Ninja Nun

"Hey, Sister Mary, how ya doin t'night? It's always good to see ya. Say, if you see Mr. Thomas would you tell him his dinner is gettin cold? He's been acting kinda funny lately.", says Mrs. Thomas, a short round woman.
"Yes, Mrs. Thomas I'll do that. Have a good night now."

Minutes later Mary rounds the corner of some industrial buildings. There she sees a figure crouched over a dog, looking suspiciously like he's eating it. In fact, he is eating it. As she gets closer she realizes it's Mr. Thomas. He doesn't look well. He looks like death warmed over and served with the leftovers. He turns his head and sees her. His zombie eyes widen at the sight of fresh meat. Mary crosses herself. The undead Mr. Thomas starts shambling toward her as fast as he can shamble. Mary pulls out her cross and makes sure the street light is glinting off it for maximum effect. Mr. Zomby Thomas slows his charge and starts grabbing at the reflection on his face. He grabs his nose, which he dents, then his cheek, putting his finger through it and finally his eye. His inability to touch the reflection only agitates him.

This is not the effect Mary had intended. She takes a step backward, still holding up the cross in front of her. The zombie quickly approaches her, his left hand outstretched. Mary begins to pray audibly. The zombie does not stop. It closes in on her. Mary crouches as he approaches. She launches herself upward and grabs the wrist of the zombie's outstretched hand at the same time. She gives it a mighty jerk as she continues skyward in a graceful, twisting arc over his head. Up goes Mr. Thomas's arm. At twelve o'clock high the shoulder stops moving. A sickening crunching sound is accompanied by the separation of Zomby Thomas's hand from the rest of his arm. Mary watches him below her waving his handless arm. The useless veins and muscles flail about, blood morbidly absent. Sister Mary lands behind the zombie, as surprised as Mr. Thomas that she is holding his wriggling hand. "Well that's a fine how d'ya do", she exclaims for no reason as she shakes the hand in greeting. Meanwhile, Mr. Thomas is thumping his stump of an arm against his right hand, babbling angrily and pivoting to face Mary.

The undead Mr. Thomas is no longer interested in some trinket around her neck. He wants to suck the living marrow from her bones. The zombie swings with his left arm. Mary blocks the blow but her hand gets tangled in the veins hanging there. Seeing his advantage he pulls her toward him. His fetid breath blasts her face assaulting her senses. The zombie grabs her throat with his right hand. Mary is stunned. With crushing efficiency he squeezes and babbles with glee. Mary now has only seconds.

In a surprise move designed to distract the zombie Sister Mary jams his dismembered hand in his mouth. The zombie's incomprehensible babbling stops. The same cannot be said for his hand on her windpipe. He tightens his grip. Mary can see the blackness from the lack of oxygen creeping in at the edges of her vision. In a last desperate attempt, Mary lashes out. She punches with her remaining strength and lands a blow on the zombie's shoulder. His right arm separates slightly from his body. His fingers loosen around her neck. Mary gulps air like a stranded fish. She cocks her knee and delivers a merciless blow to the zombie's crotch, it just makes him stagger backward and take her with him, but his fingers are losing their grip.

Mary recites the rosary and delivers an exceptional combination. First her right fist than her left. The blows land on her opponent's midsection. She cocks her knee and jams her foot in the zombie's stomach. Mr. Zomby staggers backward and his right arm separates from his body with a hideous tearing sound. There stands Mary with an arm sloping from her throat. She pushes it aside as if it were hair hanging in front of her face.

Mary continues her attack. She thrusts her right palm upward against the zombie's chin. The blow is so furious that his head crumples in on itself and swings backward off his shoulders. For a moment time seems to stand still. The zombie's body stands motionless yet headless. Very slowly the torso rocks back and forth and finally topples backward. As it does so Mary delivers a loud, "Amen!".