You Could Be Mine ➷ Slaxl

Cʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ Sᴇᴠᴇɴ

"Slash, we need to—" I paused.

Hair as golden as danburite crystals, and eyes resembling the greenest of leaves attached to a body about a hundred feet tall was instantly brought into my view. Cotton-candy lips curve into an insightful smirk as his slender fingers gesture for me to enter.

"Slash isn't here, but I can assume why you wanted to talk to him."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean, Duff?" I glower at the man, not daring to lift my head to capture his complete appearance. Damn him for being too tall!

"I could only assume something happened between the two of you," he says, guiding me to the kitchen and pulling out a fresh beer from the fridge. He reaches it out to me with an amorous smile, and I willingly accept the offer. "He came home blushing wildly, yet refused to tell me anything."

Guilt quickly succumbs me, yet I shake it away before instantly downing about half of the beer.

"He'll be back in a while.. assuming that you need to talk to him," Duff informed, pulling out his own beer and perching himself on their knocked-up maroon couch. Originally, Duff and Steven shared this grotesque, molding apartment together, and somewhere within the frustrating months after the drummer and Izzy's departure, Slash had taken his place.

I could tell that it didn't feel the same to Duff, in spite of how close him and Slash truly were. Steven was his best friend, and they did absolutely everything together. After being caught up in my own grief with Izzy, I failed to recognize that perhaps Duff was stuck in the same distraught stage of remorse.

"How have you been holding up?" I ask, gazing at the blond stupidly. Duff raised an eyebrow, curious as to what I could've possibly meant out of the blue. "Y'know.. with Steven being gone."

His expression grows solemn.

"It's not the same anymore, Axl," he breathes out, patting down on the maroon couch with a glint of nostalgia in his eyes. "I miss him.. I miss that fuckin' nipper a lot."

I chuckle softly, recalling just how childish and go-lucky Steven truly was.

"He was the light of the band, wasn't he? Surprisingly enough, he hopped off the wagon with a bunch of douchebags."

"Just a bundle of joy," Duff comments, smiling with tears brimming in his eyes as he remembered Steven vividly. "I loved him.. so much."

My expression grew blank.

What?
Duff loved Steven?
How could I have been so blind?
We were stuck in the same boat, and I allowed him to suffer this grief alone!

God, you're so fucking selfish, Axl!

Duff quickly lowers his head and allows his golden locks to hide away his saddened appearance. I could tell that beneath the mane of hair covering his face, the tears he had wished to conceal were streaming down his cheeks.

"You.. You loved him?" The words felt foreign on my tongue, as if speaking of love was such an obscure topic, despite how much I thought of it. Duff glided his tongue along his bottom lip, a gesture of deep thinking as he attempted to comprehend the oddness of this situation.

"Didn't think that would ever be revealed, eh?" He chortles, but there's a deep sadness in his tone, as if he was telling a tale with an anticipated, unhappy ending. "I was in love with him, and he jumped at the opportunity to leave once Izzy made the request." He pauses for a moment and looks up at me, exposing his tear-stained face. "You would understand that, right?"

My eyes widen.
Did he know?

"You mean.."

"Yes, I knew about you and Izzy.. everyone knew. It was sort of inevitable, and the realization came right as the band started," Duff explained, shaking his head as he bit down on his lip. "I'm sorry, I know you don't want to talk about it."

"No, please!" I jump up, causing him to flinch a little, yet instantly regain his cool as he sheepishly fiddled with the condensation drizzling down his bottle of beer. Perhaps what urged me to continue the conversation was realizing that someone understood, and if he didn't get it now, then he would get it eventually. I needed him to. "You can talk to me, Duff. I mean it."

My reassurance still left him reluctant, however he nodded his head slowly and beckoned me to sit back down.

And so we talked.
We discussed the early days of Guns 'N Roses, from the day Duff became infatuated with Steven, to the days where the drummer finally gave in. We wandered amongst the controversy we endured as indifferent band mates towards our release of 'Appetite for Destruction', and we went over the history amongst Izzy and I's complicated, beneficial friendship.

In that hour, I discovered a new facet to Duff McKagan, the man I swore I was on my last leg with. I saw him in a new light, or perhaps it was the same light that swallowed us, and I began to understand the complexity of his introverted heart. We were also different, yet so alike in ways only we could understand, and perhaps Izzy and Steven found themselves in the same boat on the opposite side of this lovesick sea.

This was our coast, and together, we were enduring the ruthless tides and gusty winds amongst our desperation to understand love, knowing well that the other side was replenished with alleviation.
If only we could both understand that peace.

Duff is tearing up again, but this time, I respond to his wistfulness. Cautiously, I brush away bright yellow strands of hair, and pull him into my chest. Instantly, he caves, releasing despairing sobs that only pricked tears in my own eyes.

He didn't deserve this.
Duff did not deserve this.

We remain like that for a bit, confiding to one another in an intimate silence. I held the tall man within my arms, vying to comfort him whilst vying for comfort.

And suddenly, the front door opens.

"What the hell is going on here?"

Duff and I jump at the abruptness of Slash's arrival, and my cheeks flush a dark shade of red as I scratch my neck, unsure of how to approach this situation.

"I came here to talk to you—"

"And you magically ended up cuddling Duff?"

"Let me finish!"

"What more is there to say? You kicked me out last night just when I thought you were opening up to me!"

Duff's eyes widen in realization, and he quickly wiped away his tears and scampered away, yet not before Slash catches a glimpse of his solemn expression.

"What did you do? Did you kick him out of the band like you predicted you would to me?" Slash interrogates, and I rub the bridge of my nose in blatant frustration.

"Saul, please—"

"Why even bother coming here? What the fuck do you want from me—"

"Shut the hell up!" I demand, my voice raising with aggravation. Instantly, Slash's lips are sealed shut and his eyes peer at me in surprise. But that didn't stop me.

"Can't you fucking see I'm trying to cope with the way things are now? I came here for you— to apologize! I'm sorry I kicked you out, and I'm sorry that I can't offer whatever the fuck it is you expect from me, but it's because I—" And then I pause, closing my eyes and lowering my voice as I muster the words I never thought I could.

And once they leave my mouth, his face grows pale, and my heart sinks into my stomach.

"It's because I fucking love you."

•.•.•

A/N

Oh shit-