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Why I'm Failing School (Real Quotes from My Recent Essays)

The prompt was to write an essay, but write it the same way that you talk normally, about your personal values/beliefs. Highkey a mistake.

Draft One Highlights:

'My beliefs are Pretty. Odd. to be honest.

If you looked into my mind, you'd be surprised with how much stupidity I can fit in there; most of my core beliefs are related to my ships, emo bands, a-spec things, and basically nothing of any use whatsoever.

For example: Various things about Ryden (Ryan Ross x Brendon Urie). Do I believe that Ryan Ross fucked up by leaving Panic! At the Disco? Absolutely, and it lowkey makes me smug that Brendon got way the fuck more successful. Do I believe whatever happened in Cape Town in 2009 is important? Damn straight. Are these beliefs in any way relevant to anything this is meant to be about? No, but that ain't stopping me, now is it?

Exactly.

While I could write an entire essay on my ships, comparing Ryden and Brallon (Brendon Urie x Dallon Weekes), analysing Frerard, and like one non-emo ship so I don't scare away normal people (ew), I won't (right now). I'll get back to you on that one, because my main source for shipping information is blocked and I don't believe in fucking up with things like shipping. As all my family members know, I am always right when it comes to ships. (My father deeply regretted asking me what the milk fic is, amongst other things.)'

'wOW I need to get a goddamn life.'

'People like my family piss me off because they genuinely think they're good people. My father exemplifies everything that makes me uncomfortable; his trying to defend himself and say he isn't racist is just brutal to watch.'

'Recently, my father said My Chemical Romance sucks. I asked him to explain why, but he refused to answer past 'Their music is trash,' which, by the way, in an invalid point because he likes their music. So I was stuck, right? I couldn't really prove any of his points wrong because he didn't fucking have any. So instead of going by specifics, I had to explain why My Chemical Romance shouldn't be hated.'

'Look, I'm suicidal; we all know that. But I'm still here, largely because I'm not a frigging coward. "I am not afraid to keep on living/ I am not afraid to walk this world alone."

[That last paragraph caused my school to email my parents lmao.]

There's no such thing as a stupid reason not to commit suicide, okay? Fucking fight me.'

'Moral of the story: Don't call a band trash if you don't know anything about them. Also, all my heroes are my heroes because of legitimate reasons.'

'And the God said, "Listen up, motherfuckers."'

'... it was a mega oof.'

'... because my father is a disgusting pig...'

'Um, I value... and... I learned a lot thanks to them. Some might say too much (they would be frigging right but shut the hell up).'

Yes. Those are actual quotes from my essay. My teacher said I needed it to be more focused to one topic, so here's my second draft: