Virtual Love (Part 1)

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Kirigaya Kazuto

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(Y/n) - your name

(h/l) hair length

(h/c) - hair colour

(e/c) - eye colour

(s/c) - skin colour

Huddled in the dark corner, tears falling down one after the other. Falling like a free-falling waterfall. You bring your knees closer to your chest, feeling insignificant, unimportant. You cover your ears, trying to block out the anger and sadness. Your heart breaking and crumbling into a million pieces. Your parents fighting again, throwing insults at one another. The insults get directed at you. You being useless, stupid, fat, ugly, shameless, waste of space, trash. You whimper when you hear something shatter against the wall outside your bedroom. You scramble up and struggle to block your door with anything you could find. Backing away, you head to your bed, picking up the NerveGear. You look at your phone and notice it's 12:59. You quickly put the machine over your head and lie down. Closing your eyes, a single and final tear rolling down your cheek, you shout out.

"Link Start!"

That was two years ago. Two years since this virtual game became reality from Akihiko Kayaba's announcement. You die in Sword Art Online, you die in the real world. You weren't afraid then, you weren't scared, nor happy. You didn't care. It made no difference in your opinion from the discussion of death. You thought you would've been better off dead anyway. Like everyone else, you leveled up, to stay alive, not knowing why. You became a well known high leveled swordswoman, Black Death. Your dark aura was felt by everyone and you left death at every boss room, not a single mob alive in your wake. Despite the darkness that surrounded you, you somehow made a friend. Your first friend, Kirito. You were surprised when he wanted to become your friend. After helping him before he got a critical hit from an unsuspecting mob, he never left your side. Even then, your mood never changed. You would cry yourself to sleep, not knowing why and you wouldn't smile or laugh. The ice around your heart never cracked but thickened even more in time.

During those two years, you made many more friends. Asuna, another amazing swordswoman who was in the guild, Knights Of The Blood Oath, Silica, a childish and very optimistic girl with her pet, Pina, Liz, an amazing blacksmith and a hardheaded girl and Klien, another amazing swordsman and a flirty guy. Spending your days with them somehow melted the ice around your heart. You didn't know why, but you loved them. Loved them like an actual family. You didn't want them to die, didn't want them to disappear. You swore to your self that you would do anything to keep them alive, even if it meant for you to be dead.

In this family that you held dear to your heart, a certain boy held all of your love, held your heart in his hand. You felt love for the boy who you first saved. You loved his amazing sword skills, his quirkiness, his sense of adventure, his eyes that held kindness, his love of food, the way he was protective of everyone around him and the fact that he was terrible at complimenting a girl. Most of all, you loved his smile that held hope. You loved this boy, even though you thought it was impossible. Felt love for the first time in your dark life. He helped you make your heart beat once more, helped you smile for the first time, helped you laugh, helped you enjoy life and helped you to love yourself. You loved this boy. You loved Kirito.

Though, you knew this newfound happiness wouldn't last. Your heart broke and darkened when you found out about the newlyweds. Kirito and Asuna. You felt broken all over again, felt betrayed, lonely. Though you loved Kirito, you never once tried to interfere with their relationship. You started ignoring those two, didn't want the tears to come out over and over again when you saw them together. Eventually, you turned back to your old self. You tried to stay happy but eventually started to drift away from the rest of your group. You felt unimportant, unworthy of being happy. You felt like a huge burden on your friends, that you were troubling them. So you stayed away, stayed a long lost memory. You thought that no one would notice if you left. Thought that it would be better for your family if you left. Thought that they would survive longer without you if you left. So you did.

But a certain person did notice. When you first saved him, Kirito, he was amazed at your skills, even surpassing him in his levels. He knew who you were, knew the stories behind your name, Black Death. Unknowing of his heart, he wanted to become closer to you. At first, Kirito wanted to learn new skills from you but that soon changed when he felt sadness emanating from you. Kirito never did see you once smile, laugh or even acknowledge him. He wanted to change that. He wanted to help you, especially when he heard you cry every night. His heart broke, not even knowing why. It made him upset when he couldn't make you smile. He felt helpless for once. He was scared you would disappear from him every time you fought against the mobs. Kirito felt the urge to know more about you, to know about your past, your likes and dislikes.

As time went by, Kirito almost gave up, but when he introduced you to his other friends, he felt a spark when you smiled after a long time. He wanted to keep that smile on your face. Wanted that spark in your eyes to stay alight. Kirito himself felt happy that you were happy yourself. Kirito eventually asked you about your past. For the first time ever, Kirito never wanted to leave your side. He never wanted to let you go. Kirito cried himself when you cried yourself to sleep in his arms. He wanted to take that pain away. Wanted it to stay far away. Every day, Kirito did little things to keep that smile on your face. Bringing you flowers, chocolates. Little pieces of jewelry and going out for walks under the stars.

He tried his best but his best wasn't enough. Asuna had fallen in love with Kirito and Kirito had later fallen in love with her. But it felt wrong when he saw the pain-stricken expression on your face. He wanted to run after you, wanted to say he was an idiot to do this. But he never did. He watched as you drifted away like before, stayed quiet and started to smile less. He watched with a broken heart when that spark in your eyes finally distinguished and you left without a trace. No one knew where you were, it was like you disappeared straight off from the face of the earth. He wished that he stopped you that day, wished that he never made that mistake. He wished you never left.

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