Alter Egos

What May Yet Be

Description: In the silence, Barry allows his mind to drift to what might have been...and what may yet be. Companion piece/sequel to 'What Might Have Been.'

...

Three weeks; it had only been three weeks. If someone had told him that in less then a month he'd be sitting in an empty house with a discarded wedding ring, he wouldn't have believed them. But here he was. Three weeks since they had stopped Cicada. Three weeks since he had lost his only child. Three weeks since Thawne had won. Three weeks since Barry had started systematically distancing himself from everyone and everything.

Iris had reached her boiling point at week one. Everything that had been churning and building since before Barry took Nora back home finally came out. Iris screamed, and Barry didn't really say anything, too tired and weary to argue by then. After that, she packed her things and left, dropping her wedding band in his palm before she went. Two days later, she filed for a divorce.

The entire series of events had blindsided him, but looking back, he wondered if maybe it shouldn't have. Sure, they had their fair share of problems, but he had always told himself that they could be fixed, smoothed over, and mended. Because he loved her and they were meant to be. But maybe the reality was, their foundation had always been cracked, and he was just too blind to see it. But regardless of the reason, it didn't change the fact that he now found himself sitting alone with a deep ache in his chest.

Alone. Alone had become his normal in the past few weeks, and really it was his own fault. He was the one that was distancing himself and staying away from the lab. He thought he needed time and space. Yet, if he were being perfectly honest, a part of him had hoped that the team wouldn't let him do that again. That they'd...pursue him this time around. But they hadn't, and in retrospect, Barry isn't sure he blamed them. When was the last time he went out of his way to be involved in their lives? The truth was, Barry couldn't remember.

The speedster let out a heavy sigh, running a hand over his face. After that, he set the ring down on the coffee table and laid back on the couch he had been sitting on. He settled in and closed his eyes, hoping a few hours of sleep would clear his mind.

However, he was soon brought back to reality by a distinct vibrating sound, the tune of 'Summer Nights' drifting quietly through the air. Barry sat straight up and snatched his phone from the table. He didn't have to look to know who it was, yet he found himself staring at the contact in disbelief. It was a surprise...yet a very pleasant one. If there was anybody that he needed to talk to, it was probably Caitlin. She had always had a way of helping him through even the most difficult of times.

Barry quickly answered the phone, a soft "hey," escaping his lips.

"Hey," she greeted equally as soft. Yet there was a weariness behind her words.

Suddenly, a thought entered Barry's head, one that he hadn't considered when he first picked up the phone.

"Is everything alright? I didn't miss a meta alert, did I?" He asked with concern, hoping beyond hope that he hadn't somehow not heard it while he was wallowing in his own misery.

"No, no, everything's fine," Caitlin assured, "I just...I wanted to see how you were doing," she added. Barry felt as if somehow she had been able to read his mind and emotions from afar.

At first, he thought about telling her everything. He thought about just laying it all out, and asking for her advice. But then he thought better of it. She had just lost her dad; she had enough of her own grief and turmoil to deal with, without adding his to the mix.

"I'm good," Barry eventually replied, hoping his voice didn't betray him. "How have you been?" He inquired, regretting that he hadn't been asking her all along.