Infatuated with perfection (obsessed with perfection sequel)

Chapter 1

2 years 3 months 5 days 9 hours later

Danielle 

It's been approximately 2 years, 7 months, 5 days, 9 hours, 22,23,21 20, seconds since I last laid my eyes upon the inevitable Liam. But who's counting? Part of me wished the plane crashed on my way back so he would have no choice to come back. The number of times that I have thought about harming myself just to get him to come back to me has been unhealthy. Here I am almost 3 years later and the nightmares won't stop. The screaming in my sleep won't stop. Shit, here I am finally understanding why Bella traumatically screamed in the middle of the night in that fucking Twighlight series. The night terrors. The smell of blood, the sound of bullets will forever be engraved in my memory. Not much has changed with me here I am 9 days shy of my 21st birthday and I still live at home with my mother and stepdad. I have been told that I am not responsible enough to live on my own. Granted, I was on suicide watch for 2 months.  I haven't spoken to Dylan in 2 years, the day of our high school graduation to be exact.  My exact words to him were "Congratulations Dylan, I never want to see or speak to you ever again. A tiny fraction of me really meant that, and this other part of me did not. He treated me as a child like he was my father! An obsessive parent would be the word for it.  Mom frowns about the entire situation and says he was just being a protective brother. Nik says he just wants what's best for me. I say he gives me the obsessive control freak that ends up being a serial killer..... but that part stays embedded in my mind. My therapist says our sibling relationship was not healthy and I completely agree with him. My therapist has actually become my best friend. He actually listens to all of my problems; then again he gets paid to listen to me. I have told him just about everything that went on in my regarding Liam, you know outside of the illegal things along with Aidan. Obviously, if I told my therapist the full story I would probably be locked up for unintentional manslaughter or for being affiliated with drug dealers.  I just tell him little things about the toxic side of those relationships.  Speaking of relationships I don't have any of those, my only one true friend was Charlie. God, I would kill just to have a conversation with him. To see that big smile and hear that infectious laugh. Charlie. I can never say his name without damn near having a panic attack. After all, his family now blames me for his death after learning a couple of things about Liam. So here I am almost 3 years later. Little did I know my past was going to come back to haunt me... to kill me.