I'm not even gonna try, if I start to cry, don't judge me. Meaningless words warp my head tirin' me out til I can't see straight, is this normal? Am I crazy? These words drive me to the ground, run around me jeerin' and cheerin', what do ya want? Hope comes back, Hope is gone, life returns, life decides I'm not good enough... tell me. What's wrong with me? If I had the choice between you and me, it's always you, who cares who ya are? You deserve better than me, I deserve always worse. That's my purpose, let's go ahead and end this... oh wait that's still not allowed... psychotic is what I am cold and heartless they call me, ha! You should see what I do to me, I'm not too nice, not too great, not perfect like the rest of you, ok I'm sorry. Slow down, rewind. You say I'm safe is safe what you made me? I told you I'd be alright is that what you've made me? You smashed me to the ground, hauled me up sayin' I can't cry now, not allowed. Say I'm weak, call me things, all is true. I'm pathetic, I'll admit, this is sad, but no tears allowed for us, right? Isn't that the way of life, one foot in front of the other, until you are too broken to carried on, but that's not allowed, is it? This is what you made me right? This is what you want me to be, or so it seems. Pull me in push me out just make up your godd- woah wait see you'll kill me for this cause I'm not allowed to return any emotion, not allowed to feel. I'm inhuman, I'm psychotic, I'm whatever you want me to be, see me a nuisance is that all I am? I am worthless, I am unloved, I am wrong, I am finally getting it, this is exactly what I am, is it not? You say I'm fine everyday, lie to me everyday, shoot me down and tell me I'm fine then make me feel bad because all I want to do is cry... but guess what? That's not allowed. Don't do anything, don't feel, stay safe, stay happy, is that what this is? You've made your point, now give it up, go back to who ya used to be, just go back to the person I used to know, just go back and undo all of this, just come home to you. But what if I wanna do all of this, who cares what I think after all, it's all about you. Reel me in and toss me out, whisper words of encouragement and then ya leave, it's becoming predictable, becoming too easy to see, honestly, change up the way I see ya, change it up right now and see. What do I want? What do I need? The time has passed for questions, I want answers. I need ya here, ya leave, story of me life they all leave, story of my life is that I'm just too clingy, just too odd, too horrid, and too unloved. You will never love me so why should I? Nobody ever will so why should I? Why should I care? Get away from me I hate you, I love you, god, this is pointless... make it stop, make it stop, make it stop. You know you're right, ya always do. Do any of us really care, extinct by fifteen, do any of us really care? Only thirteen but I'm gone, and you don't even care. Is that all I'm worth? It seems that way, it is that way, you've always been right, go ahead whisper it in my ear one last time. See if anybody even cares. Hold me close, say nothing, say something when needed, let me cry on your shoulder, let me open up, all I ever wanted. Get out, wait come back, wait I don't mean it, I never really mean it. Who am I, what am I? Please help, don't help, I'm not your charity, it's not like you can actually care you have never actually cared. You hate and you hate and you hate... you hurt... and for me it's not allowed. What I'm doing is never allowed. Tell me to leave, tell me to die, is this what you're like? This is not what you're like, they can talk, I cannot, this is just my life. I open up, you throw me out, I'm going too fast like a race car speeding off a track. Is it normal to feel like I'm about to implode from the inside, the pain, the sorrow, the hurt, thousands of thoughts a minute dreams trailing down my face with each blink, running away from me, Hope is losing itself. Hope come back, life come back, you must come back. No? Fine, do you want me to follow your advice for once?
