I Want It, I Got It

Chaoter 21

Phil didn't know what sadness truly was until he was walking through London Heathrow airport with his tail between his legs and his bag on his shoulders, dried tears on his cheeks.

It had been the saddest goodbye he'd ever had to give someone and frankly, he used to say that was definitely when he had left his parent's home to go to Uni in Manchester.

But he's hurting and he feels like he left a bit of his heart in Los Angeles with Dan. And as he steps foot into his flat, jet lag kicking his ass, he cries harder than he allowed himself to in LAX after leaving Dan behind.

He feels a bit ashamed about it. He feels like he shouldn't be crying over leaving Dan in Los Angeles because Dan found out the night before he'll be in London in a few weeks time for a movie premiere. But as Phil thinks about the way Dan cried at the airport as he said one last goodbye in the car outside, he cries that much harder.

He's supposed to go pick up Spike from PJ but he feels lousy and like he needs a day to recuperate. But he also knows that PJ is going to want to hear about Dan and LA and he's not quite sure if he wants to speak about that yet.

When the last of his tears stop and he texts Dan to tell him he made it back okay, he takes a cool shower to wash off the stench of airplane and then gets dressed and heads out to the nearest tube station to go to PJ's.

PJ answers the door when he gets there and Spike is immediately attacking Phil's legs, trying to get his attention. Phil didn't realize how much he missed his energetic pup until he was picking him up and cuddling him against his chest as he squirmed.

"How was he?" Phil asked, running his hand through Spike's fur.

"He was great!" PJ said, opening the door wider so Phil could walk inside of his flat. "Only destroyed one slipper but I got it from Poundland so no harm done."

Phil let out a snort and let his pup back down on the floor so he could continue to sniff and run around Phil's legs.

"Do you want any food or a drink?" PJ asks, moving quickly towards the kitchen. "No offense mate but you look a bit sickly."

Phil shook his head and followed PJ to the counter where he sat on one of the stools. PJ passed him a glass of water and Phil picked it up, taking a long sip of it, not realizing how dehydrated he felt. "I'm pretty jet lagged if I'm being honest." Phil answers finally. "These time zones are kicking my ass."

"How was Dan?" PJ asks, seemingly out of the blue. Phil doesn't know why it catches him off guard but it does.

"He's fine." Phil says. "I mean, he had a few things he had to go to that I went with him to but other than that, we mostly just stayed in."

"Any saucy details?"

Phil looks up from his glass of water and sees the way PJ is smirking at him. Phil feels his face flush as he thinks about the night before―was it the night before? Time zones are confusing...where he and Dan shared such intimate moments together. His stomach tingled at the thought of having sex with Dan and how glorious it had felt. And they had sex twice. The first time and then another time later that night before they went to sleep. Phil was honestly never forget the sight of Dan coming undone above him as he rode him so well.

"I'm not getting into them."

"No?" PJ picks. "Didn't go dancing in the sheets?"

Phil blushed and hid his face as he laughed nervously. "Peej!" He cried. "I'm not talking about my sex life."

"Oh!" PJ exclaimed, poking a finger into Phil's arm. "So there IS a sex life to be spoken about! How was it? Did you both...rock each others worlds?"