Aĉaĵego

XIV: Powerless

"It must be a misunderstanding," Floreca said weakly. She couldn't believe it. All this time, all this loneliness, and she'd comforted herself with the reminder that Jadinda and Karesema were together again. No wonder Karesema hadn't shown up to visit her since the last time she brought medicine – knowing her, she'd insist on finding the solution before ever admitting there was a problem.

She didn't brush away the tears that came. Her aunt was brazen enough to mention that Karesema had accused the priests of only keeping Jadinda because they wanted money from a bride price. Floreca couldn't bring herself to think about whether this could be true or not. Either way, Karesema believed it. And looking at things from Karesema's vantage point, Floreca understood why it would seem like fact. If Karesema was right, then there was nothing left for Floreca to believe in. She couldn't consider that. Religion had always been the string that held together every bit of truth she'd ever known. But if Karesema was wrong, she'd committed grave blaspheme and there would be no changing her mind.

Her aunt, sitting beside her, squeezed her tight with one arm. "Don't cry, Floreca. There's still time to fix all this. Just wait for the Aĉaĵego; now that you know, you two can go to the temple together and talk some sense into them!"

"I guess that's what I'll have to do," she said. It would, hopefully, convince the priests to let Jadinda go home. But it would do nothing for Karesema's soul or her own shaken faith.

She walked with her extended family until they arrived back at the cave entrance, making small talk as if this was a normal reunion. Her cousin, Sunbrila, had been a beautiful bride. Her other cousin's wife, Agata, might have a child soon. Her uncle's sailor brother might come home and settle down. She was glad her aunt never seemed to run out of things to talk about. It left Floreca free to think of what she would say to the Aĉaĵego. She couldn't say why, but her stomach twisted when she thought about explaining the situation to it.

The Aĉaĵego came back only minutes after her family disappeared down the other side of the mountain. "Thou wast speaking with other humans," it told her as soon as it landed.

"You saw us?" Floreca asked. She hadn't seen it flying overhead.

"I heard you."

"Then you know what's happened," said Floreca.

The Aĉaĵego said nothing.

"I have to go home," said Floreca, skipping the prelude to her request she'd formulated in her head. "Poor Franjo, and Jadinda – "

"I wish for thee to stay here," it said.

"Please! It's just for a short time! They just have to see that I'm still mortal!"

"Thou art feeble," it argued. "Even with the medicine, thou canst not walk far."

"You can carry me!"

"I will not."

Why? she thought, frustrated tears forming again in her eyes. Did it want her for a permanent fixture in its cave, another statue like the ones by the entrance? But she dismissed the angry thoughts – truthfully, she'd already thought the Aĉaĵego might refuse, but there were other solutions.

"Could you go on your own, then?" she pleaded. "Go to the priests and ask them to let Jadinda go home."

"I will not."

She didn't understand. It had never been cruel before, but now its stubbornness seemed to border on cruelty. "Aĉaĵego, please," she begged. "This is very important to me. I'll never ask you anything again, but please let me help my family."

"I hate thy family!" it roared, and whipped its tail fiercely against the ground.

She froze, stunned. Scared. "What?"

"Thou carest only for thy family! Thou speakest only of thy family! Why dost thou no longer speak about me? I care not what happens to thy family!" It thrashed about, beating its wings against the top and bottom of the cave, creating a wind that felt like a storm. Eggflowers took off from the ground and flew at her.

Floreca took a step back with shaking legs. "I'm sorry if you feel like I don't care about you. We can talk about it later. But please; I have to go home and get Jadinda out of the orphanage!"

Aĉaĵego slammed its tail into a pile of rocks. "Thou mayest not leave! I want thee here with me!"

"I understand but – "

"Desirest thou not to stay here with me?"

"I do, but – "

"Then cease!" it screeched. "Art thou not my friend? Why arguest thou with me? Thou shouldst listen to me! I love thee! Thou shouldst love me too, and thou shouldst desire to be with me, so cease entreating me that thou might leave! Cease speaking with other humans! Cease – "

"You cease!" she shouted back, stomping towards it. "You're not a child, Aĉaĵego!"

It stopped mid-thrash, letting its tail fail to the floor much more quietly. She'd stunned it.

Floreca was shaking. She couldn't believe she'd yelled at an angel. Terdiino might be angry, the Aĉaĵego would be angry. It might hate her. It might punish her. Instinct told her to throw herself on the ground and apologize, undo what she'd said. But she wasn't sorry. She was also tempted to run away, but she knew she'd get nowhere. She was powerless before the Aĉaĵego...

But, at the same time, she realized, it was powerless before her. She had to power to say, No, you are not my father or my husband and you do not own me. You cannot treat me this way, or else I will not be happy, and I won't let you be happy, either.

And she thought back to what her mother had said, about if something was right or wrong. Floreca was sure that, if she dropped the argument, apologized, and stopped trying to help Jadina, she would regret it. The next day, and a year from now, and the rest of her life.

She wiped a bit of snot from her nose with her finger, raised her chin, and said, "Do you think I'll love you more when you act that way? I hate it! It scares me. Aĉaĵego, the entire time I've been here, I've shown you nothing but gratitude. I don't want to hurt you, because I do care about you! But I have to go home, because my sisters need me more than you do, and I love them, too!"

The Aĉaĵego snatched up Floreca with its tail and flung her into a pile of boulders.