Return To Me ( Book 3) ON HOLD

Chapter Six: My baby

It was calm today. So calm the entire neighbourhood seemed abandoned. The houses here were so pristine they didn't look lived in. Like they were just put there to be looked at. It was a Longshot by far. She had not been left with any other option. She needed to see her. Jared's refusal had further motivated her to the low point she was at now.

No matter the circumstances she was still Felicia's mother. Though if he saw her walking by his house right now he might not hesitate to call the police. It was a one in one hundred chance seeing as they were never at home or outside. What kind of person has their kids cooped up in a house all day?

The grey-blue house came into view as did her breathing stop for today, today the front lawn had occupants. Two girls sat amid a huge picnic blanket surrounded by dolls and tea sets. She moved closer. A tiny voice in the back of her mind was saying something but she couldn't hear it. Her eyes were locked on a target and if she did not stop soon she would find herself on that very picnic blanket with the two girls.

One of them sprang to her feet. She looked around as if sensing some sort of trouble. Angelica froze in her tracks. She got a better view of the standing girl and her face twisted into a scowl. She looked just like Jared but there was a little bit of her mother in her as well. The girl locked eyes with her for a split second then she ran inside the house. The other child unphased by the first girls' behaviour sat with her back turned drinking tea and talking to her dolls.

Angie's heart sped up. There she was. No more than ten feet away. Oblivious to the woman with the pounding heartbeat standing behind her. Her daughter. Felicia.

"My baby" she whispered unable to speak any louder.

Her eyes teared up as she remembered the last time she laid eyes or her. There were no tears in her eyes then, making her heartbreak even more now. Maybe Jared was right. It was better if she stayed away from her. What good was she as a mother when her first big decision about her child was to abandon her?

Beautiful bouncy curls layered her little shoulders. Her eyes. What if they had the same brown eyes. She probably had her father's dimples when she smiled. She was not a bad looking baby when she was born but seeing her now meant her judgment was wrong then. Why on Earth did she leave this beautiful little girl behind?

This was it. She had to tell her. It was the only reasonable way to go. All those years of always wondering about this little dream standing in front of her were about to end. All she had to do was call out to her. Take her by the hands and...

"Felicia! Lunch! Hurry up it's Mac n cheee...."

She took off immediately. Angelica felt her heart crumble. She was so close. Just a breath away. It all seemed like a dream. She was there then she was gone. How did she let herself become such a stranger to her child? Why couldn't she have known better than? She sighed and turned around. Her phone alarmed. Great, she was going to be late.

There are things people do in life that forever mark them as monsters. She knew that she had done the worst thing possible. A deed that was unforgettable and should surely be unforgivable. Though time has changed and the monster was no more the damage she had left in her wake had already been done.

Now, there was only one thing she wanted more than anything and that was to be in her daughter's life once more. This feeling she never expected to feel when she had left had her unable to sleep at night thinking about the 'what if' possibilities. At the point of her horrendous mistake, she told herself that she was never coming back. She left and whatever she had left behind was supposed to stay behind her.

Things were good until it was not. She would see mothers with their daughters and resonate with bitter feelings. She could have had that but the child she was too much. She blamed the child but as time passed she kept on thinking about it and then she found clarity. She was the wrong one.

She was the one who abandoned her child. A helpless baby. Her excuse is that she was not in the right state of mind when she did it and to some extent maybe that was true. She wanted to come right back but the shame was too much. She left without a word and had not looked back. She had to let her go. She had to move on. Three years and two miscarriages later have deemed her almost infertile.

Michael her adoring husband keeps telling her it was okay only she knew what that look in his eyes meant. It was the same look she gets whenever kids were around. So adorable with their laughter and smiling faces. He wanted a few of his own and time was running out for her to give him the chance. At first, she did not understand why it was so hard. Since she had done it before.

"Good morning, I am Loraine Bailey, so sorry to keep you waiting."

"It was no problem."

"Alright, are you ready to start your interview?