VITALITY ↝ B. BARNES [1]

[10]

The screaming echoed in Elysia's ears as she glanced around the alley, another strike of lightning emitting from her palms at the realization of the damage she'd left in her wake. She collapsed to her knees, pulling the now-lifeless figure in front of her into her lap as tears began to blur her vision.

"No," she murmured, cradling the figure closer, "No no no no no,"

As the screaming grew louder around her, the scene in front of her faded, and Elysia was yanked from her slumber at the realization that the screaming hadn't been coming from her after all, but instead from the apartment next door. She leapt out of her bed, not even giving her mind a chance to process the dream as she glanced at the clock on the nightstand, reading that it was just after three in the morning. She bolted from the room, pausing outside Bucky's door to see that it was the source of the noise, causing her eyebrows to furrow together in confusion.

She held her hand up to the bio scanner next to the door, hopping up and down on the balls of her feet in anticipation while hearing the faint hum of her handprint being read much too slow for her liking. "C'mon, c'mon, c'mon," she muttered before the screen emitted a faint green glow and the door slid open to allow her access, revealing the scene before her.

Bucky lay asleep in bed, his sheets strewn everywhere and his face half-pressed against the pillow as the nightmare ran rampant in his mind. He screamed, his eyes shut tight, but Elysia could still see where his eyes moved from under his eyelids, and she rushed over to him, putting her hand on his shoulder and shaking him slightly.

"Bucky," Elysia said softly, attempting to wake the sleeping super soldier. "Bucky, wake up. Wake up!"

Bucky woke with a start, emitting a yell and sitting up quickly, his metal arm swinging forward out of reflex. Elysia jumped back, her eyes widening as she narrowly avoided being hit by the bionic arm, and Bucky's wild eyes finally found her as he looked around, dazed and confused. After a few moments, he finally calmed down, pushing his hair from his eyes with his human hand. He watched the girl in front of him with broken eyes that never quite seemed to leave hers.

"Elysia?" Bucky asked breathlessly, his eyebrows furrowing together. "What are you..?"

"It was just a nightmare," she assured him, putting a hand on his shoulder. "It's okay. You're safe."

"You shouldn't be here," he insisted, and Elysia's face fell further at the realization that he was trembling. "I don't want to hurt you."

"It's okay," she assured him, climbing onto the bed next to him and rubbing his back in an attempt to calm him down. "You're okay, Buck. You're safe, I promise."

Bucky slowly nodded after a moment, relaxing and letting himself lean against her as she comforted him. He finally caught his breath, watching as she absentmindedly ran a hand through his hair.

"How'd you know?" he asked, breaking the silence that had settled between the two of them. "That I was..."

"You were screaming," she said, not mentioning that it had pulled her out of a nightmare of her own as her fingers still ran through his long strands of hair. "I thought you were in trouble, so I came in, electricity blazing." she chuckled, extending a hand to show the faintest bit of a crackling spark that spread across her palm, though it wouldn't grow any further.

"I'm sorry I woke you," he said, and she quickly shook her head.

"Don't worry about that." she assured him. "That's fine,"

"Okay, then I'm sorry I almost hit you," he pointed out.

"I'm fine," she assured him again. "You didn't hurt me."

The two settled back into a silence for the moment as Elysia's eyes began to wander around Bucky's bedroom. It looked mostly identical to hers, with the same exact furniture and layout, though on his desk there was a picture of him and Steve from the 1940s during their time in World War II, no doubt placed there by old Stars and Stripes himself to help Bucky remember his past life as he fell into a routine at the compound.

"You shouldn't be here," he repeated after a moment, causing her to look back down at him, her eyebrows furrowing together once more. "I'm a monster." his voice was quiet, but Elysia could still hear it break at the last word.

"You're not a monster, Buck." she assured him, but he sat back up, scooting away from her onto the other side of the bed as he retreated into himself.

"Who are you kidding?" he exclaimed, shaking his head as he chuckled humorlessly, his eyes glued downward as he refused to meet her gaze. "I've killed people, Elysia. It's why I was created. The second I started to remember anything about who I was, who I was supposed to be, my brain was put back in a blender and I was stuck back in a cryogenic freezer until it was time for my next kill. You don't know half of the things I've done, and if you did you'd never willingly be anywhere near me."

Bucky continued to refuse meeting her gaze as a silence once again began to settle, the pink-haired woman across from him speechless at his confession. It was hardly news to her, of course, she'd been briefed numerous times on the Winter Soldier before the extraction mission, but she still hadn't been prepared for how the words would sound coming out of his own mouth. Elysia crossed her arms over her chest and propped them on her knees before resting her chin atop her arms. She stared back at the picture of him and Steve, seeing the ecstatic smiles written on their faces. Steve had been looking at something to the right of the camera, but Bucky was watching Steve.

Elysia couldn't help but notice in the photograph that, even in the middle of the Second World War, the young man in the picture seemed so carefree. That, together with his best friend, he could do anything, even help end the war and save the world. The man in the photograph had no idea of the horrors he was about to face, even seventy years later in a future he had no idea he'd still be around to witness.

"The, uh..." Bucky trailed off, eyes still darting around the dark room in anywhere but her direction. "The first time I was... used. It was about two years after they began their experimentation. They wanted to start off small, see if I was capable of doing the things they wanted me to do." he balled up the bedsheets in his fists as Elysia watched him, silently urging him to keep going. "It was an operative for the Russian government. Someone who caught word of the things HYDRA was doing, and wanted to shut them down."

"Bucky," she said hesitantly. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

"No, I do," he insisted. "You deserve to know the kind of man you're sitting next to. I followed the man home one night. He'd been out late, long day on the job. As soon as he got out of his car, there I was. I slammed his head into the vehicle until he was unconscious before I shot him. And when I looked up..." he trailed off with a small sniffle, wiping a tear from his eye before it had the chance to fall. "...there was his wife. And his daughter."

Elysia leaned closer to Bucky again, rubbing his back softly in an attempt to comfort him. He tensed slightly at the first contact, but didn't pull away.

"The Winter Soldier couldn't leave a witness," he spat. "So I shot both of them."

"That wasn't you." she insisted. "You didn't know what you were doing, Bucky."

"Yeah, but I'm the one who did it." he said. "Those are the only memories they ever let me keep. This is the monster you all let into your home, the one you let walk among you freely. I'm a monster, and it's only a matter of time before I snap again and hurt someone, and I really don't want it to be you."

Elysia shook her head, tears glassing over her own eyes as Bucky curled up on the bed again, and she began to softly stroke his hair again as his eyes shut tight. His metal hand reached back softly, holding onto hers as she continued to comfort him. It broke her heart to watch the man in front of her, having faced so many nightmares that he couldn't see a way back from, and there was nothing she could do to show him that she could see the good man that was still inside.

The two fell back into silence, and Elysia watched as Bucky's breathing slowly steadied out as exhaustion took over, the man gradually falling back asleep. His grip on her hand slackened, and she slowly let it go, careful not to wake him as she crawled out of the bed, adjusting the comforter so it covered the sleeping Super Soldier.

"Get some rest," she whispered. "Goodnight, Bucky."