The Internal Struggle [COMPLETED]

Chapter 22 | The Akram's

Safia's POV

Rayhan and I had been talking a lot recently about everything. I didn't really know how to feel about anything. Rayhan had stopped trying to convince me but I still didn't know how to feel about everything.

The phone was ringing. It was Rayhan. I picked up and immediately I sensed something was wrong. His voice seemed off. My mind went into overdrive. Had something happened? Had Rayhan told someone? I took a deep breath as Rayhan started speaking.

"Have you spoken to anyone else since yesterday?"

"...No." I was getting more and more worried by the second. There was a long pause before Rayhan spoke again.

"Danish got diagnosed with Huntington's disease."

Huntington's disease. How was that possible? Danish? I must have heard wrong.

"What?" Rayhan sighed and repeated himself.

No, this wasn't possible. Huntington's disease. Danish? No. That couldn't be true. Danish was such a healthy person. This didn't make sense. And then it hit me. What Huntington's disease was.

"Huntington's disease is genetic. Isn't it?"

There was silence on the end of the phone. My lips started to tremble, here I was thinking all about me when Danish was going through this. The phone beeped as Rayhan cut the call. A single tear dropped from my eye. How was this possible? I grew up with these people. They couldn't just go. I couldn't even do anything. I couldn't even help him. I rubbed my eyes and wiped my tears away. I opened up my laptop and typed into google 'Huntington's disease'. I clicked on the first link. Tears started to well up in my eyes as I read more and more about the symptoms. Danish didn't deserve any of this. This couldn't be what would happen to Danish. I knew him. This happened to other people, not to my family. You heard stories about these things. I couldn't even begin to imagine what Danish would be going through right now?

I turned off the laptop and scrolled down my contacts. I clicked on Danish. The phone rang and went straight to voicemail. I didn't even know what I would say to him. I felt like I had been the cause of the distance that now existed between my family. When I had first come to university they always used to call or text me. But as time passed everyone just faded into the background.

I sighed. At least it was Friday. I could book a train ticket as soon as I finished this lecture. And then could go to see Danish. I pulled on a jacket and walked out the front door. I was so lost in my own thoughts that I didn't even notice a hand on my shoulder. I turned around to face Daniel.

"I see you're actually bothering to turn up on time. Great effort."

I didn't really understand Daniel. I had spoken to him a few times since our encounter in the lecture theatre. I had never met a guy like him, but I didn't know if that was a good thing or a bad thing yet. He wasn't loud. He listened to what I had to say. He smiled. Like a lot. I didn't really know him but it felt nice to be around him. Out of the blue, a random thought popped in my head and before I could stop myself I blurted it out.

"Why did you become a Muslim? I mean, I'm assuming your parents weren't. If you don't mind me asking."

"It's a long story. The reason behind you asking is?" He looked over at me. I avoided eye contact with him. I didn't really know why I was asking. I just wanted to know. I simply shrugged my shoulders.

"So, can I ask you a question then?" I turned towards to him and nodded my head. He continued.

"Why did you leave Islam?"

I stopped in my footsteps. How on earth did he know that? I hadn't even mentioned it to him. And I hadn't been planning to.

"Oh come on, it's pretty obvious."

Was it? From what exactly?

"So you going to tell me then? Why you left?"

"I just didn't agree with some of the rules. I felt like I was being restricted too much. Like I want to live my life. Not have to abide by rules."

"So you think society shouldn't have rules?"

I paused.

"No...I didn't say that. That's not what I meant. Like I meant like in terms of what I can wear and what I can do. My problem is the fact that these guidelines exist. Like why must I be covered?" I was getting more and more frustrated by the minute.

"It's to protect you." He answered simply.

"Protect me. Why can't men just not act like filthy animals?"

"You know men aren't all like that. Some women can be lying cheating bitches too, with all their emotionally manipulation. Only Allah (سبحانه وتعلي) knows what goes on in your heads." I had never heard him swear before. His voice sounded bitter.

Wow. Emotionally manipulative. That's what he thought of women.

"So why do women have to be covered? Men should just learn to control themselves."

"They should. But women are not all innocent and perfect. And not all men are evil. Your logic is flawed. You're one of those feminists that think men don't deserve rights and women should be at the top. Well, newsflash; that's not equality"

Ugh, this guy was so frustrating. I wanted to punch him. He went silent. And we continued walking on without saying anything. I didn't really know what to say to him and I assumed he thought the same of me.