Cries of the Stars

Sunshine on Dead Bodies

Of Course there are days when I feel somewhat free again, they don't occur often, but sometimes the stars manage to shine upon me.

Today is a day like that.

The sun is shining, warming my pale face as I walk down the trail towards the training grounds. The loud sound of the other lumens, their laughs, their weapon's cry as they meet.

As I'm closing in on the field I put on my scarf, it's a red scarf, made out of the sacred lumen fabric, making it neither to hot nor too cold. It's mandatory for a lumen to cover her face, for her to hide it for the rest of the world. A lumen must also wear a cloak, and she must always have the hood on to cover her eyes. In a different world, at a different time I might've refused this life of absolute hiding but now I've gone so used to it that I don't even mind wearing my scarf and cloak.

Other than these garments I also wear leather boots, designed to make no noise as I walk, my gloves and of course a shirt and a pair of trousers.

The field is packed with people when I arrive, everyone so caught up in their own training that they don't even notice me as I walk to grab my weapons. Most of the women here are younger than me, some has just begun their first year of training as a lumen.

I grab my bow and my arrows and walk with steady steps towards the stable. Arcturus is waiting for me inside, he attempts to jump onto me but his chain stops him, I love Arcturus with all my heart and it kills me to lock him up every evening before I leave.

"Stay Arcturus, stay," I say with a strong voice. He obeys me and sits down again, still wiggling his two tails. I walk in behind him and unlocks him. My hand carefully stroking his back as I walk up to his face again.

Arcturus is a two-tailed Giwolf, he is almost as big as a full grown horse and covered in thick white fur. Every Lumen has their twin star, a spirit animal, Arcturus is mine.

I face him and put my hand on his nose, he leans in and closes his eyes just before our foreheads meet, his fur is very short there and I can feel his pulse on my skin. I feel his strength, his mindset, his heartbeat, his breathing. I smile to myself, Arcturus is the only thing in this world that can make me happy. Our heads part and I look into his amber eyes.

"Shall we go boy?" I ask him with a great smile on my face, a real smile.

He lies down on the ground and I jump up on his back, i lean forwards and whisper the commands to make him stand up again, once he's up i carefully press my feet into his side and he runs out of the stable.

Everyone stops what they're doing and watches me and Arcturus in envy, I'm the only lumen in the tribe who has a Giwolf as my twin star, the most common animal is the deer, after that it's the horse. I ride far into the forest with the bow in my left hand and an arrow in my right. I've done this route at least a million times, I know where every target is and I know every hidden passage and every little stone like the back of my hand. There is actually no point of doing this, but feeling the wind in my hair, feeling Arcturus strong body under me, feeling the sun warm my cloak. It all makes me feel so, so, so very free. It's like out here, nothing can stop me, not even the thought of Noha can reach me out here, because this, this is my place, just mine.

When I'm back at the training grounds nobody is there anymore. I check the sun, have I been gone so long? But the sun is only in the centre of the sky. The others should be here. Arcturus senses the tension in my muscles and stops, he listens to the quiet and observes the field carefully. I grab an arrow and jump off Arcturus back, I command him to stay where he is and I walk with smooth steps towards the armory. I place the arrow gently on the string, I stop by the wall where the youngest girls practice their archery. My fingers tremble on the arrow, the feathers are soft against my skin. I breath in, I breath out. I pull the string backwards and I step out from the wall.

The sight before me, bashes the air out of my lungs.