An Everlasting Curse

The King Who Lives on Borrowed Time

Ever since times of old tales have been told, tales of a king who lives in his castle and never sees the light of day. Since I was a child I've always wondered if these stories were true, could someone truly stay inside that long? My mother would always tell me this tale at bedtime, it was one of my favorites. Sadly, my mother passed away when I was 12. As years passed by I slowly started my journey from village to village just to find that king. I wanted to prove to myself that the story was true, no matter what the cost.

Of course my travels were met with the road blocks that are others, but I am a kind soul so I helped everyone I could while being in their village. I was always a kind and caring soul, giving to others and putting even my personal feelings behind me in order to ensure the well being of those whom have suffered more than I. The actions I displayed also started up talk around the kingdoms. I was known as "The kind traveler with a heart of gold." This truly made me feel like my journey was worth the effort.

My travels soon started to grow worrisome and dull. The hopes that I would find this "King" were growing ever smaller by the day, but I just knew I couldn't give up. I rode over to the next town to rest up and continue my journey in the morning. Since the townsfolk have already heard of me they treated me like royalty even though I was just an equal to them in status. This treatment made me feel wonderful, I was finally viewed as a person instead of feeling invisible. Soon after all the festivities and the treats the townsfolk gave me I went into my chambers and got ready to rest.

I shut my eyes and fell asleep, not soon after I started to dream. In my dream I was in a great castle with tall beautiful marble walls and statues with gold jewelry as far as the eye could see. The air was cold but sehow rinsed me of home. A bright red carpet was rolled out in the center of the floor, stretched as far as the eye could see. Wanting to uncover more of what seemed to be a dream, I wondered around, being entranced in the beauty laid before my eyes. Was this a premenition? Did I succeed in finding the fabled castle? Curiosity getting the better of me, Eventually I found my way to the king's quarters.

To my surprise the king himself was a man who looked not too much older than myself. He looked to be about 40 at most. He was tall, had dark hair with grey sprinkled in, was dressed like all royalty, had his crown on and even wore a cape to go with it. When I walked into the room he was staring at the window, he was staring out at the start night sky. Making as little sound as possible, I went to get a better look at his face. Once I got close enough I could see his expression, he looked....sad, as if he had lost someone or some thing important long ago.

There was this feeling of sympathy I shared with him. Although he didn't know I was there it still felt like he and I weren't too dissimilar. My moment of sympathy soon got cut short when what I assume to be the king's servant walked in.

"My lord" said the servant while bowed on one knee.

"Ah, Phoe. What brings you to my chambers once again?" Asked the king in a somber tone.

"I just wanted to check in and see if you needed any assistance" Phoe responded.

"Not entirely, I've seem to have grown fond of being alone inside these walls." Said the king.

"Well, how are you feeling my lord?" Phoe asked.

"If we're being Frank here, I feel lost." Responded the king.

"Lost in what way?" Phoe asked with a curious tone.

"Lost in the way that I no longer know or feel happiness in this life. No matter how many kingdoms I conquer or how many citizens I win over, none of it does anything for me anymore. There isn't an instance where I feel the freedom to do as I please, so I just stand here....staring out the glass onto a world and am left to my own thoughts. These thoughts have plagued my mind, they spread like a disease and worsen by the day. You see, there was a time where I was like you dear Phoe, a proud and bright eyed man who helped others and despite having problems of my own. I used to feel good knowing that just my existence could make a difference on this world, but now it all seems so.....meaningless. I now live in a state of mind where I care not for life or death. For what is there to care about when, you see, I am here on borrowed time. This life was never mine, and yet here I stand before you. Now all that is left of me is just a husky trapped inside his own mind to suffer and deal with pain far beyond physical. That is why I am lost. I lost who I used to be and became a man who, when he looks at his reflection, hates what he's become. But as we know there is no cure for this, there is no helping this disease or state of mind.....there is only suffering until the end of time." The King responded, sounding more saddened as he explained further.

"Well my lord, I need you to know that I'm here and I promise to never leave your side." Phoe said whilst holding back tears.

"You needn't worry about me my dear Phoe, just carry on your duties as usual. We'll meet tomorrow to decide what to do with the kingdom." Said the king.

"Okay my lord, have a blessed night" Phone said while getting up and leaving the king's chambers.

After that I just stood there thinking of things to say, I was lost for words. The King slowly moved away from the window and went to his night stand, he Bagan searching for something. At that moment I finally had found something to say but when I opened my mouth to speak no sound came from it at all. I was shocked, this is a dream right? So why am I not able to speak? I kept trying my hardest but to no avail.

It was then the king found what he was looking for, after that he sat on his bed staring at something in his hand. I walked over to get a closer look, soon my heart sank at what I saw. The King was holding a dagger, it was one of the sharpest I've ever seen with it's hilt forged from gold with a sapphire stone on the bottom of it.

The King then got up and walked back over to the window dagger still in hand. Fear soon started to run it's course through my body. What was he planning to do? Is his mind so far gone that he's considering taking his own life? I couldn't just stand as a viewer of this and let it happen, I began to panic as I tried to get his attention. If I couldn't speak then I could surely write but the ink never went onto the paper, I was trapped as I see a king who isn't happy with his own life. It was then, suddenly, the king spoke as if he knew he wasn't alone.

"There's no use fighting it. I know you're there, you've heard me repeat the same story over and over again for years. It always ends the same, so why try harder each time to change it? You may be wondering, how do you know I'm here? It's because you always are. You were always that voice of reason in my head that kept me hopeful in life but now look at you. No, look at us. All those stories we were told as a kid by our mother were fabrications, she wanted to keep us hopeful in the world by telling us about a king who lives away from all. That king, he, is both you and I. We are the one who sits in his castle alone, not seeing the light of day. We are the king that cares not if he lives or dies. We are the king who lives off of borrowed time. What do I mean by borrowed time? I mean this moment, no matter how hard either of us tries, we both fail. I end my life and you are sent back to being a child and growing up all over again with no recollection of what happens. Each time you're sent back so am I, to an endless eternity of suffering and pain. My time is borrowed off of yours, we are one in the same, but from vastly different points in time, and yet we find ourselves in a paradox. I want this to end, and I know this is the answer, but maybe, just maybe, this time will be different." The King then slowly started to raise the dagger.

"This is all for the better" the king said.

I started running towards him in order to stop my future self from doing this, but then the dagger came down and into our heart. I felt a stinging pain and woke up with a jump.

I have no recollection of the events that happened during the night, all I know is this pain in my chest. I rose up from my bed, changed my clothes, and walked out of my chambers. I feel very strange from how I've felt before but I carried on as usual. I walked over to my window and stared out at the sun rising. It was a beautiful sight, but possibly one of the last I'll ever see. I glance over to my dagger on the night stand and walk over to pick it up. Staring at the blade I wondered, "What truly is the meaning of life?" Does living mean to suffer as I do every day? Does it mean to know that you are only mortal and will die eventually either way? Or does the very thing that gives life meaning death itself? I believe it is death thay gives meaning to life and since I'm living a life that is not my own then death is better suited for me. Breathing out a huge sigh I put the dagger away. I don't want to live much longer but ironically I don't want to die just yet. Maybe a few years longer, maybe a few days, or even months. However long it may be I'll just keep myself in these walls. Because who am I to live a life worth living, if I am just a King Who Lives On Borrowed Time.................