Song: Pull Me Under by ElysianSoul
"NO!! I'm FINE, STOP!!" Eric screamed as his friends pulled him away from the bathroom and into the kitchen.
"Cartman this isn't okay! You need food in you to survive!" Kyle said, pulling him.
"You DON'T know what this FEELS LIKE!!" Eric was sobbing.
They all just sat him down now and hugged him. They had no idea that Eric was doing this to himself, and how much he had been struggling. They always just assumed that he was fine. Eric acted fine, at least. How could they be so oblivious?
The three all tried to calm Eric down. But his tears just kept coming and coming as if his eyes were a waterfall. He felt so scared that he was shaking, so weak that he couldn't stand, and so humiliated that he couldn't even look at them.
It was a while before Eric actually calmed down. It was starting to even get late, but none of them were giving up on him.
"Cartman... Can you please eat something without uh..." Kyle sighed. "Getting rid of it...?" Eric just shrugged weakly in response.
"I'll go get you something." Kenny said, going to the refrigerator.
"You don't have to eat it immediately, but just, when you're feeling a little better." Stan said, rubbing Eric's back.
This wasn't much of a problem for Eric. He could just get rid of it once they left, which had to happen around at least 11, as that'd be when his mom came home. So he became calm fairly easily. The only problem was that he would have to try harder to hide this.
Kenny then came back with some pizza and juice. He set the plate on Eric's lap and handed the juice to him.
"Thanks..." He drank some of it, trying to get the metallic yet acidic taste out of his mouth.
"How long have you been doing this?" Stan asked.
"Since... God, 6th grade I think?"
"Holy shit dude..." Kyle muttered.
They all realized that this was when he had started losing some weight, and had better hygiene. How could they be so stupid? How wasn't this obvious to them in the first place? Was part of the reason why he started because they constantly called him fat, and a pig? Could that've been easily altered if they hadn't done this?
"I'm sorry, dude..." Kyle said slowly.
"I am too." Stan said.
"I'm sorry."
Eric was confused. "Why...?"
"Well we should've known... It all seems so obvious now... I don't know how we didn't catch on before." Stan sighed and looked down.
"Whatever." Eric mumbled, taking a bite of pizza.
The three had only stayed for another 2 hours, until around 11 before Liane got home. Eric was a bit panicked, since it had been a while since he ate. He knew he had to just quickly go and get rid of it. And, he did successfully. The weight was lifted off his shoulders once he knew he couldn't throw up anything but stomach acid anymore.
Eric smiled deliriously and flushed the toilet. He stood up shakily, dizzy and weak. But despite this, he felt very relieved. He just went over to the sink and brushed his teeth, trying to get rid of the scent the best he could.
Maybe continuing to hide this wasn't going to be so hard after all.
The next day at school, although Eric felt like shit, didn't show any of this. He couldn't let anyone else know how much pain he was in. So, he just pretended like everything was fine again. But, the other three, instead of actually believing this, asked if he was actually okay.
Eric was sitting at the lunch table, stuffing his face with tacos. Kyle and Kenny all sat at the table with him.
"Hey dude, you okay after last night?" Kyle asked, looking up at him.
"Yep, everything's good." Eric replied, his mouth full.
"Eww, Cartman... And uh, you didn't do that to yourself again, did you?" Kyle asked.
"No. I... Really think that going through that with you guys helped me realize that what I was doing wasn't okay." Eric lied, looking up finally.
"Wow, really...?"
"Yeah. Thanks you guys."
"No problem... You're our friend, you can tell us anything."
Kenny had a hard time believing all of this. If he'd been doing this to himself for 5 years now, it wouldn't be that easy to get over. There was no way. Maybe Kyle was dumb enough to believe him, of maybe they just weren't going to bring it up now, since they were in a public setting in the first place. But if had to be brought up sooner or later. He knew that Eric couldn't just defeat bulimia that easily.
About 15 minutes passed, when they were all done eating, and sat in the hallway. Eric stood up. "I'll be back."
"You're not going to throw up again, are you?" Kyle asked, looking up at him.
"No, I just have to take a shit."
"Are you sure...?"
"Kyle, would you like me to bring back a sample of my diarrhea for proof?"
Kyle scrunched up nose. "No, dude!"
"Yeah, that's what I thought, fuckin' jew."
With that, Eric went to the men's bathroom. Of course, that was a lie. He ate too much again, so he had to just get rid of it quickly. He went into the last stall down. He noticed the only other two were both closed. The one in the middle was out of order, and had been for months. Though this bathroom was small, nobody really came into it, so he could easily get away with it.
Eric locked the stall door and dropped down his bag behind him. He dropped down to his knees right in front of the toilet. He took a deep breath, and leaned over it. He shoved his fingers down his throat, ignoring the burning and rawness of his knuckles from the friction between his hand and teeth. He started to wiggle his fingers in his throat, making him gag. He gagged a few times and was finally relieved with the acidic sensation of the vomit coming up his throat and leaving his mouth. He started to tear up a bit at the burning, but kept going until there was nothing left to get rid of but stomach acid.
