dice has been pregnant for 9 months with his husband gentaro as the father i hope. "hey, gentaro, my husband of three hours, how did you get me pregnant again?" gentaro was eating pencil lead and drinking ink for his mukbang channel but had to stop to answer. he would like to eat his meal in peace. "i dont know." he went back to filming his sad life and dice tried to throw a remote but he is just so pregnant and it didn't get very far. "okay then, whore. ....im sorry i called you a whore can you give me the tv remote back?" gentaro turned the camera off and thus gave up trying to make them more money than what they have. "dice, i love you. i really do love you but you need to stop being so lazy." gentaro said, looking at dice trying to get out of the chair he was in. after this was said dice stopped trying and stared at gentaro. how dare he call him lazy, he is pregnant with his child and this is how he's being treated? disgusting. "i love you too, but i am the one that's going to give birth to this thi- i mean our lovely child and i don't appreciate it when you call me lazy. especially since i could give birth at anyt-" his water just broke and it looks like he peed his pants.
dice was giving birth and i sadly don't know what the terms for birth are because i never learned them and i don't plan on ever learning them but the baby is coming out of dice's asshole so i guess it doesn't matter.
the entire time the kid was coming out of dice he was slamming his right hand on a counter next to him and the other was cutting circulation off to gentaro's hand. he tried his best not yell or anything but because of that he was groaning a lot and maybe dug his nails into gentaros skin who knows.
gentaro during this entire time was looking out the small window in the door because he didn't want to see a child come out of his husband of 4 hours' ass. at least he was doing something unlike my own dad.
after all of that giving birth stuff happened dice was holding his newborn in his arms. boy oh boy was it a baby. it had arms and legs and a mouth and other things a normal baby should have. he looked at gentaro and he was in some deep thought, probably about vaccines. ick.
"gentaro, the light of my life, what are you thinking about? it better not be you know what." the thought of giving children vaccines made him scrunch up his nose. vaccines are the devils work and they can cause death faster than anything else. "well, you may not like it, but i think we should vaccina-" gentaro was cut off by dice convulsing and shouting some weird shit with the baby still in his arms. of course a good father would take the baby away and give it to one of the nurses so it wouldn't be around bad energy and not be harmed so that is Exactly what he did. "you think im letting our child's immune system get ready for war? do you realize there are drugs in those vile things?" gentaro was dumbfounded at what this dumb fuck was saying. "yes, i realize there are drugs in vaccines that's what they are. that's what medicine is. also it's not preparing it for war. it's so our kid can be healthy and immune to diseases like the flu. that's the reason why it's called the immune system."
this just pissed dice off so much he got out of the hospital bed and started attacking gentaro, pulling his hair and biting his arm like he's an actual wild animal. as gentaro was trying to get dice off of him they knocked over some equipment in their struggle. maybe they accidentally killed someone because they heard a heart monitor go flat but kept going. nurses and doctors came in the room to get them off of each other but dice at this point basically animorphed into a feral cat and wouldn't let go.
"DICE, LET GO OF ME I WON'T LET OUR KID GET VACCINATED, IM SORRY, LET GO PLEASE!!!" gentaro gave up on fighting about keeping their kid healthy just like he gave up on his mukbang channel.
