Redamancy

Sapience

Don't let your loyalty become your slavery. If they don't appreciate what you bring to the table, let them eat alone- Anonymous

"You, You are the root cause of everything Khushi....I wish I had never met you...I wish you never came into our lives... Everything was perfect , Di was happy and then you came and everything changed... You are the biggest mistake of my life Khushi Kumari Gupta!"

Arnav hurled those venomous words at her and then he was gone...as usual running away from the truth...

Khushi stood trembling from the rage that seemed to have taken possession of her swirling inside with a vengeance, rampaging on her feelings and emotions, killing every ounce of hope that she had nurtured throughout...Alarmed at the reactions of her body, she lifted her palm and went wide eyed as she saw her hand shaking with unhindered fury, the impact of his words had snapped something inside of her this time..

Her heartbeat was a loud hammering in her ears...Up until this moment she hadn't known she was capable of such anger.... it consumed her, effacing all the positivity in her until the only thing that remained was the simmering anger that had to be kept alive to remember what she was and who she was...Whom was she doing these things for? What was she struggling everyday for? Why?

Now that she had finally made the effort to assess her predicament, the questions in her mind didn't cease at all...

In a bid to to be the crutch for everyone around her, she had crippled herself to an extent where verbal abuses had become the norm and kind words were a surprise to her....That was what she had been reduced to, waiting for scraps of affection coming her way from everyone around her..She felt nauseous as she took stock of her situation after a very long time... and the results dismayed her terribly...

Her identity was at stake... Khushi Kumari Gupta, that was who she was..The only person who had upheld her dignity always was her father..he had been the one who was concerned for her happiness, who understood where she came from, everyone else sat on their high horse and spouted advice with their supposed moral superiority.

With her musings came the ultimate realisation...Not just Arnav, everyone else had failed her too... Yet it was his words that had finally made her face her abysmal reality.

Was she so undeserving of happiness that no one spared a thought for her as they walked all over her dignity,  trampling on her trust time and again??

His vitriolic words had always dented her pride, her sense of self respect but today those scathing remarks had been  the last straw..."You are the biggest mistake of my life Khushi Kumari Gupta!"His words ricocheted around in her mind burning up her eyes and hot angry tears streamed down her face. She didn't stop crying though, she realised she had to let it out...this catharsis would be her step to a better beginning...she took a deep breath because she was feeling light headed from the rage shooting right up her entire being....

She had always been the soother in their relationship. When a person is bitter,  they tend to align themselves with the caustic words that had started the re-evaluation in the first place...And now everything came back to her...Arnav telling her that his sister was too innocent to gauge her conniving ways, she was a gold digger, the fact that he had even for a second given himself the liberty to think that she had been Shyam's lover...And now this...She had literally saved his sister from a vile despicable man and this is what she had gotten as her prize...

Insults and recriminations..

Her breath shaky, she sat down by the poolside reminiscing and making bullet points in her head as to why she took so much from Arnav when for all purposes all he had done was to cater to his whims at every step of the way....HIS WHIMS