So what now?

How could something like this happen?

Lissa and I were on our way to dinner we had been studying in the library after school. I had been working hard for three weeks trying to catch up in my math class.

"Rose are you ok, I have never seen you get so emotional over Math before."

She looked at me with concern. This only made me feel worse and I began to cry again.

"Liss don't you get it, I have to ACE math or I won't get to be your guardian."

I knew it was a bit of an overreaction but I couldn't help it. I could both see and feel through the bond that she was trying not to laugh.

"Rose I think that if you get a B, it will be good enough."

My god I have been a mess since I got back from Russia. I have been an emotional wreck. It's affecting everything; I am eating all the time and it seems that I have developed a nervous stomach. Sometimes it feels like the only bright spot in my life is Adrian. I was about to say that I was not in the mood for dinner (even though I am starving) when Adrian walked up to us and wrapped his arms around me.

"Who ever made my girlfriend cry is going to pay."

Lissa coughed "Um, I think it was me. Me and the math book, that is."

There was a quick flash across his face. It was like he was adding something to a mental to do list. Then he smiled, I knew he was about to change the subject and I was grateful.

"I had the school chef prepare something special for tonight. So, who is hungry?"

I stopped myself from saying I was starving, again. I settled for letting him lead me in to the dining hall. He led us to a small room off to the side where VIP guests dined. Usually we ate with the other students but I guess tonight was special.

"You know when I become a promised Guardian I will have to stand along the wall guarding you guys while you enjoy dinner."

I don't know where that thought came from or why I let it out.

"It won't be like that when we live at court, at least not all the time."

I could sense that Lissa felt guilty over our Guardian / Guarded rolls. She knew that it had been the main reasons Dimitri and I tried not to allow ourselves to fall in love with each other.

I gave her a smile and said "thank God for the royal court."

During dinner Adrian announced that Queen Tatiana asked Lissa and him to come for a visit and he wanted me to come along.

"Oh no, she must have heard about us and if I get called to see her I am sure she is going to have my head on a platter for lunch!"

He held my hand and looked me in the eye. "I will be with you. I promise I won't let her harm you in any way."

I looked into his eyes and nodded "ok, I trust you." He leaned down and kissed me softly on the lips. This was the first time we kissed in person. Last night we shared our first kiss during our dream time.

It will be three weeks tomorrow since I agreed to date him; Adrian had come to visit me in dreams every night. We would sit on the porch swing of some large beautiful house that he said used to belong to his grandmother. Sometimes we would just sit and swing while we watched hummingbirds come feed on the flowers. Other times he would ask me questions about my relationship with Dimitri. Sometimes it was hard to answer the more intimate questions but I wanted to have an honest relationship with him. He also asked me questions about how I was feeling. I was thinking of going back to counseling with Deirdre but the idea of having her constantly answer my questions with more questions would just piss me off more. He answered all of my questions with a frankness that I admired.