Imagine If

Imagine...

Do you ever wonder how others would feel if you were dead?  You took your own life...  Do you wonder how your parents would feel?   Your siblings?  Your friends?  Did you ever take that into consideration?  No.  Maybe because you're too self-centered and focused on yourself.  You're more worried about how you feel and how to fix things rather than the world around you.  You think the world would still spin without you but the truth is yes it would, but without you it wouldn't be the same anymore.   So don't you dare think that.   The world is still going to continue to spin for those who didn't know you, but for the ones who did, the ones who cares more than anyone, their world would stop.  The stars in the sky will no longer shine bright like those beautiful diamonds you loved so much.  That bright yellow sun?  Now it's an ugly gold.  Their world is still spinning but each day you're gone things just get worse and worse.  You were their everything, but now you're gone.  Your best friend?  They've developed depression and have gone mute.  They cry every night wishing they could've done more, wishing that you were still here, wishing they knew what was going on.  They regret losing you because you were there since day 1.  You told them that everything was fine, and that you were okay.  They believed you.  But now you're gone.  You faked that perfect smile of yours, and that deceitful look.  God damn that look.  If only they looked in your eyes and saw your pain.  If only they knew what happened behind closed doors.  If only they just knew.  Eyes give away our biggest lies and our darkest secrets.  Your parents?  Oh.. your parents.  Mom broke down crying and just couldn't stop.  She struggles everyday to get out of bed, dreading the thought of having to walk past your empty room.  It hurts her beyond anything that is comprehensible.  She has to be strong for everyone else because she's the rock that keeps everyone together.  Your dad?  He started working more, just so he wouldn't have to be home, the thought of you being gone has taken a huge tole on him and he doesn't know how to deal with it except by working himself to death.  Your siblings?  Some of them too young to understand.. they don't understand why you never came home.   They are too young to comprehend that you're never coming home.  You were supposed to be there to be a role model and protect them.  The older ones?  They blame themselves.  They blame themselves for not knowing anything was wrong.  You always seemed to be okay.  You had your off days but of course everyone did so no one ever thought anything of it.  No one knew how bad you were hurting.  No one knew what went on inside your head.  No one knew.  No one knew until it was too late. All you had to do was talk to someone who cared.  But you didn't think anyone did.  You let yourself fall down the rabbit hole and let yourself believe that no one cared about you.   You had so much to look forward to.  You had a whole life ahead of you.  So just imagine.. Think about all the people it would effect if you were gone.. Because believe it or not, you are loved, people do care about you. It's okay to have bad days, bad weeks, hell even bad months.  But don't you fucking dare shut out everyone who cares about you and lie about your pain.  If you're not okay then talk to someone who cares and loves about you.  So please.  Don't take your life.  Your worth everything and you deserve to be here.