The Silent One

{Seven}

*The next morning*

'You do realize I'm dead serious about leaving, right?'

'You do realize I'm dead serious about coming, right?'

A part of me is relieved. It'll be nice to have Kevin along for the ride, for protection of course. But then again, I'm not entirely sure I still want him to come.

'Well, I do now. I think. But... I'm leaving today.'

I can almost see the look on his face without even glancing at him. Is it odd that I already know Kevin that well?

'Today? As in... today? Have you thought this through?'

'Of course I've thought this through. Why, are you planning on backing down?'

'Pshh. Heck no. I just want to make sure you know what your doing. I don't want you to get hurt. Or me, of course.'

I roll my eyes before answering. It's our free period, so we don't have to be on the look-out for teachers. Which is good.

'I know what I'm doing. Trust me. And I don't plan on either of us getting hurt. It's them that'll be getting hurt, if I can help it.'

'I do trust you. But wait... who's them?'

Oh no. I wrote without thinking. Should I tell him? Can I tell him? Doesn't he deserve to know?

With shaking fingers, I write: 'My dad... and the gang he was in. The gang he joined when I was 12.'

'A gang? Angie, that's serious... what happened? And are you sure you want to mess with this?'

Am I sure? Do I really want to go look for the guy that...

No. I can't think about that. Of course I'm sure. I have to do this.

'Of course I'm sure. I know what I'm getting myself into. And I know I'm being kind of selfish, wanting you to come with me. This is a huge risk, and someone could get hurt. My past... isn't very pretty.'

'So? Angie, you're my friend. And I plan on sticking with you. Whether you want me, or not. I'm going with you. End of story. Now tell me exactly how this is gonna work.'

I'm asking a lot of him, and I know I am. And yet, he still wants to help. That, amazes me. I guess Kevin really is different.

'Thank you. So much. For everything. For even "talking" to me in the first place. No one else even tried... But anyways, I've got my bags in my car. And.. I want to leave as soon as I can. I feel like.. the longer I stay, the worse this'll get. I feel like I'm being watched, constantly.'

'Well that's not good... Look, if we go by my house, I can go whenever you want. I just have to grab some clothes or something.'

'Okay. Just wait for me by my locker after school. ...are you sure about wanting to come?'

Maybe I sound completely bipolar, but I need to know. This whole thing is crazy, but I don't want to run and jump off of a cliff or something. If I'm about to jump off a cliff, I'd like to know.

'Yes Angie. I'm sure. I'll meet you by your locker.'

'..Okay.'

So I guess the plan is set.

xxx

Kevin meets me by my locker and we walk to my car. Heart racing, I toss my bag into the backseat and climb into the driver's seat. He slides into the passenger seat and I turn the key in the ignition. And then we're on our way.

I can't believe I'm doing this... Somehow, I feel like a little kid that's planning on running away from home. The adrenaline makes me grin. Finally, I'm free.

I just never planned on having someone else with me.

But whatever.

If I'm being honest with myself, I only have the faintest idea of where I'm going from here. I know I plan on going back to my hometown, but who knows what I'll do once I get there? What if I get to my old house and no one's there and I just stand there until I fall apart? What would I do after that?

The worry's eating at me, and if I had been alone I know I wouldn't have been able to breathe right. But Kevin's here. I'm reminded of that when he touches my arm. I glance over at him and he says, "Turn up here, and then just keep going." I nod.

I turn into the woods as the same time Kevin turns on the radio. Some pop song comes on and he groans. "Where's my iPod?" he mumbles, digging through his pocket.

Kevin pulls out his iPod right as I pull into the gravel driveway that I assume is his. He plugs it into my car, shuffles to a random song, and turns up the volume before saying, "Wait here." and dashing up to his house. I'm frozen in my seat, knuckles turning white from gripping my steering wheel so hard. My whole body is tense. It's not good for me to be alone right now. For one, I feel like someone's watching me. I'm scared to turn around, because I'm afraid of what I might see.

It feels like I'm frozen... The cold seeps through me like a poison.

But then there's the music, blasting from my stereo. Even though I don't recognize the song, the loud music soothes me. Music has always been my escape. At least I have that.

But I'm still trembling when Kevin comes back with a black duffel bag over his shoulder. My hands haven't moved from the steering wheel. He takes one look at me, raises an eyebrow, and then focuses his attention on his music when I shake my head. Once he throws his bag into the backseat and climbs in, I step on the gas and then panic when the car jerks forward. My foot stomps on the brakes and we both jolt in our seats. My seat belt catches my shoulder blade and I wince. Eyes wide and watering, I look over at Kevin to make sure he's okay. Both of us are breathing fast.

"Are you okay?" he asks. I nod, and then look at my hands. They're shaking now, still white and still clutching the steering wheel. I have to take a few deep breaths before I get up the courage to press on the gas again. Kevin relaxes as I drive away, slowly. But I don't.

This is scaring me beyond belief.

But I have to keep going. Something's pushing me forward. Maybe it's Kevin. Maybe it's the want, the need, to do this, for Steven. It's almost as if I won't know what to do with myself if I can't do this. And it's true. What else do I have to live for, besides something I can't control?

And so we drive. And slowly, very slowly, I relax. Maybe this won't be too hard, even if I don't know what I'm doing. At all. Maybe it won't be that hard.

Or maybe it will.

- Alyssa <3