The Rules for Existing

Connie

If it wasn't for Oskar Goldschmidt, DLC would be the worst city ever.

Of course, the city is not called DLC. It's what Oskar calls it.

Oskar is the first person who caught my eye at Trinity High School. He was looking at me and Susan trying hard not to be noticed, but we noticed him. He was looking at us like we were actually cool, and not like we were crazy or something.

Susan and I sat at his table. We share these moments where it's like our minds are connected. We're very close.

I soon started looking at the cute boy with wavy auburn hair. For some reason, he was oddly familiar.

"My name is Oskar," he introduced himself. "You're the Parker twins, aren't you?"

"My name is Susan," Susan took the opportunity to introduce herself. "And their name," she gestured towards me, "is Connie."

I nodded. I didn't know if I was ready to let my new acquaintance know I was gender fluid. I usually don't like to attract attention to myself, and declaring that you use neutral pronouns in a small, backwards town is one sure way to do it. Oskar looked completely cool with it, which is something I didn't expect.

"So, where did you live before?"

"Somewhere better than this," I joked.

He laughed. "You're going to get used to it," he said, which accidentally sounded like a threat.

Though he told us 'welcome back', I didn't deny nor confirm that Susan and I had already lived here, for a short period of time, and that, even though I barely remember what had happened the first time, DLC didn't seem like something that would grow on you. More like a poisonous plant that would sink its roots in you and take you under the ground.

Today, in class, the History teacher started off by dividing us in couples for a project. She had selected ten historical figures, and the students would have to divide in groups and choose who they were working on. Oskar seemed strangely excited, and that's when he confided that in a dull school like Trinity High School, even group projects were a nice distraction from the 'ennui' of it all. At least, that's how he called it.

Susan and I wanted to be grouped together, not because we didn't want to interact with the others, but because we work well in a pair. We knew we could get a good grade. But the teacher declined the idea.

"Well, then," I suddenly declared, taken by a brilliant inspiration. "Anyone who groups with me has to work on Alexander the Great, and we will also include his general Hephaestion."

Most of the students of the school seemed either heterosexual or closeted. I wanted to work on those two figures and write in my essay that they were lovers. It was important to me, as I'd always been sexually and romantically interested in all genders.

I've never met anyone who's non binary like me, but when it comes to binary genders, I have a different taste in boys and girls.

I don't do it on purpose, but I seem to click with the girls who are tough, maybe too much, and could look kind of scary at first glance because they have a bad temper. I know it's not kind to say, because maybe they don't have a temper at all. Maybe I just happen to annoy them.

When it comes to boys, though, nothing can stop me from falling in love with the Superman type. You know, kind of like the ones you would say are too much for anybody and so they're always alone. Even in a crowd, they stand out.

They are just basically too good to be true. They're all too good for me.

Here, I said it. See, I'm not so confident. Or, as I always say, I'm pretty confident about myself. I'm sure that I suck as a human being, but at least I pull it off pretty well.