Alastor 'Mad-Eye' Moody: "__" Would Include...

Being Married to Alastor Moody

● Learning how to duel like a pro. Guess who gets world-class dueling lessons from a renowned ex-auror? You! Admittedly, he'd struggle with finding the right mix of husband and ruthless tutor. He loves you so much, making him take the task of training you very seriously. Needless to say, he'd be hard on you—possibly to the point of tears. The moment he sees them, however, he'd storm across the room, hauling you into his arms for a fierce hug. If you feel like throwing around a few slaps, he'll endure them, all the while telling you how sorry he is. Damn it, he'd never been good at soft emotions. It was one of the reasons he knew you deserved someone better than him.

Still, once you'd progressed to a level where you can defend yourself, he'd glow with pride. (Since he's a good teacher, you'd eventually be able to disarm him.)

● Learning how to fight like a muggle. Just because you have magic doesn't mean you're above a few punches. While Alastor prefers to fight cleanly, he'll have no trouble teaching you where to hit, kick, and scratch.

● Your own wand holster. Words cannot express how proud he'd be of you. Grinning at your shocked expression, he'd insist you use the custom holster he'd made. "Alastor, I feel silly. I don't even need this!" Nonsense. You're a skilled fighter now—you deserve a proper holster.

● He'd like to spoil you every now and then. Even with magic, you have no idea how he manages to do certain things. He's also incredibly perceptive. If you're walking together and something catches your eye in a nearby shop window, he'll notice. Birthday coming up? Don't be surprised to find the item you'd secretly admired.

If you ever worry about cost, he'll shake his head with a laugh. He's from House Moody, a pureblood family. Being the last of his house, he'd have wealth hidden away.

● He'd look forward to the future, thinking less about the past. Alastor is often consumed with the horrors he's seen throughout his life. And why wouldn't he be? Unmarried, the last of his line, he's never had the luxury of dreaming about the future. You'd suddenly become a prominent adornment within his mind. He'd find himself making little plans. Your birthday's coming up? Well, he can't just get you any old gift. (Note: Constant vigilance...he's going to find a way to turn your gift into a self-defense aid.)

● He'd be ashamed of his scars—mental and physical. This man has endured a lot. I'm talking about the effects of decades-worth of trauma. Considering his level of paranoia and PTSD, nightmares are likely a reoccurring issue—no doubt feeding the fire of paranoia by adding undue stress. Being the man he is, however, Alastor would be unwilling to dull his senses with a sleeping potion. All it takes is one person to discover the routine, and he'd be attacked in his sleep. Any time he wakes you up during a nightmare, he'd be filled with self-condemnation.

● He'd laugh again. So we know he can laugh, and the man definitely has a sense of humor hidden beneath the layers of macho-auror. After the events of the Goblet of Fire, though, Alastor would have a difficult time recovering. Not only would his self-esteem drop (after all, how would you feel if no one realized there'd been an imposter?), but he'd likely developed claustrophobia during his imprisonment. Once you come into his life, however, he'd feel...stronger. The way you looked at him like he's a mighty hero... Maybe you saw something he couldn't.

Note: A major factor is also that you'd be able to tell when he's reliving painful memories. Loving you as he does, it'd be quite easy to draw him into a banter-filled conversation. (Just having someone who knows him enough to know how to help makes a massive difference.)

● Surprising amounts of physical affection. Alastor's the first to admit that he's not the best with words. Poetry? How about a warm kiss as he cradles your cheek, his calloused thumb stroking your soft skin? Whenever he finds you pouring over a strenuous task, he'll always come to stand behind you, hands expertly massaging away the tension in your hunched shoulders. He won't be satisfied until you moan in relaxed bliss.

● Letting you pull his hand into your lap so you can fiddle with his fingers. Order meetings can be quite tedious–what with the constant arguments. Feeling you toy with his hand will have him fighting a grin. Thumb wars are a common occurrence.

● Taking advantage of his magical eye. Being able to see through your clothing takes foreplay to another level. Decide to go bare beneath your clothes? How about lingerie? Sex toys such as cock rings and dildos? Imagine watching him swallow at the tempting sight. How long can he last before finally snapping–excusing you both as he drags you upstairs? (Warning: He will tear open your clothing. Luckily, he knows a spell to repair it afterward.)