Chapter XVI: Claire Knows It All

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It was amazing how many people spent their whole lives in places where they never intended to stay. -- Terry Pratchett, Hogfather

Claire with an idea was like a dog with a bone. Heaven help anyone who tried to take it away from her. She would not let go of it, no matter what anyone said. And right now she had an idea that something interesting was happening in Dani's house. She would find out what it was if it killed her.

Dani was sorely tempted, if not actually to kill her, then at least to kick her out. Unfortunately vampires were like mice. Let them into your house and it would take ages to get them out again. And unlike mice, they were likely to tear your throat out, drink your blood, and eat your organs. There was a misconception among most people that vampires only drank blood. They did. But they also ate parts of their victim. They especially liked the liver and lungs.

Perhaps Claire was a relatively benign vampire. But she was still a vampire. She was still deadly in ways most humans simply couldn't comprehend. At least she wasn't likely to be able to shapeshift yet. That was a skill vampires took a while to learn. But it was still wise to be wary of her. Very wary.

Answering her question was probably the safest course of action. Whether it was the wisest was another matter.

"Someone I once knew has been murdered," Dani said shortly. "The children and I are investigating. Against my better judgement, I might add."

Better judgement was not a concept Claire was familiar with. "Can I help?"

Oh dear God, no, Dani thought. Anything but that.

"It'll be fun!" Claire continued, jumping up and down like an excited toddler.

Imogene looked at Claire. Then she looked at Dani. Her thoughts were written all over her face: What sort of lunatic is this? It was really quite shocking hypocrisy, when Imogene had thought the exact same thing about the murder investigation.

"That would be a terrible idea," Dani said.

"How would it be?" Claire wanted to know. "I can do things you can't. I can tell how old an injury is, and I can smell poison."

Dani suppressed a groan. "Neither will be much use when poison wasn't the murder weapon, and we already know when the murder was committed. Not to mention that the body has already been buried."

"Oh." Claire stopped jumping up and down. Thank goodness. She was making Dani feel dizzy. "That's awkward."

Awkward? Awkward? What sort of lunatic was she? Dani had a few words she would use to describe the murder and investigation. Awkward was not one of them.

Claire mulled over the situation for a moment. Dani dared to hope she might lose interest in it. Alas, no. "But I could still help!"

Would this woman never leave? Dani folded her arms and gave the vampire her best disbelieving look. "How do you think you can help?"

Why don't you just go back home and stop bothering us? she wanted to add.

Again Claire started jumping up and down. Was she incapable of standing still? Dani had never met a vampire quite so... energetic. Most of them cared too much about their dignity to leap around the room like a rabbit that had just drunk an espresso. "I can read people's minds if I try very hard! If you tell me who you suspect I could tell you if they're guilty or not."

That was decidedly unsettling. Dani did not like anyone rummaging around in her mind, thank you very much. Nor did she think anyone else would like it. But it was a suggestion that might help solve this crime quickly.

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