Hello Darkness, I Am Home (New Years Day & Motionless In White)

Chapter 1: I Just Wanna Know~

"Danger!

You'll never make it out alive

You know I'm so dramatic

And it's quite the habit

You know I won't let go!

Danger! (danger!)

You know you'll never stand a chance

I tried to warn you

Like the ones before you

You know I won't let go!"

Ash Costello sang as my alarm for school, went off. I groaned and said "As much as I love your voice Ash, shut the hell up and let me sleep." She ignored me and continued singing.

"I've been burned here once or twice

Revenge always makes it better

I'm bored and your just a fix

A heart to throw in the ditch

With all the hearts that I've stolen before.

This is just entertainment

With a mind so sick and twisted

Depraved sadistic torture

It's like you'll never even see this coming

Heaven isn't ready lets raise hell (lets raise hell)"

I groaned and said "Alright, alright! I'm up! Jesus Christ!" I sat up and turned the alarm off. I sighed and dropped my head back on my pillows. Ughhh I don't wanna go to schooool! What the fuck is school supposed to teach you, anyways? It's just bad food, dumbfuck teachers, tons of homework, and assholes. Not my idea of fun. But I knew if I didn't get up, my foster mom will come and bitch at me, or throw cold water at me. I sighed and set my phone down. No use going back to sleep, now.

I swung my legs over and got up, padding over to my closet to find an outfit for today. Now in case you haven't read my story a couple pages ago, I'm not some preppy bitch who loves being "pretty in pink" All my clothes are either black, or are just dark. After deliberating with myself, I picked out a pair of ripped black skinny jeans, a black tank top with a white upside down cross, black Vans, and a Motionless In White jacket...I like the color Black. It can go with pretty much, anything. And it's not like I'm dressing up for everyone at school, I just really don't give a flying fuck. If they don't like me, then leave me the fuck alone, seriously. If you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all. It's not that hard.

I bundled my clothes up, grabbed my phone, and walked into my bathroom, closing and locking the door behind me. It's a good thing my bathroom is adjoined with my bedroom, cause I don't wanna deal with my "family". Those dumbfuck assholes, never gave two shits about me. If they don't like me, then why did they take me in? I've been asking that question for years, but never once got an answer. I set my clothes down on the counter and plugged my phone into my speakers. I always listen to music when I shower...Well I listen music all the time, so it doesn't make any difference. I cannot go a single day without listening to at least, one song. Music is the only thing keeping me alive right now along with Chris Motionless, and Ash Costello. Why can't they be my parents instead of my foster parents, Todd and Michelle? At least Chris and Ash would actually care about me.

I turned on the shower and stripped down to my underwear, scrolling through my playlist until I saw the song that started it all. Hello Darkness, by New Years Day. This was the song that started my obsession with music. The first time I heard it, it was just so beautiful and it actually brought me to tears...This song saved me. And I am eternally grateful for Ashley Costello. I smiled and pressed play. After stripping down completely, I stepped into the warm water, just as Ash was about to start singing. I closed my eyes and started singing.

"The sun will rise a thousand times

It burns my eyes

It makes me cry..."

This song always makes me think and wonder who my real parents were. I wanted to know why they gave me up to a family that has never even been there for me. Whenever I got hurt, no one was there for me, no one cried, no one cared. Why did they do this? Do they hate me? Will I ever get to meet them? Hell, I don't even know their names!

"And in my mind my thoughts unwind

On and on and on

I loved you, I hate you, goodbye..."

Every time I asked Michelle about my real parents, she's always yell at me and would say the same thing she's said, since I was little. "You don't need to know who they are, because they hate you! They don't care if you were alive or dead, so stop bringing it up!"

"One more moon to fall into

I'm black and blue

And in this room I create my rules

Over and over again

I loved you, I hate you."

Doesn't she know how much that hurts? Saying that the people who gave you life, hate you and wouldn't care if you were dead? I hate that woman. I hate her so much, it's not even funny. When other people see her, she's all smiled and dimples, but I know how she really is, she can't bullshit me. Cause I'm not stupid.

"Everybody's unaware

Tonight I'm taking down all the walls but I'm not scared

I'm coming home (I'm coming home)

I'm coming home (I'm coming home)."

I washed my body with soap and worked shampoo and conditioner into my hair. There's not a day that goes by, where I don't think of them. And why they let me go.

Should I hate them?

I guess only time will tell.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

(A/N: Hey guys, sorry if it's short, it's almost 2 in the morning where I'm at right now, so I'm gonna post this chapter, and go to sleep. Goodnight my loves. Hope you enjoy this chapter <3.

-Holly <3 <3.