HE FORCED ME TO MARRY HIM (ON-GOING)

CHAPTER 45 - DEJA VU

CHAPTER 45 - DEJA VU

"Jarke open the gate! Let me see my son please! Just for the last time let me see his face please I'm begging you" pumiyok na halos ang boses ko. I can't even have the strenght to push the guard away from me who is now holding my both arms at tinulak naman ako nito papalayo sa gate that causes me to land in the sharp stone. I winced in pain. Dumaloy naman kaagad ang mga dugo ko.

Tinitigan ko lang ito habang patuloy ang pag-agos nito. The wound was deep, too deep to be stitch  again. And then a memory flash in my head, the memory when I was stabbed before in high school. I smiled about the memory when I saw how Jarke help me to get rid of his fans and look at his concerned face.

When Jarke saw me like this can I saw his concerned face again?

And then a loud roar of thunder covering the whole place together with the pouring of tears in heaven.

I raised my head in the sky savoring every tears the sky pour out.

I guess I will die without even seeing a glimpse of my boy.

Tatayo na sana ako ng mawalan ako ng balanse. I wait to be bump in a cold hard stone but instead I found lying in a soft arms. I face the man and I saw Jarke with that concerned face. Naalala ko na naman noong time na nagkita kami sa lobby sa school and the time he said those beautiful words to me.

'I will make you my wife whether you like it or not'

How funny it is to remenisce the past. And how funny it is to remember all what Jarke said to me that time. That he will make me fall in love with him. Nakakatawa kasi naging totoo lahat ang mga sinabi niya, napaibig nga niya ako ng sobra-sobra without knowing na kinakain ko na pala lahat ng sinabi ko sa kanya noon ' as if I want to be with him'.

The last thing I remember is when Jarke carried me in his arms and everything went black.

I blink my eyes 3 times and look around the room. Where am I? The door opened at niluwa dun ang rebolto ng isang tao. I tried to set pero pinigilan n'ya ako.

"You're not yet okay please take some sleep"

"Asan ako?”

“You’re in my room”

“I want to go home”

“Hindi puwede the doctor said that you're not allowed to do anything harsh baka mabinat ‘yang sugat mo”

“They stitch my arm?”

“Yes because the good guard just push you so hard. Don't worry I fired him already and also I have a cream here pangtanggal ng scars” "

I smile lightly naalala ko na naman ang nakaraan. Parang pare-pareho lang ang mga nangyayari ngayon at noon. If I can set back the time matagal ko ng ginawa 'yun para hanggang ngayon ay nakikita ko pa rin ang mga ngiti ni Jarke.

"You don't need to do that Jarke he just doing his job. The job to take me away" I lower my head realizing the truth.

"W-why are you doing this? Sana pinabayaan mo na lang ako"

"Don't think this as if I cared for you. I just did what is right"

"Jarke I-I want to see my so-" hindi na ako natapos sa pagsasalita when I saw my son running towards me.

"Mommy!" niyakap ko ng napakahigpit  ang anak ko. I really miss my son.

"Jash how are you doing?"

"I'm fine mom!" maliksing sagot ng bata. I won't cry right now I want to show my son how strong I am.

Kumunot bigla ang mukha ng anak ko."What happened to your arm mom?" I saw Jash concerned face kapareho ng mukha ng daddy niya when Jarke used to make that kind of face, napangiti ako.

"Don't mind it Jash nadulas lang si mommy this won't kill your mom" narinig kong napasinghot bigla si Jarke. Andito pa pala siya nakatingin lang sa amin.

"Dad is mom okay?" lumapit naman si Jarke sa amin at umupo sa tabi ko.

"Mom is fine my boy" at ginulo nito ang buhok.

"Dad how many times I told you not to do that in my hair!" ayan na naman ang anak ko busangot na naman ang mukha. He's now too close to his father and I'm happy to see them like this.

If it is a normal life ay aakalain kong isa kaming masayang pamilya. Pero parang ayaw talaga ng tadhana ang pasiyahin ako.

.

I thank Jarke for today because he let me have a quality time with my son hanggang sa pagtulog nito.

"I love you Jash" then I kiss my son's forehead.

I'm happy now seeing my boy and my man getting closer and both happy in each others arm. I am now contented wala na akong pagsisihan sa gagawin ko ngayon.

I storm around the house finding Jarke in the bar, drinking.

"Hi. A-ahm napatulog ko na si Jash. S-so I-I gotta get going" but before I can step away ay hinila na niya agad ang kamay ko and kiss me passionately.

We parted our lips while still leaning on each others forehead  and gasping for air.

Jarke cupped my face with his hand.

"Hash I can't do this anymore I've been forcing myself not to run after you para maranasan mo rin ang mga naranasan ko noong wala ka. I want you to realize how wrong you are when you leave me I want you to suffer! But f*ck coz everytime I saw you in pain para naring dinudurog ang puso ko! That night in Boracay I-I did not mean to feel you like a whore I just said those words because of anger. The truth is I'm very happy at that night with you in my arms again" he hug me tightly at naramdaman ko ang pagyugyog ng balikat niya. He is now crying. He cried for me? But why?

And now he faced me.

"I still love you honey I still loved you" himala na ngang hindi tumulo ang mga traydor kong luha.

I smile faintly. "Lasing ka lang Jarke better go to sleep" ayoko na kasing umasa pa baka pag-umasa ako hindi ko na kayanin ang lahat. I won't risk the life of my family. Leaving them is not my second choice as long as I keep them safe.

"Aalis na ako" pero hindi nagpatinag si Jarke at sinandal ako  sa bar stool and kissing me again with love and sanity.

The kiss become torridly unspoken until he lead me inside his room unhooking all what we have and spend the night together.

'I love you too Jarke but I need to go again this time. I'm sorry...'