Just Breathe

Chapter One: Addison

"He-“ my words are cut off by the strong waves. I try to speak again, but they knock me down. My lungs are burning and the water isn’t allowing me to breathe. My head feels like it’s about to explode from pressure. I give up trying to keep my eyes open. I know what’s coming next…Death.
I wake up to the sun beaming through the window.. I look at my phone 6:28. ‘another dream, wonderful.’
“Addy! Wake up” I heard Adam call from the hallway.  ‘It’s too early for this’ I pull the blanket over my head. I close my eyes and drift off to sleep..again.
“Addison Tierney, we are leaving in fifteen minutes. Are you ready?” I open my eyes and roll over. Crap. I slept too long. “Come on Addy. We’re going to be late again. Everyone else is ready.” Adam said.
“Yeah. Okay, I’m coming. Just give me a second.” I go to the bathroom to brush my teeth and get my clothes out the closet. ‘Do I really have to wear this bright pink shirt? Yes, Addison it’s for your sister and your niece.’ I hurry and get dressed and put my hair in a ponytail. I walk downstairs to the kitchen. ‘At least I’m not the only one dressed in this monstrosity’.  I see Adam and Emily talking in hushed voices. Harper is on her computer probably doing research for her English paper. Nerd. I walk over to the cabinet and grab a glass. While pouring my orange juice, I see Adam giving me that look. ‘Oh God, I know what’s coming?’ He glances at Emily and walks over to me.
“Hey Addy, you okay?” He asks. Truth be told I’m not, but he doesn’t need to know that. He already has enough problems. So I lie. “Yeah I’m fine Adam, why?” He takes a minute to answer, but it doesn’t matter. I know what he is going to say. He thinks we have telepathy because we are twins. I, on the other hand, don’t think so. “Nothing. Just a feeling.” There it is. He is always worried about me and I don’t know why. He has two other sisters and a fiancé. He wraps his arms around me and gives me a tight hug. “I’m fine, Adam.” I try to let go, but he pulls me pulls back. “I’m just saying, you know you can always talk to me.” Now I’m hugging him tighter.  This is exactly what I’ve been wanting to hear from someone. I think about telling him or anyone for that matter, but then I hear ‘It wouldn’t matter anyway’  “I love you Addy. We have been together since forever. I know something is wrong, but I’m not going to pressure you. Tell me when you are ready.” I have the bes-
“Shouldn’t we be going? We were supposed to be gone five minutes ago.” Emily says cutting off my thoughts. I like Emily and I’m happy that she is apart of the family. Lately, her and Adam have been having problems. Adam, of course, didn’t tell me though. I just see the tension between the two of them. I just hope they resolve whatever it is before the wedding. “Yeah, babe. We’re coming. Come on Harper. Get off of the computer and let’s go before Charlotte starts blowing up our phones.” Harper gets up and heads towards the door. “I don’t understand, if she wanted a baby shower, why did she do a gender reveal party? She could have put it together and I could be studying right now.” Harper says.
“Let’s just go to the shower and have fun. This is for your niece as well.” Adam responds as we walk out of the door. “And do not get me started on the hot pink shirts. This is crazy. I’m pretty sure Lily didn’t pick these out.” Lily is the baby. One more month and she will be here. I’m really excited. I helped Charlotte pick the name because she wanted to name the baby some weird name and I wasn’t having it. “Come on Harper, it’ll be fun. Please just do it. For me?” I ask. Harper has been really stressed lately with graduation slowly approaching. “Fine. It would be nice to see Char.” “Thank you.”
Harper and I are really close. It’s a bit of an age difference, but with us it doesn’t matter. Charlotte and I use to be like that, but then we got older and it didn’t last. I will always love her and have her back, I just hope she knows that. We get to the truck and Emily pulls me aside. Adam looks at us, but just gets in the driver side. “Hey can you ride shotgun?” ‘Okay that’s weird. Since when does she not want to ride up front?’ “Uh sure. Yeah. Is everything okay?” I ask, obviously looking worried. “Thanks Addy.” With that she gets in the back seat. I climb in the front not missing Adam’s frown on his face. I remind myself to him ask about this later. We leave the driveway and Adam doesn’t put on music. ‘This will be the longest fifteen minutes ever…’
Fifteen minutes later and we arrive at Jordan and Charlotte’s house. Jordan is her husband. They’ve been married for a year and decided that now was the right time for a baby. We get out and Adam goes inside leaving us behind. I look over to Emily and she says nothing. We get inside and are greeted with hugs from Charlotte and Jordan. “Hey guys, about time you got here. I missed y’all.” Harper and I really haven’t seen them in a little over a month. Harper being busy with school and I just got back from being on vacation with Scarlett. “Missed you too sis. How have you been? Is Lily okay?” “Yes. Addy. She is great. How was your vacation?” She says letting my go. “Uh, it was nice. I had fun. Scarlett didn’t want to leave though.” “Of course.” She said laughing. Scarlett is my best friend, has been for ten years. “Is that my baby I hear!” I hear my mom around the corner. “You know I’m not a baby anymore right? Hey mom.” I say giving her a hug. “I know that Addy. You’re all still my babies, no matter if you’re twenty-three or fifty.” Adam and I are twenty-three,  Charlotte is twenty-one , and Harper is seventeen. “So Addy, how was your trip? Did you meet anyone?” Mom says as we walk in the living room. ‘Here we go again. Why does she always do this?’ “It was good mommy and no. I haven’t met anyone. So how are you and daddy doing?” She takes in a deep breath. “Good actually.” That’s good. I was really worried about them. Speaking of dad, he walks through the front door apologizing for being late. “Oh hey, Addy. I missed you!” He says giving me a big bear hug. “I missed you too.” “Okay so can we get this party started, so I can go back to my research?” Harper says. “Alright, uh let’s get the shower started.” Charlotte says.
