A really bad joker x reader that I made on a dare

Chapter 1

VioletCitii Here
So there's a kid in my class. He's a year older than me. He's so cool, but he's always so cold to me!1! He only talks to that Takamaki bish!! He is such !!! A!!!?!!!! BAKA NEE>;(((!!!!!!!!! Can't he see that only I can love him?! He's so kawaii desu nii!!!!!!! But he's such a baka!!

So I went to the class like normal. And there right next to me he was talking to Takamaki!! Ugh!! I need to go make him something...

So I learned he loves curry, so I need to make some!! I made some and went back to school the next day!!

"Ren-senpai!!" I yelled out to him. Then I started talking in my tsundere voice Bc I'm a tsundere. "Kyaa! Okay! I have to give you something!!! SO I WAS COOKING SOMETHING AND IT JUST HAPPENED TO BE YOUR FAVOURITE!! ITS NOT LIKE I LIKE YOU OR ANYTHING!!!!??? AND I MADE EXTRA!!!!! SO HERE!! BAKA!" I blushed furiously.

"O...kay?" He said to me, as he took the curry. Then he walked over to his seat and said to Takamaki "Why the hell... why is she acting like a literal anime girl Ann help me please" He said to her. Ugh!! He's s u c h a b a k a ! Why can't he understand that no one could love him like me, I thought as I brushed my long black hair out of my face, revealing my beautiful blue eyes.

So I walked out of class, and I saw him on his phone. "Hey babe... yeah I know... see you there... love you! Bye!"
Babe?! He's dating someone?! Ugh, I want him though!! What does this girl have that I don't!! I know! I'll follow him and see what he likes so I can become like her!!

So I followed him into a cafe. It smells like him. Then he walked over to a blonde boy and drank some coffee and kissed him?! Ugh!! He's gay!! Why are all the hot guys gay!! But then I see that he looks angry. And he's fighting with him. Oh! They're gonna break up! This is my chance! Sakamoto-kun's leaving so I can go and mend his boyfriend's wounded heart!!

He looked shocked when he saw me and just kept drinking his coffee. Then I confessed to him. I told him that I loved him so much and that I'd never hurt him. Then he looked at me with his gray eyes and leaned in and said...
"The fight was about whether coffee or hot cocoa was better. Please stop stalking me for the love of everything."