AUTHOR'S NOTE: We are now back to the perspective of the main character.
You slowly wake up, your eyes fluttering open. You're in the arms of your bestie. "C'mon," she says, "I think that we ought to get you home now." "Okay," you reply, thinking that she's right and that parties aren't really your forte any way.
And then you see HIM again! You make eye contact, and then start talking at a mile a minute.
"OHMYGOSHICAN'TBELIEVETHATYOU'REHEREANDTHATIFINALLYGETTOMEETYOU!!!!," you squeal out, not taking any breaths or putting any spaces between words. You then go on and on about how amazing and handsome he is. He smiles a dazzling smile and then his head... Grows?
Yes, it IS growing! It's not your imagination. You suddenly stop talking as his head suddenly begins resembling that of the Red Queen of Hearts in the Tim Burton version of Alice in Wonderland. "Go on," he says, and you do, both because you want to please him and because you're curious as to whether or not his head will get any bigger.
And as you continue it does, seemingly blowing up like a balloon. It just keeps getting bigger... And bigger... And bigger, until... SPLAT!
His head had gotten so big that it has now exploded, covering both you and everyone who was near him in blood and chunks of skull, hair, head meat, and brain matter. You shriek, having just seen your love's head explode in a violent, gorey, and deadly fashion.
. . .
It has been three weeks since the incident and it still scars your mind in vivid detail. You describe what happened to the therapist, hoping that talking about it will help you move on.
The therapist shrugs and simply says, "Well if you ask me, it's his fault for getting such a big head about it."
YOU ARE READING
Cringey Fanfiction Parody (Insert Name)
FanfictionHey, you know those really cringey fanfictions that squealing preteens/teens make where you insert yourself in and date their hot, douchey idol? Let's laugh at them together while teaching girls to avoid them!