Unknown to Eric, somebody else was in the stall two doors away. And this person was one of his close friends; Stan Marsh just heard Eric making himself throw up. Slowly, he looked in the cracks beneath the stall, and was familiar with the body type, and the bit of the red coat he could see. He paused. Stan was drunk, not stupid. It was during lunch, and Eric was getting rid of his.
Stan stood up, wobbling a bit from the two bottles of beer he had just drunk. He opened the stall door, which Eric heard, making him pause and start to panic. He pulled his fingers out of his mouth and sat there, frozen. He was so terrified that he started to hold his breath. Stan now made his way in front of the stall.
"Cartman? Is that you?" Stan slurred his words a bit. He started to feel more uneasy as Eric stayed silent.
"Dude, please open the door..."
Slowly, Eric reached up and unlocked the door, still sitting in his knees. He looked horrified and avoided eye contact. Stan saw all of the vomit and stomach acid in the toilet.
"Holy shit, Cartman..." Stan muttered, kneeling down to his level. Eric looked down, more tears steaming down his red face.
"Don't... Please don't tell them I did this..." Eric was shaking.
"I have to tell them... Or I have to tell someone, because this isn't okay... You could die, Cartman."
"So could you if you keep drinking like that." Eric replied, trying to change the topic.
"No, seriously... We need to tell your mom, or someone..." Stan sighed. Eric looked down and started rambling.
"I wish I was a kid... And didn't care about my weight like I do now... I wish I could just stop eating... But I guess this is a solution too..." Eric started crying his eyes out again, making them burn. It was the second day in a row that he cried this hard in front of his friends.
Stan leaned forward and hugged him tightly, feeling a lot of sympathy for him. He partially understood where Eric was coming from, with wishing to be a kid again and all. He rubbed his back as Eric hugged back tightly, sobbing.
This had lasted for at least 10 minutes, when Eric finally started to calm down. He took deep breaths and slowly pulled away. He hid his face in humiliation.
"It's okay Cartman... I can try to get you the help you need..."
"What about you...?"
"Don't worry about me. I'll be fine."
Stan made plans after school to speak with Eric and Liane with the guys to let her know what's been going on with him. Something had to be done, so he let Kyle and Kenny know to drop by Eric's after school.
A few periods later, it was P.E., Eric's nightmare. He hated this class. Well, how couldn't he? He had a very weak heart and lungs, getting tired out very easily. He was made fun of for this, but instead of showing that he cared, he just bullied them back and yelled at them. But, this time, the coach was starting to push Eric harder than he should have.
"Come on Eric, you still have two more laps to go!" The P.E. teacher yelled at him as Eric's heart raced and he panted, barely running past him.
"Co-coa-coach I ca-"
"Come on, Porky!" One person yelled as he ran past.
"Eric, keep going, you already are on the road to failing this class." The coach said to him. Some of the others heard this and snickered at this.
"B-but I-"
"Keep going, Eric Cartman!"
Eric tried to keep on running, starting to tear up a bit. His heart was hurting like hell, along with between his shoulder blades, arms, jaw, overall chest, and abdomen. He was tired, dizzy, and his whole body was sweating despite the coolness in the air. His whole body felt like it was clenching itself.
After only a few seconds, Eric felt something... odd. He felt like he was dying, and his heart was leaving his body. He fell down to his knees and clenched his chest, panting and gagging. He was having a heart attack.
Some people passing by stopped, looking over at him. The ones with enough sympathy had ran over to the coach to let him know what was going on.
Eric's vision started going dark. He looked up slowly. He saw two people in a light: Token, Butters, Tweek, Craig. But... Why was he seeing them all? They were dead. Unless, he was...
"Come on Eric, join us. It's not so bad after all." Craig said to him.
"Yeah... We know that you'll be able to accept us once we're all up in heaven..." Tweek said, smiling slightly.
Token and Butters were smiling at him as well, despite all of the bad things he's said and done to them.
Slowly and hesitantly, Eric got back up on his feet. His body, however, went completely limp.
Eric Cartman's soul was finally set free from the toxicity of his own mind.
"Can Stan Marsh, Kyle Broflovski, and Kenny McCormick all please head down to the principle's office?"
The three all stood up slowly, concerned. The three, who were all in the same class, were confused. They hadn't done anything wrong, had they? What would they even be in trouble for? And... If those three all had to go down, why wasn't Eric, too? And, now that they thought about it, why didn't they see Eric in the hallway earlier?
Once they got to the office, the three saw their school counselor, the principal, and the vice principal. They all sat in a row, and had a box of tissues on the desk. They all slowly started to explained what had happened in that fucking P.E. class, and finally told them that Eric was dead. Gone for good. Their friend since elementary school was dead because of the eating disorder that took them 5 years to catch onto, and from being pushed way beyond his limits.
Of course, none of them knew that Eric's bulimia was a high contribution to his death, since nobody but them knew about it. But, none of them had the guts to tell anyone about it.
The three were all sent home early with their parents. They were all silent, as well as angry, miserable, and guilty. Maybe if they had just told someone earlier, this wouldn't have happened in the first place.
They all showed up at the funeral. Nobody dared to tell anyone else about Eric's eating disorder.
Because none of them.
Had.
The guts.
