Queliot fics we all need

I need you to live

Penny-23 disappeared leaving them to deal with their shit, because he really didn't want to watch that. Quentin ducked his head mumbling that he was okay over and over and not sounding convincing at all. Elliot knew that defense mechanism all to well.

„Q, I know you. Please don't try to lie to me or worse hide from me." Elliot asked softly, taking his hand in his own.

Quentin looked down to try to fight back tears, but couldn't stop trembling. He was just so tired with loosing everything and everyone. And he was still shook, he could see real Elliot again, talk to him, feel his warmth and hear his voice.

"You know what I admired most in you, since the day we met?" Elliot smiled, because this made Quentin look at him "Your bravery. You are so brave Q. And now? I need you to be brave for me okay? And not in the way I know you're thinking. I know you're doing everything you can to fight that thing and bring me back, but when I'm back I need you there alive and as well as we can get."

Quentin broke down and hid his face in Elliot's arm. He almost forgot how good it felt in his embrace. How comforting. Quentin often wondered if the beauty of all life was just being safely tucked in Elliot's arms.

"It's just too much, El... First Alice screwed as over, then we're different people, then you are possessed, then my dad died and now... I just can't... I'm so tired..."

Elliot hugged him more firmly hearing he also lost his dad. How much he had been through and Elliot wasn't there for him?

"Q, I can't even imagine how awful and pointless it may all feel, but I need you okay? I need you to take care of yourself, before I will be able to take care of you myself. Will you take your meds and be brave and alive?"

It was a lot to ask of a person in Quentin's state. Elliot knew that. But he also knew that it was his only shot at convincing the man he loved not to get himself killed, while fighting to get Monster out of him. And he couldn't imagine to live in a world were he couldn't stop Quentin from getting himself killed. Also Elliot was so afraid that it would be his hands that monster would kill Quentin with. How many awful things Quentin must have seen done by his body? By his hands? With his voice?

Quentin looked up at him and saw that gentle, loving stare that only Elliot could give him. He didn't flinch when Elliot ever so slowly and gently caressed his neck and then cheek. He saw light bruises there and was terrified that the monster did it to him, using his hands to hurt Quentin.

"I will try. I promise." Quentin whispered, voice cracking, like he was about to cry.

Elliot gave him a small nod and smiled at him softly, gently caressing his cheek with his thumb. His fingers trembling slightly, scared if those hands hurt him. Elliot saw darkened skin beneath his eyes, meaning he wasn't sleeping so well, or maybe at all. It was a very long time, since he saw Quentin anywhere close to that state. Elliot was scared too, but most of all he was scared that Quentin seemed to don't care if he lived or died.

"I hope you mean it Q, because I... I care so much for you, okay? So if you still care for me too then please care for your own life too" Elliot stopped for a moment, realizing he's seconds away, from letting tears flow. "Don't get hurt, because of me. Remember there is still hope for all of us. Hell I even hope that real Penny comes back to us!" Elliot sighed relieved when Quentin cracked a smile "And as long as I am stuck here, I need you to have hope for both of us. Let our friends help you. Please Q... I made a mistake back then. I really meant what I said and I hope it's good enough reason to stay alive and live that life..."

"El.. I... you"

Elliot smiled softly and caressed his lips with his thumb as he kissed his temple. How much both of them missed that? What's more importantly how much they both needed it. Especially right now. That comfort and glimpse of hope in all darkness Quentin was drowning lately.

"I am taking you on that promise, so you can actually hear me say how much I love you Q." Elliot said before he got too scared.

Quentin only managed to gasp, before Penny-23 appeared dragging him out of Elliot's mind. Last thing he saw was Elliot's soft, helpless smile and that was enough to give him hope again. He still was broken and tired, but if that was what was waiting for him? It was fucking worth living for.