Kinks | j.jk ff

- i miss you

Y/N POV

"Namjoonie~" I say as I plant my head on his chest. I could hear his steady heartbeat and his chest rise and fall with his breath.

"Yes?" He says softly, as if he's drifting off to sleep. I lift my hands to look at my nails.

"Why all of a sudden do you want me back? After all those years?" I say slowly, trying not to waver my voice. He doesn't answer right away, but when he does, he says,

"I guess I just didn't like the thought of you with someone else." He wraps his arms around my lazily. I shift my body so that it's easier for me to get out of his grasp whenever I want.

"But you didn't think of that back then-"

"That was in the past. We should let go of-"

"But if we don't hold onto the past we won't learn from our-"

"Are you trying to argue with me Y/n?" He says while sitting up. He looks at me as if he's challenging me to talk back. I take the offer and open my mouth.

"I'm not arguing, I just want answers Namjoon. Why're you getting so worked up?" I say calmly as I can. Trying to show no sign of emotion on my face.

"Y/n you know how I don't like talking about our past." He says while lifting his hand to move a strand hair behind my ear. I gently remove his hand from touching me.

For some reason, I don't want his touch.

"If you just plan to ignore this topic for all your life then I guess we should also ignore each other." I say while getting up. Namjoon gets up too, but I'm quicker than he is. I've already made my way out the door.

"You're taking his too seriously Y/n." He says while trying to catch up with my pace. I scoff as I put on my shoes.

"Taking this too seriously? Namjoon you're ignoring my questions on our past. I want to fix what we did before, but you just want to move on." I say extremely annoyed. As I shove my sweater on, I open the front door, signaling I'm leaving.

But before I do I look back at Namjoon. "And if moving on is what you want, then I suggest we both, should move on from each other." With that I slam the door behind me.

———

Me and Namjoon haven't talked all week. He's been trying to talk to me at school but I've just been ignoring him. He never ever wants to talk about our past to resolve the problems we had before.

Maybe that's another reason why I cheated on him so long ago.

'Stop thinking like that y/n' I say to myself.

As I turn the corner, my eyes automatically matches Jungkooks. We've been having mini eye contacts recently ever since I've ended things with him.

He still loves me. He texts me everyday to tell me he won't stop until I'm his again. Not in a obsessive way. I still love him too of course, I just, don't know what's wrong with me. But I'm not sure if I should be abusing the word love here.

I look away from Jungkook like I always do. Continuing on my day as if he had no play in my life. As I walk past him, I can feel him tense up as he pretends to not know me.

It hurts. It really does, but I did this on myself. I need to deal with this mess I made, and make up my mind.

———

Namjoon:
- why aren't you answering my texts?? 2:35 pm
- do you wanna talk now? 2:50 pm
- answer me goddamit 2:51 pm
- where are you? 2:54 pm
- baby I'm sorry 2:55 pm
- answer me please 2:56 pm
- babyyy 2:56 pm
- hello??????? 2:57 pm
- I hate it when you ignore me like his Y/n 2:58 pm
- stop ignoring me and let's talk about this damn I don't want to lose you again Y/n 2:59 pm

Me:
3:01 pm leave me alone -
3:03 pm not in the mood to talk to you -

———

Jungkook:
- hey 3:03 pm

Me:
3:04 pm ??-
3:04 pm yes Jungkook?-

Jungkook:
- I miss you 3:05 pm
- I know you'll probably ignore me again 3:06 pm
- but I just wanted to let you know I miss you 3:07 pm

Me:
3:09 pm me too -