger and sadness. All he knew is it ate him alive and he needed an escape.

Jay thought of something his bestfriend did that seemed to help. he got out one of his sharpeners he hadn't used. Jay thought to himself as he unscrewed it. The cold piece of metal fell in his hand, sending chills up his spine. The metal was just cold to the touch. The held the blade with his right hand. He slowly dug into his wrist. The blood pored. He didn't stop, he just felt like his stress was gone. His wrist was covered in blood as he stopped. He stepped into his bathroom and cleaned his wrist. He then went back into his room listening for his parents.

Jay's mom stood in the living room speaking quieter then before. "Love, if our son hurt that bad don't you think he would be dead?" his mother spoke causally like this was a normal conversation. "Did you really just say that? No, our son is strong and he has held himself together, Unlike some people." His father was obviously angry with his mother. "What do you mean by that George?" his mother had a attitude as she spoke. "I mean he isn't going to turn out like you! Someone who lives of Anti-depressants, Also Doesn't Fuck His Therapist!" His voice got louder.

"He Won't Become Week At His First Sign Of A Struggle! NO, HE WILL BE SMARTER AND STRONGER THEN, YOU COULD EVER BE!" His father screamed in his mothers face. Jay looked at his mirror. He felt weak. He felt worthless. Jay locked his door. He clenched his fist as he looked at his reflection. Jay was only wearing his black boxers and skinny jeans.

He saw his stomach, it only had skinny abs and his hip bones stuck out. Jay looked himself over upset. His knuckles turned white before he turned away facing his wall. He slammed his fist on the wall. He put his head under tears poring, he leaned back. Jay slammed his fist into the wall making a loud Bang. He did this again and again. His white walls turning red. All emotions demanding to be felt.

His parent banged on the door. "Jay let us in!" they demanded. He didn't listen though, he was lost in his mind. He started to yell at himself. "Look at yourself! So horrible, Weak, Ugly, Fat, Worthless. No one will love you No one!" he hit his wall harder. "Jay!" He blocked his door now. He turned to his mirror. "How can you love yourself?! how could anyone love you?! They can't its impossible." He broke his mirror, glass shattering and falling everywhere.

His dad broke down the door and held his son who now was on the floor hunched over crying. He rubbed his back. Jay's mother couldn't enter the room. She cried and cried that night.

~Back on the plane~

Jay's tears covered his lap. The turbulence past. His mother looked at him curious to why he was crying. He wiped his face and turned to look out his window. Jay's mom just turned over to fall asleep.

So do you guys like this story? Its going to have alot of emotions to it so just a heads up. Leave some comments if you see any mistakes pls. Well that all I gotta say Night Loves!