One Last Time

Skye stared at the stuffed doll that she had being working on the last few days. She didn't usually make stuffed dolls, however she was rather handy with a needle and a thread, making a few colourful cushions for her sofa after not finding any she liked in the market, but a doll? This was her first.

Slowly, she picked the small thing up. She had looked so long through her clothes to find the right fabric for each part of it, even going as far as to chop up the pretty dress she bought back in the city.
She winced a little bit as she remembered how pretty she had looked in that navy blue dress in the shop mirror, but that had been the only time she had worn it as it was too formal to be worn out and about,so with a few snips of her scissors, her dress now had a small chunk taken off the bottom.
Perhaps she could cut it evenly around the bottom and then turn it up so it could be worn again, but frankly Skye felt it would be a waste of her time. She would never attend anything romantic enough for her to wear something so formal again. She closed her eyes and ran her finger over the smooth, blue hat of the doll. She smiled a little. Skye opened her eyes and picked up the doll.
For the hair, she had originally intended to use brown wool but it had proved to be too thick for her liking, so instead Skye decided to thread individual strands of cotton onto the head, just outside the rim of the hat. The result: a soft mass of cotton hair that almost resembled his exactly. Skye chuckled as she remembered that one day when she had knocked off Jasper's beloved hat with the back of her hand and run her hand through his dirty blonde locks, ruffling his hair up, much to his displeasure.

She twirled a few pieces of the cotton hair around her little finger. She had done a good job with the hair, yet it just didn't feel exactly like his. The smile was gone now and a single tear came trickling down her cheek. It could never be the same. Things simply couldn't be the same again.
She sighed as her thoughts drifted over to the beige overalls. For those, she had cut up an old work shirt of hers that she had owned for years. That shirt was the perfect match for the overalls.
Old, well-worn and dirty, she was able to catch the essence of those work overalls perfectly without even trying, and with a tiny little piece of that fabric, she even managed to make the belt that wrapped around the doll's waist and tiny little pockets too.
Skye couldn't remember a time when he hadn't worn those overalls. If it hadn't been for that hat, those overalls would have been his trademark. Even in winter, when little snowflakes drifted down and the ice on the lake froze up, he wore those darn overalls. Whenever she saw him during the cold months, she always wondered why he was never freezing to death. They must have been much thicker than they looked. Once, Skye had asked his best friend, David, if that was the only thing he owned. With a chuckle, he responded that the guy just owned multiple pairs, and ruffled her hair up.

The shoes had been tricky. Skye owned plenty of brown fabric but she wanted something strong and tough for the shoes. Leather would have been perfect, but the only leather she had was on the saddle for her horse, Midnight.

Slowly, the clock had ticked away until she finally gave in, grabbed her scissors and wandered off into the stables. Surely her horse wouldn't notice the small chunk of leather missing from his the left bottom corner of his precious saddle.
It had taken a while, but Skye had finally managed to get the leather shoes to stay in shape as she attached them to the doll's legs.
After the shoes had been completed, she had finished the main aspects of the doll, and now all she needed to do was to work on the elaborations to finally bring the little doll to life.
She smiled at it. The doll's hat was a perfect replica of the real thing. Now the doll was almost finished. All that was left for Skye to do was to give the doll a face.

She placed the doll back on the kitchen counter. She walked over to the box where she kept everything all together in one heap of a mess and rummaged through it. Underneath the life insurance letter, were the paints she had ordered last Friday for the job. They had taken a while to get here but Skye knew that the face was the most important part.
Walking back over to the counter, she placed the fabric paints down and took out a small brush.
Skye began with those eyes, those beautiful blue eyes. Why he hid them underneath that hat of his, she never understood. No, she understood that he preferred to keep his emotions hidden, yet most days Skye just wanted to gaze right into those eyes and let them overwhelm her with the warmth deep within them.
His eyes were her second favourite thing about him. Her favourite thing was that smile of his. Not the wide grin he would use when he teased her, but the way the corners of his mouth would turn up slightly from time to time in a cute fashion that made her giggle and him embarrassed.
For Jasper, smiling was a big thing. Around the town, she rarely saw him smile at anyone. He preferred to keep his head down and keep to his own, but when he was with Skye, it seemed all he had for her was smiles. Rarely did he lose his smile near her and if he did, it wasn't gone for long. He could never stay upset or angry with Skye for long.
Skye dropped her paintbrush down as she squeezed her eyes shut to imagine that smile again. Oh, how she longed to see it. If she had known what she knew now, she would have made every moment of the last time she looked in his eyes last, every second of that kiss passionate and forced him to stay at home with her on that fateful day.

------FLASHBACK------

"I have to go soon."

Skye swallowed, attempting to mirror some of Jasper's self-control. She had not realised up until now how difficult that was. "I know", he replied, and then into the silence that followed, "You don't have to do this! We could leave here, together. You don't need to---"
He shook his head. "I can't stay, Skye."

The calmness Skye was striving for was breaking, along with her voice. "You don't have to prove anything! Not to them-"

"No, I don't, but I have to do this for myself."

Skye took a step towards Skye, placing a hand on her shoulder.

"Skye, if I don't come back-"

"Don't! Just don't, Jasper!"

The tears she was trying so hard to hold in for Jasper's sake were threatening to fall, so she roughly scrubbed a hand over her eyes. Jasper's voice was low and quiet, his expression distant, a stranger. "I can't promise you anything," he said, his voice pained.

For a moment, Skye struggled with her emotions, knowing they would just make things worse if she broke down in front of him, it would be harder for the both of them. He was a silent, remote figure who Skye knew would not speak his mind, lest his rage and hurt consume him, for that, and for everything else about Jasper, Skye loved him.

"Skye, it's time." He made to turn and walk away.

"Wait!"

On the spur of the moment, Skye fumbled with the clasps of her necklace, the pendent sparkling brightly even now. Jasper looked as though he might protest but then bowed his head, allowing it to be fastened around his neck. Skye brought her hand to rest against his cheek, lifting her lover's head back up so that she could look him in the eye. "Bring this back to me", she whispered fiercely. "And then, marry me."

"Skye-"

"Say it."

Jasper stood straight and tall - a man about to march off to his fate. "I will marry you, Skye." With that, he leaned down to her face, their lips inches apart, and kissed her. His kiss said everything his voice couldn't: 'I love you, I'm sorry, goodbye.'

Skye could only keep her eyes closed in pain as they parted. When she opened them again, he was gone. Looking where her lover last stood, knowing that there was little chance that he would comeback, only then did she begin to weep openly.

Tears rolled down her eyes as she remembered this. Knowing what she refused to believe in happened , she would have kept him at home. She could have, she would have, and she should have.
Skye grabbed the doll and hugged it tight, sobbing loudly. The stupid thing was useless. All she wanted right now was a final hug from Jasper, the man she would always love.