Subhadra speaks

Queen's Maid

"He is my youngest son, so I indulged him a bit more than others. Despite that, he was always very responsible, and very obedient, right from childhood. Even as a boy, he always put his family above himself." The Queen Mother Kunti lowered her voice, though her maids, and my sole maid were at the far end of her sprawling room. "I don't usually speak about this, but you must know. When he was born, a divine voice proclaimed that this son of mine would be equal to Kartavirya Arjuna in valor, to Siva in prowess, and to Indra in invincibility. He will retrieve the fortunes of his clan, and maintain the prosperity of his race." She was silent for a while, her face remote. I studied the noble line of her jaw, and the deep, wide-set eyes that were my grandmother's. She exuded a matronly calmness that soothed my nerves, and made me reluctant at the thought of leaving her side. "Maybe if I didn't have to raise him alone, I would not have burdened him so. When he was gone these past twelve years, I was afraid that I had pushed him too much."
"You worry yourself unduly, Mother."
She raised her eyebrows. "Krishna too, used the exact same words, I believe."
That made me wonder. It had been a little over two hours since we had arrived. Had the Queen Mother warmed up so quickly to her other daughters-in-law, or was I special because I was from her home, and her family, from whom she had been estranged for years?

I jumped when the door opened, and Arjuna entered. I needn't have feared, for he was alone. He sat down by his mother, and merely shook his head.

Most women I knew strived to welcome their husband's other wives with grace. It was only after  the formalities were over, and life returned to normal, that they exhibited their dislike towards the other woman. But the Queen of Indraprastha seemed to have no qualms in directly exhibiting her displeasure for the world to see. This, then, was a woman who wore her heart on her sleeve. I hugged myself. Despite Arjuna winning Draupadi's hand at the swayamvara, despite her choosing him, they had stayed apart for twelve years, while other men had claimed her, and other women had claimed him. Arjuna couldn't even resent the other men for they were his own brothers. But Draupadi could. Why should she be deprived of this opportunity?
I knelt by Arjuna's side, and took his stiff hands in my own. "Perhaps I can help."
He didn't reply, but held my hands, and looked at me for so long that I flushed, for his mother was right next to us.
"Meet her." He said, divesting my hands of their bangles and rings. "But without all this finery. Tell her you wish to serve her." He removed my hair ornament. "Will you?"
I understood at once. Men had inventive ways of assuaging their women's insecurities. But for Arjuna and Draupadi, no ordinary individuals, could mere words be enough? Instead, he made me his symbolic message, his assurance to her that she would always come first, though she was the new wife, not me. He had been my husband first, I was the one giving him up.
"I will discard my silk and dress as a maid." I declared, desperate to snuff out the jealous voice that ranted in my head.
"But....." Kunti's face was a mixture of confusion and worry.
"I have disguised myself as a maid once." I told her, my words stumbling over one another. "If I told you at whose request it was, you would not believe me. I was successful then. Let us hope I am successful this time too."

It was a while before Draupadi opened the door. I stared at her, stunned by her unearthly beauty that had no parallel at least in this plane of existence. The bards had not exaggerated her loveliness. They had hardly done justice to it.
"You must be the Satvata princess." She prompted, and I recovered my tongue.
"Greetings to the queen of Indraprastha." I bowed my head. "I am here to serve you. Please, accept me as your maid."
Her lips curled as she took in my attire. "Was this Arjuna's idea, to send you here thus?"
Fortunately, my courage returned then, and I drew myself up.  "I am sorry." I said in a low voice. "I am truly sorry for all the hurt and distress I have caused you. Please forgive me."
"There is nothing to forgive." She gestured me inside and I entered her room. "I do not have any grievance with you. You have done nothing wrong."
"Neither has Arjuna." I met her clear, direct gaze. "What was asked of him was not easy. It was not an easy sacrifice to make. Neither for him, nor for you."
Draupadi was silent for a long moment, her eyes on me, her glance unnervingly intent. "Yet he has not learnt from his mistake. He endeavours to sacrifice again, for the sake of his family."  Her lips curled again. "And this time, I have joined the others."
I heard a tinge of bitterness in her voice, but I was not sure what she meant.
"At least, I am the queen. And I wouldn't give that up. So you are right. I mustn't blame him." She shrugged, and held her hand out to me. I put my hand in hers, feeling awkward. I was not sure if I spotted a glimmer of jealousy in the eyes that beheld me. "I do not recall the last time someone put me to shame thus. You truly are Krishna's sister." She raised her chin. "And from now on, you are mine too. Welcome to your new home and your new family, dear Subhadra."