Chapter Five

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Ada's POV

Walking to my creative writing class I thought back to what happened this morning. After I told Sarah what Mr. Urie said she told me she would talk to him again. She also said she'd go back to my parents and if they still said no, she'd just do it without their permission, since I'm 18 now and they had nothing to say about what I do with my life. Not that they cared much about me, anyway. It's their loss not mine. When I was done crying it was almost lunch time, so mom just called Ally to take me to the cafeteria. I told her the short version of what happened while we walked to the cafeteria. She gave me a comforting hug before walking to her own table. Eve seemed a bit distanced at first as if she didn't want to talk to me or something like that, but after a while she got talkative and we had a really nice conversation till Isabel showed up. I'm pretty sure that they are a couple and it bugs me more than it should. I hate it that she is with someone like Isabel, I mean even if she changed she can never change completely. She can always go back to the way she used to be. I still don't know what happened between her and Jenna, since I couldn't talk to Jenna yet, but I'm pretty sure that it wasn't good. I don't think it was just Isabel cheating on her, Jenna would have just broken it off not moved to another state. I need to talk to Jenna. I need to find out what happened. "Ada? The class is over, I think you should go to your next class." "Sorry Mrs. I must have spaced out a bit." I packed my back. "A bit? Mmmh... Ada you've been completely absent the whole class. By the way you have homework for tomorrow. Try to impress me and I'll look over your behaviour these past days" I looked at the board. 'Write about the worst day of your life' damn. I knew exactly what day that would be, but I don't want to write about it. I don't want to remember it. Not again. Not twice in one day. "Mrs. I'm sorry, I can't tell you about my worst day. That's kind of personal." "That's the whole point Ada. You should write about your deepest and darkest feelings and thoughts. If you can write about that and make me feel what you felt than you can write about anything." So apparently, I'm not a good writer, because I never get the reader to feel what I "felt" or what I want them to feel. I just got up and left the room, it's no use discussing this. The rest of my day was a blur. I don't really remember any of the classes. Practise was cancelled today so I have time to meet Jenna. The only Problem is I don't know how to find her. I walked to my locker to put away my stuff and luckily Jenna stood right in front of my locker. "Hey Jenna." "Hi Ada." She gave me a hug. "You wanna hang out today? Talk about missed time and stuff?" I asked while closing my locker. "Sure, that's exactly why I'm here." We walked out of school together. "Do you have a car?" I ask her unsure if we would drive together or separately. "I do, but I came with Isabel so it's at home." "Cool, so...You ever drove a Porsche?" "No?" I got a crazy Idea and how I usually did with Jenna I followed it through. "Then this is a first for you." I threw her my car keys. "You are driving my baby, while I'll give you directions." "Wait, wait, wait, this fucking beautiful, expensive, gorgeous, black baby is yours?" She pointed at my shiny Porsche 911 turbo right in front of her, so I just nodded my head. "OH MY GOD, I'm in love." She exclaimed while I chuckled. "I thought your more like the Lamborghini kind of girl." I got into the passenger seat and looked over at her caressing the wheel softly with her hands. "I am, don't get me wrong there is nothing like a good old Lamborghini, but this baby is fucking beautiful." She swiftly drove out of the parking lot. When we were younger Jenna and I always talked about cars. I know we were like little boys. We used to have this discussion if a Porsche or a Lamborghini was the better car but we never thought that one of us would have a car like that. Well, just my luck that Sarah is kind of rich through her private school. "So where are we going?" "Oh yeah, take a left here, then follow the road for a while and the take a right turn when I tell you to." I leaned back in my black leather seat watching my best friend driving my baby. "You still haven't told me what we are doing." She said after a while. "Oh, I thought we just grab something to eat and after that we hang out for a bit." I said. "Oh, there it is, here right and then just park in front of Danny's" She followed my instructions and we got out of the car. "Thanks for letting me drive." She handed me back my keys. "It was cool to sit in the passenger seat for once. I mean it wasn't a Lamborghini but Ally has one, maybe you can ask her if she lets you drive." "Who's Ally? One of your one-night stands?" A cold shudder ran down my back by the thought of Ally and me. "Ugh, No, that's disgusting. You'll find out later, actually you'll meet her later." I walked into Danny's Diner and Jenna followed me into a booth at the window. We switched over to what people would call small talk but only for a little while. "So... how have you been?" She asked after we both ordered a burger and coke. "If you just wanna hear the last year I'd say good, the month before that were more like hell." I said shrugging my shoulders at the last part as if it meant nothing. "No, I mean exactly that time, the worst part of your life. I'm sorry I haven't been there for you. But I want to know what I missed and I want to support you from now on." "It wasn't your fault that you haven't been there. I'm pretty sure you went through a lot of shit at that time too, so I'm sorry that I haven't been there for you." "Ada please tell me what happened after I left." I looked around and shook my head. "This is not the right place to talk about this. When we finished eating we can go to my house and I'll tell you everything. For now, please tell me what happened between you and Isabel?" She looked down at her hands. "I know I probably should have told you this way before today, but just as it is with your story this is not a good place to talk about it." "Okay, we'll talk about it later, how about some small talk for now?" She nodded her head. "You've got any girlfriends?" I asked before she could say anything. "Not since I broke up with Isabel, I guess I just lost the ability to trust a girl enough to fall in love with her. What about you? You said you've loved once, but I don't remember you having a girlfriend or anything like that?" She looked me deep in the eyes and I sighed defeated. "Yeah, I had one, Lea, she came to our school shortly after you left. She was gorgeous, intelligent, kind, funny and all that so I fell for her, pretty hard to be honest. We started dating and everything was fine till summer break, the ending wasn't the best. But since that is the beginning of the story I'm planning to tell you later, I'm not going to continue here. Ever since then I swore myself to not fall in love again." "So you plan to never fall for a girl? To just... I don't know... Fuck around your whole life?" She asked me with a raised eyebrow. "I'm pretty sure I'm not going to life like this forever, but for now..." I trailed off, she's right. I don't want this anymore. Sure, it was fun for a while but sometimes I just want someone to cuddle with, to hold in my arms. I want someone to do all this cute couple stuff with. Someone to kiss whenever I want to. Someone to whisper sweet nothings in their ear, just pretending everything will be perfect forever just as long as they'll be by your side. "You're overthinking this Ada. Just try it out again. Try to not fuck around for a bit. Try dating for real. Come on there has to be a girl that catches your interest for more than one night." There is one, I guess, but she's taken. She has a really dominant girlfriend. "I can try not fucking around, but there's no girl that catches my interest and leading them on is the last thing I want to do. So what about you? You don't have to trust them right away? You date a girl and learn to trust her. It's a progress, you trust her while you fall for her." "I don't know, there is not really a girl that is catching my interest. Looking back, I don't even see what I saw in Isabel. Sure, she's hot but her personality back then... She was a complete bitch. She changed that pretty much. I mean she's still a bitch sometimes but she treats Eve right, way better than she treated me. I told Eve to be careful with Isabel way before they started dating, but Isabel wall all sweet and understanding, supporting, she became the perfect girlfriend for Eve. But I'm still worried. I don't know if she changed forever or if it's just an act and the Isabel I used to know is going to break through again. I don't want Eve going through the same thing I had to go through. I don't want Isabel to break her heart." The waitress brought our food and we started eating right away, both trying to eat as fast as we can. As soon as we finished I paid (while Jenna complained about being able to pay herself) and left the diner to get to my house. 

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