Julianne Deluna goes through many obstacles during her freshman year of high school; heartbreak, life, new love, stress, and wonders if she'll ever be the same.
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Dear Ruby,
I'm writing this letter to apologize to you for everything. I'm deeply sorry for betraying your trust and hurting your feelings. I didn't think before I acted this summer, I was irresponsible and reckless. You deserve the truth and so much more. I denied letting Cesar "smash" but that was a lie. Cesar and I began hooking up during the summer, we didn't last longer than a few months. We weren't on real speaking terms when he confessed to you. I was mortified, I didn't want you to find out that way. I didn't plan on telling you after Cesar and I went our separate ways. I didn't want to hurt you, I felt horrible for the pain I knew I would cause. I deserved that guilt. But our friendship was flourishing again, and I was so happy to be close again. I was going to keep this betrayal a secret, I am so sorry for lying to you. It wasn't a plan I wanted to keep. But I had no choice when I discovered I was pregnant. My entire world turned upside down. I was lying to everyone, even Monse, and my own mami. We decided to pursue a relationship in secret. We wanted to make things work for our family. For our daughter. I was so confused with my feelings at the time and it clouded my judgment. It caused me to learn a lot of tough lessons. I never wanted to hurt you. Keeping my pregnancy a secret and the father's identity a secret was to protect your feelings. Maybe even to protect me from feeling more guilt, which was selfish. I used many of the issues we were dealing with to avoid telling you the truth. I never did any of these things to hurt you, Ruby. I'm so sorry for everything. I hope one day you can forgive me but I understand if you can't. However you feel towards me and my situation is 100% justified. I messed up in many different ways and I don't deserve to have you in my life. But you deserve so much more. I love you and I'll always cherish our friendship. You don't have to write me back or speak to me about this. I would love if we could with Cesar.... He wants to apologize to you as well and I can't speak for him. We deserve nothing from you but we want to apologize.
I'm sorry,
- Julianne
Ruby glanced down at the letter, tears cascading down his cheeks. He hated everything about this. Julianne and Cesar were dear to his heart, they were apart of the crew. Ruby deep down knew of Cesar's feelings towards Julianne, but having everything confirmed stung. He ran his hands through his hair before rereading the letter once more. Ruby has no idea where the crew would go from here. Julianne and Cesar hurt him deeply, Julianne did apologize but words can only do so much. Cesar had yet to say anything to Ruby. What would they speak about together?
Ruby's mind was whirling, he couldn't keep up with all of the thoughts in his head. His feelings were all over the place. Ruby wasn't sure what he thought of Julianne's letter or apology. He needed time to process her words. But he did want an explanation from both sides about the secrecy and betrayal. Ruby's curiosity is what pursued him to sit down with Julianne and Cesar.
Ruby to Cesar and Julianne: I got your letter. I'm ready to talk.
Julianne: We're ready to talk whenever you're ready, Ruby.
Cesar: Whenever you can
Ruby: I'm on my way over now
Grabbing the letter from beside him, Ruby exited his house and made his way to Julianne's. His heart was racing. He didn't know if this was a good idea. Ruby had considered turning back and heading home a few times. But his internal battle was now over, he was at Julianne's front door. Ruby glanced at the sidewalk behind him once more before ringing the doorbell. Ruby's hands began to sweat and he felt sick. But he ignored his gut feeling, and rang the doorbell anyways.
