𝚒 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞

Ch. 1 ♡

Fuck. Fuck!

River Price is back in Leavenworth, Washington- back here to spend the whole summer, possible together. Meaning that I- Monique- was going to have to talk to her- River Price.

Why am I freaking out you might ask?

River Price is an angel sent from above. She and I first met in preschool, our friendship went on until middle school before moved to Florida- I learned to become her friend after she started to follow me around the school playground.

Anyways, River was more to a friend in my eyes. When I was in my middle school- 6th grade-my period started and the hormones were uncontrollable since I was becoming a woman- stuff like that. However, ever since I was little, I knew there was a part of me that liked girls. Boys were annoying, gross, kinda ugly to me- they were also sensitive if you didn't wanna touch them and that's true for ALL ages.

But I didn't know I officially liked girls until I saw how beautiful and amazing River truly was- inside and out. We spent almost every day together and I never got sick of her like I did with Danielle, bonded and talked about the sides of us we never could reveal, and I was always happy to see her- a feeling that someone "in love" would only feel.

Of course I never confessed to her, not only was she my best friend but I wasn't sure if she liked girls too. I came out to my family only- they were all supportive and understanding, my mom even said "I knew it" - but River dated this guy in middle school and kissed him. It wasn't serious at all, but that did confirm to me that she liked men.

She moved away after 8th grade and we never kept in contact. There wasn't any social media she had and her phone number changed- I wasn't the type to keep the friendship up either. Deep down, I didn't want to talk to her just so I could get over my feelings. Obviously that didn't work because I was here, contemplating life and what to do for tomorrow.

I guess the only other person who knew about my feelings for River was my mom, except instead of using Rivera's name I just said "Diana" to mask her identity. There was no way in hell I was going to let my mother know that I was in love with my childhood best friend.

"Goodness," I said to myself and rubbed my face- River is actually back in town. The last time I saw her, she wasn't about a foot shorter than me. Her freckles were noticeable around her face and her hair was wavy and short, her bright neon green braces was a feature that everyone looked at. Now we're high school graduates, I wonder if she looked different?

"Monique," My little brother, Javier, bursted into my room with his phone in his hand, "Mom said to eat now."

"Yeah," which was another way of saying I'll go down later. I flipped over onto my stomach and buried my face into the pillow, my appetite was lost and there was a feeling of fatigue that took over.

_____

Skipping dinner last night was a bad choice because I woke up at around 9AM with my stomach eating my stomach.

"You're up early?" My mom questioned as she was preparing her lunch for work, "are you okay?"

"I slept early last night," I answered and poured myself some cereal and almond milk, "what time is dinner tonight with the Price family?"

"After I get back from work at 6- please be ready and oh," She pulled out a list and handed it to me, "these are gifts for them. Can you please stop by the shopping mall? My card's upstairs or ask Dad- I gotta go," she kissed my cheek and left.

Gift cards, candles, and paints

I guess these were gifts for River and her parents. Her mom collects candles as a hobby and I remember her dad would only ask for gift cards for gifts. She would love painting and drawing during class and after school- I guess I could buy her some oil pants and new canvases, pretty sure she didn't bring any with her.

After finishing my breakfast, Javier joined me in my mini shopping spree. I made sure to buy the cheapest ones because it wasn't my card and paying $20 for one candle was unreasonable.

River liked small canvases because she didn't know how to maximize her drawings, hopefully she improved over the four years. We bought some Chipotle for lunch and headed home to eat.

"I wish she had a brother," Javier complained as he opened his bowl, "all of my friends are out of town and I'm bored."

"Sorry kid," I shrugged my shoulders, "maybe make new friends when summer school starts?"

"Gross," He moved into the living room to watch some Netflix as he ate.

It was only 2PM, but the fact that it was getting closer to 6 was starting to make me anxious, even if I did want to meet River, what the hell are we going to talk about? We were basically going to meet each other again as strangers, when you're a kid you start spilling random shit about your life and everyone would comply because they were also spilling random shit- now we're conscious.

After finishing my burrito bowl I just sat down and called my friends into a FaceTime chat, hoping that they weren't busy.

"Hey!" Jamie answered first followed by Dani and Scarlett.

"Do you guys remember River Price?" I asked them, "short wavy hair, braces, freckles, pale and short. We hung out all the time in middle school."

"Yeah I remember her," Jamie answered, "she was my math partner for all three years."

"I would see you guys at lunch and that's it," Dani titled her head, "why?"

Scarlett stayed silent, she wasn't here for elementary or middle school, but she stayed in the conversation anyways.

"Her family is coming to visit for the whole Summer and I'm seeing her tonight," I looked at the clock, "as in two hours tonight!"

"Okay, what about that?" Jamie furrowed her eyebrows.

"What do you mean- what about that?" I mocked, "I haven't talked to her in YEARS. What the hell do I say? How do I act?"

"Act like yourself," Scarlett said, "you don't have to worry or stress. If you do that then you overthink and mess up everything- so don't."

"And it's River Price-" Dani added, "if she hasn't changed, I'm sure she's the sweetest girl ever. I think- let's knock on wood," she knocked on her dresser.

I leaned back into my chair, "I- I can't. If I don't talk to her at all would that be weird?"

"Yes!" Jamie exclaimed, "Monique you're so extroverted! Why are you being like this?"

I'm meeting my old childhood crush.

"Honestly, I don't know."

"She's meeting a childhood friend that's what," Scarlett answered for me, "you'll be fine, Monique. If anything go visit her beforehand and talk to her- break the ice now."

"No," I shook my head, "I'll improvise. I just wanted to tell you guys for a heads up."

"Let's all hang out with her soon!" Dani chirped, "it'll be fun to see how much she's changed."

"Ahah- goodbye now," I ended the call before they spurted out new ideas that enhanced my social anxiety.

"Monique!"

"What?" I yelled back my brother who called my name. A few seconds later he didn't respond so I asked, "WHAT?" He didn't reply again, I rushed downstairs with my fists already clenched up.

"Javi-"

I gasped as I saw a person at the door. Immediately, I recognized who it was- those orange brown eyes already gave the identity away.

"Hey best friend," River winked at me, "do you remember me?"