Melmoth

Preview

It's not like I walk around purposely making my already tragic life more difficult than it needs to be. I'm not a people person, at least that's what I tell myself to justify my reasoning for pushing people away. But as time passes by and the clock ticks down I feel fearful, scared that I might have to let people in. That I have no reason whatsoever to not show them who I am inside, who I truly am. But that's when things get even scarier because no matter how I may act on the outside, I have no idea who I am on the inside. The facade that I put up is almost bulletproof: the semi-lonely bi girl who makes sarcastic jokes that can get a little too personal sometimes. It's the only defense I have against them, but more importantly it's the only defense I have against her. Her who makes me feel like I'm going to throw up butterflies, her who makes me listen to love songs that I didn't even realize were love songs (not until somebody pointed it out at least). In my head, cheerful people often annoy me; now I'm not a complete debbie downer, so don't get it twisted, but those who laugh for no reason or make corny jokes that don't make sense never seemed to catch the good side of me. But somehow whenever she makes corny jokes or sarcastic remarks that sometimes don't make sense I find myself laughing along with her.

    "Have you guys ever thought about how easy it would be for all of us to get pregnant?"

    To say that I was confused would be an understatement. But to be honest this isn't the weirdest thing that I've heard from her.

"What?"

"No like seriously, like imagine just waking up and being pregnant."

"Why would you be thinking about that? What's wrong with you?"

I didn't know wether to be confused or amused by the bluntness of her tone but I couldn't help the giggles that spewed from my mouth. Being quiet with her speaking of absurd things was a daily struggle.

My uncontrollable giggles appeared not because her jokes are particularly funny, but because her angelic laugh is contagious and I can't help myself when I sneak a peek at her adorably scrunched up face that makes it almost impossible to see her cobalt colored eyes. Oh, her eyes. Her breathtaking eyes that speak volumes when she isn't, which is very rare mind you. In my opinion, her eyes are the most terrific part about her, or about anyone, really. Because despite how many lies you tell or plots you spin, your eyes will always tell the truth. No matter the color, our eyes hold secrets that we didn't even know we were holding; they are our greatest weakness, and hers are mine.