Some Things Never Change

Lost The One I Love

Things have been rough for the past months. I haven't seen him in in weeks and I haven't slept in days. Doctors say that the meds will help but they never do. I've lost the one I love. Mom and dad fight about it and my siblings are scared of it. I lost the one I love. Neighbors hear stories and spread rumors. Friends keep it quiet. Teachers notice a change and counselors leave the lines blank. I've just lost the one I love. Things have been rough for the past months.
"Mr. Smith? Can you hear me, Mr. Smith?" Oh great, I'm back in the doctors office. Mrs. Hannah snaps her finger in front of my eyes to grab my attention.
"Do that again, and you wont have fingers to snap with." I say calmly, glaring at her.
"Mr. Smith, there is no need for violence." She started writing in her notepad
It's Always Her Notepad
As she writes in her notepad, I glance around the room. I can heard the tick- tick- ticking of the clock. I can hear the smooth sound of her pen against her paper. I can hear the distant chatter of other people in the hallway. The laughter. The plan making. The small talk. It's crazy how many things a person can say in under a minute. How many words are said in a day, it's countless.
"Mr. Smith-"
"Stop calling me that. My name is Justin. Call me Justin." I hated it when she called me Mr. Smith. It's too formal.
"Justin, why don't you tell me why you are here today?" She smiled. Fake. Her smiles are always fake.
"Because I was forced." My parents force me to go to these therapy sessions. They think they help but they don't. There's nothing wrong with me. I'm normal.
Mrs. Hannah started writing in her notepad again. My foot started tapping on the floor and my fingers against my knee. I want out.
I Want Out-
"Can I leave now?" I snapped a bit and raised my voice. It made her jump a bit.
"Justin, please stay calm. We are almost done. Just a few more question..." She paused and looked at her notepad then back to me "Justin, what is it like at home."
I stopped. She knows I hate that question. She asks it every time.
"I-..." I grew angry "How many times do I have to tell you that I don't want to talk about that?" I noticed that I started yelling but I didn't care. I slammed my hand on her desk. "I wont be back..." I walked out the doors and to my car. When I sat down in my drivers seat, I hit my steering wheel several times before starting it up and driving off. I need to clear my mind. I need a distraction.