The Secrets We Keep

ocean of secrets

It wasn't a surprise to Nessa when she was released from the hospital early the next morning. Her dad always got his way. He must have slipped in some extra cash as well as some information about his career in order to get Nessa's release forms signed a day earlier than what was anticipated. 

Nessa had never used crutches before. It was hard for her to remember to keep the injured foot lifted up above the ground, so the clunky boot would sometimes scrape against the pavement as she and her father made their way to his fancy car with a fancy name she didn't know. There were a few things sitting in the back seat, Nessa noticed, as her father took the metal crutches and slid them in the backseat. 

"What are the boxes for?" Nessa turned to face her father as he climbed in his seat and buckled himself in. Sam slowly turned to look at Nessa but didn't provide a real answer. He did offer, however, "Just wait." 

As Sam drove through the streets, Nessa realized she had no idea where they were going. "Um, this isn't the way home. And I'm kind of tired." 

Nessa's father sighed. "Look, Ness. What you hear in this car for the next thirty or so minutes cannot ever, and I mean ever, be repeated."  

Suddenly, Nessa wasn't sure if she wanted to know where her father was taking them. But she couldn't simply say that, either. "I promise." 

And so Sam began. He told his daughter of all the things he'd been doing in his free time for someone in a state different from their own due to the need (more like greed) for more money and for a secret the mysterious man had found out about Nessa's father, one he wasn't willing to share with her. Sam told her of the lives he'd destroyed, not because he wanted to, but because he had to. 

And lastly, Sam told Nessa they weren't going home, or at least to the home she was familiar with. They were going to a new one in Colorado in order to be closer to the man who had the power to singlehandedly crush the life that he'd built for him and his daughter. 

Suddenly, Nessa felt like she was drowning in a life she didn't know she was living in up until thirty minutes prior. She wasn't sure where things started to turn, either. Maybe it was when she went to her best friend's house just to find her there, doing things Nessa herself hadn't dared to with her boyfriend. Maybe it was when she punched her boyfriend, the one she soon declared her ex-boyfriend. It could have been when, somehow, Nessa's car had gone off the side of the road and down a steep hill. Maybe it was when the ambulance arrived, finding her before she was dead. Or when she woke up, injuries minimal for what could have happened to her. Or when she left the hospital, or when she got in the fancy car or when she asked where her dad was taking them or when he actually answered. 

It didn't matter. What mattered was that Nessa was submerged in the water of secrets and lies and that for some reason, she still didn't think that she'd been to the deepest part of the ocean her life was seemingly made of.