Impact (Impact Series Book 1)

Charlie

A creepy silence falls over the mess hall as Rosalie's words suddenly dawn on us. I don't want to acknowledge what's happening. Acknowledging makes it real. We aren't kids anymore. Mom and dad can't stop this from becoming the nightmare it has become. It is the reality we are currently in. 

"We need to come together and focus," says Jonas walking to the center of the room. "Panicking and freaking out right now isn't going to help anything. There needs to be some order here because we are all we are going to have for the time being," 

I put my head in my hands and tune him out. I'm tired of everyone telling us to be calm. I'm tired of taking orders. I just want to be back to how things were. I want to go to the football field and get bitched at my coach for not running hard enough. I want to get into small arguments with Rosalie over me checking some random cheerleader out in the hallway. I just need some reminder that I'm Charlie Walker and not this person that life has forced me to become.

A murderer. You're a murderer, Charlie.

I push that thought out of my head and let out a soft groan under my breath. I need to take my mind off of things. I don't want to think about that anymore, but all I see is his face in my head. McConga was his name. That was the last name of the man that I killed prematurely. Did he have a family? Did he have a wife that is waiting for him to come home?

Maybe he was an asshole. Maybe he was the scum of the earth and a predator, and I did the world a favor by taking him out. Maybe I am not the monster that he said I am. 

You're a murderer, Charlie. Doesn't matter if he was an asshole. You're a murderer.

"I can't do this right now," I whisper to Rosalie. She glances over at me and gives me a concerned look. "I can't focus. This is happening too quickly," 

"I agree," she whispers. "But we don't really have a choice,"

Talking to her allows for the distraction that I've been needing to get myself out of my thoughts. 

There's been something that has been bothering me since the initial fight. Why did Rosalie send Rachel back to help me when she should have been focusing on getting to the PA system? Is there still a chance for us to go back to normal? 

"Can I ask you something?" I ask her quietly.

"What's up?" 

"Why did you send Rachel back to help me out there? I'm maybe reading too far into things, but she said you sent her back to help me?"

"I didn't send her, Charlie," says Rosalie confused. "She asked. I didn't even know that you were in trouble,"

I look around the room and then get up to walk out of the mess hall. I was stupid to think into things with Rosalie. She's with Jonas now, but why is Rachel asking to go help me? 

Jonas calls out my name as I walk out of the mess hall, but I ignore him and keep walking towards my cabin. I hear footsteps running behind me, and half expecting to see Rosalie I turn around, but I turn around and see Rachel standing behind me. 

"Are you okay?" Rachel asks me.

"Are any of us?" I ask her.  "We just fought some branch of the government, are labeled murders, and now I'm locked in a stupid camp that I didn't even want to come to in the first place. This summer has had a way of really slapping my in the face over and over," 

She frowns and we continue to walk to my cabin, we walk in silence until we get to the porch of my cabin. She looks at me in my eyes and then quickly moves her eye contact to the floor. She starts to play with something on the floor of the porch with her shoe before I grab her hand and she looks at me with a shocked expression.