you swim through all four chambers of my heart
repetitively
from the shallow top
to the mariana depths
churning like the currents
hating to love you to
hating everything you do
that makes me forget my despair
the list of things i force myself to hate about you
like your obliviousness to your confusing ways
like how you grab my shoulder tenderly
stare into my eyes
and smile
like you'll never love me
or maybe you will
maybe you won't
maybe you will
maybe you won't
maybe
maybe
maybe
i'm overthinking again
overdosed on stimulants
dependency
i try to live without you
but we are too acquainted
too far from strangers to be
anything but
drug and its addict
i need a clean system
my blood is tainted
by the very thing that pumps it
consuming itself
