The Pacifist and The Destroyer (malexmale)

4. Zuuro

I sigh as I watch Lane making his way across the cafeteria, his hood pulled up as usual to hide the back of his neck, and a takeout bag from Sal's in his hand. I know he knows we're here, and I like to think that he knows I'm watching him, but he never looks over. Not even once. He just comes in, gets his food, and leaves as usual.

Megan clears her throat beside me as she drops her tray on the table and sits down. "If you stare at him any harder, your eyes are gonna pop out of your head." She teases.

I frown, sighing again as I look away when he disappears out the door. I do my best to look happy when he's around. I don't want him to worry about me. But it's getting harder and harder to put that mask on the longer this goes on. "I know. I'm pathetic." I tell her, my voice muffling as I drop my head down on the table; narrowly missing my own lunch tray.

He's been back a week and a half now, and we've only talked twice; the night he first got back, and briefly Sunday night when he returned yet again after having disappeared all weekend. Training, he explained. I just really wish I'd known that before spending the whole weekend in a panic, worried he'd gotten taken again.

Megan gives me a pat on the back. "Breakups make us all a little pathetic, Z, don't fret it."

Her teasing helps a little, coaxing a small smile as I pick my head back up again when the rest of our lunch crew starts to filter in.

"What're we talking about?" Fallon asks; chipper as usual as she and Paul take their seats. They've been going through a bit of a rough patch these past few weeks, but looking at them now, you'd never be able to tell with the way Paul's arm tucks around her waist to pull her in. Maybe they're fine now? I make a mental note to ask her later when we're alone.

"Zuuro's just pining over his ex." Megan explains, beating me to the punch. "It's like I keep saying, you just need a good rebound, that's all. Get him off your mind."

I only wish it were that easy. They don't understand though. They're trying to help, but how can they when the only person that can truly make me happy – the only one I want – I can't have.

"I miss him." I pout, glancing over at Tallon on the other side of his sister as he tenses up visibly at the mention of Lane. I'm not sure what's going on with him. He's been acting...strange. Part of me wants to ask if he's okay, but I don't think it'd be well received coming from me. We've talked and we're tolerant of each other, but...I'm not sure we'll ever be more than that.

Fallon reaches across the table to grab my hand; drawing my attention back to her. "Just give him some time, okay? He's been through a lot, and with everything that happening with his dad, it's understandable that he might need some space. He'll come around when he's ready."

I nod, trying to pretend like I agree, but my worry is evident. I don't like how sad he looks all the time. I don't like the empty look in his eyes. I don't like how he went away last weekend and came back somehow looking worse than before. I don't like that no one else seems as concerned about all this as I do.

Paul swallows down a bite of his food before weighing in. "Personally, if it was me, I sure wouldn't wanna be alone. I'd wanna be surrounded by as many people as I could."

Yeah, but he can't be. I think to myself; my frown deepening. Lane literally can't be around any of us without hurting us, so he has no choice but the stay away. He's doing what he's always done; self-sacrificing.

"Especially considering the way some of these people talk about him." Runnal – another teammate I've grown close to these past months - adds.

Megan smacks his arm, shooting an annoyed look. "What the fuck?"