Three Words You Never Say

you make me feel helpless

Stephen sat in the corner of the room, staring idly at a wall. Why was he here again? Oh right, because it was some sort of celebration for Ant and Dec. He wasn't paying attention when the boys explained that the party was about, for he was too busy staring at Ant to really be involved in the conversation.

Stephen had always been entranced by Anthony; his eyes were absolutely stunning and his overall confidence around other people is something Stephen admires greatly. That's not where his love for Ant ends though. His breathtaking smile and his warm hugs and cuddles were always the thing to cheer Stephen up on a bad day.

Stephen would've left the party already if it weren't for Ant's pleading whines and puppy dog eyes. How could Stephen say no to that face?

He was of course broken out of his thoughts by a particularly small hand waving in front of his face. "Woah, calm down man. It's just me, you've about jumped twenty feet in the air," Dec chuckled lightly.

Oh so that's why the hand was small.

"What's bothering you, Stevie?"

Stephen stopped and formulated his reply in his head. He couldn't just tell Dec what was really bothering him; he would surely tell Ant. But then again, Stephen really does want the truth out. He sighed heavily.

"Well come on," Dec said, raising an eyebrow, "what's wrong with you?"

Stephen felt like slamming his head against the table.

"It's nothing Dec, really, don't worry about it," Stephen flashed a bright smile as the words left his lips, and Dec would've believed him if it weren't for how Stephen's face fell as his eyes focused on something behind the shorter man.

Dec hesitantly turned around in his seat, hoping I wasn't anything really bad. All he saw was Ant talking to a few of their old friends from when they were kids, most of which were all lovely ladies.

"What's the matter Stephen?" Dec pressed again, wishing for a real answer this time.

"You're familiar with relationships that don't end well, right?"

Stephen felt guilt rest in his stomach when he saw Dec wince at the question.

"Well yeah obviously, but everything tends to work out if you find the right person," Dec smiled as he spotted Ali across the room.

"But what if the 'right person' doesn't see you as anymore than a friend?" To say Dec was confused was an understatement. He had no idea what Stephen was going on about.

"Have you had anything to drink, Stevie?"

"No. Why do you ask?"

"You're making no bloody sense."

Stephen's head rested in his hands as he felt tears prickle his eyes.

"Dec, what do you feel when you look at Ali?"

"What?"

"Just answer the question."

"Well I think she's the most beautiful woman in the world," Declan began, "she's always up for a challenge and she doesn't limit herself to certain things, which makes me love her even more. She's always making my day brighter and she takes care of me, knowing that if she weren't around, I'd end up hurt probably. If she ever left me, I don't know what I'd do."

Stephen watched Dec twirl the straw in his water around, feeling bad for sparking such a thought to cross Dec's mind. "Oh."

"What do you mean, 'oh'?" Dec's eyebrows were knitted together as he looked at his friend quite accusingly.

"I was just wondering what it felt like to feel really, truly, in love with someone."

"Oh come on Stevie, there has to be at least one person that you love like that," Dec laughed as he rolled his eyes.

"There is someone. Trust me. It's just that he doesn't return those feelings."

"Awwe poor Stephen. Do I know this mystery man?" Dec's eyebrows wiggled as he said the last part, hoping to tease Stephen a bit.

"You do. Quite well actually."

"Oh really?"

"Yes."

Dec was completely lost now.

"How well do I know them?"

Stephen took a deep breath as he continued.

"Perhaps maybe a '30 year friendship' type of well."

And just then, as if somehow knowing they were talking about him, Ant comes up to the table the two of them are sitting at, sparks up another conversation, and Dec never mentions the confession for the rest of the night.