People eventually start leaving and the party dies down. Everyone had fun. Lily received a ton of diapers and wipes thanks to Jordan’s mom and dad. Mom bought her “going home” outfit. Dad got her a car seat and stroller. Adam, Harper, and I combined our money and got her a nice crib. What can we say? Only the best for our niece. Everyone else that came brought her either clothes or the essentials. We said our goodbyes to everybody who came. It was nice seeing Harper off of her computer, but after the shower, Emma brought her home. Adam and I stayed behind to help Charlotte organize the stuff. “Thanks for staying and helping me. I know Jordan will be back soon. He’s always working so hard.” Charlotte says while folding up the baby clothes. Jordan had to leave right before the shower ended because of a work emergency. “It’s no problem Char. I’m your older sister, so it’s my job. Plus I miss you.” “Yeah, I won’t deny that.” She says while letting out a small laugh. “So are you ready for Lily to be here?” I ask hanging up clothes. “God yes. I’m so ready to have my baby in my arms, but I’m scared I’ll mess up.” She admits with a frown. I walk over and pull her in my arms. “There is no way that you can mess this up. You will be wonderful at it” I mean it. Char has always loved kids. I’m so proud of her. She is going to do great. “Thanks Addison, that means a lot. I have my family helping us, so I know we’ll be okay.” We finished putting up Lily’s clothes. Char needed a break, so I let her go rest.
Adam comes in while I’m decorating the nursery. “Hey I got finished cleaning downstairs, so I thought I’d come put the crib up.” “I’m pretty sure Jordan would want to put it up.” “Yeah, well he isn’t home and my niece needs somewhere to sleep for when she comes home.” He snaps. I walk over and give him a hug. “What is going on? And don’t say nothing, because I know it is something.” I let go of him and he looks away. “You act like you have room to talk. I have been asking you for a week what’s wrong and you will not talk to me!” I look down at the floor. Talking has now turned into yelling, great. He has never raised his voice at me. I look up at him, a tear rolling down my cheek. ‘Just calm down.’ “I’m sorry, what happened to ‘tell me when you’re ready’ or did you not mean it? Like I said I’m sorry, but I am trying. I do not need you yelling at me.” The tears are really coming now. I try to stay quiet because I know Charlotte needs her rest. “Addison, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell at you. I’m so sorry.” He comes and wraps his arms around me. “I’m sorry Adam. I’m going to do better. I promise.” He let’s go and puts a hand on my shoulder. “You have nothing to be sorry about sis. I’m here for you. I’m always here for you. Em and I are having problems, but it’s okay. Don’t worry, they will resolve. And yes, I meant what I said,. I know something is wrong with you. You haven’t been the same since you came back. I know you will tell me when you are ready. I love you.” ‘It’s okay, just calm your nerves Addison. Breathe’ “Okay you go find something else to do. Let me get back to fixing up this crib, I’ll be down when I’m done.”
I go check on Charlotte and she is still sleeping. I walk downstairs to the kitchen and get me something to eat, considering I didn’t really eat today. Jordan walks in, “Hey sis, how are you feeling? You looked a little disoriented earlier.” ‘Play it cool’ “Yeah Jordan, I’m good.” “Oh okay, I’ll see you later.” He says walking away. “Wait, Jordan can I borrow your truck?” I say. He turns around and tosses me the keys. “Thanks I won’t be gone long. Can you tell Char and Adam I’ll be back? Charlotte is sleeping and Adam is helping put up the crib” I ask walking to the door. “Sure just be careful.” “Thank you.” I get in the truck and head out. I pull up to the stop sign. I’m not going home, I don’t even know where I’m going. I just needed to get out. Hopefully Adam isn’t mad at me for leaving. I just need like thirty minutes to think. Hopefully Jordan doesn’t need his truck back too soon.