Boys Am I Right?

jealously

Bill and I eat breakfast quickly and run to our bikes trying to fall and be late to school. We ride as quickly as we can to the spot the Losers meet before we all ride to school. Bill and I finally get there and see that everyone was waiting for us even Richie.
"Sorry we're late Bill and I woke up late and quickly got ready" I say explaining for us everyone quickly looks confused
"Did you two have a sleepover at Bill's house?" Mike asks making Bill and nod
"On a school night?" Eddie asks making us nod again
"My mom and dad went to a dinner party and they know I don't like to be alone in the house so they asked Bill's parents if I can stay and they said yes so it happened" I say explaining  more. Everyone nods but Stan looked super jealous about the whole thing.
"Are you wearing his clothes too?" Richie asks
"I-I gave i-it to her" Bill says making me smile and nod
"That's cute" Bev said and I giggle
"Can we just get to school before we're late" Stan says in an annoyed tone as he starts to ride off in the direction of our school. we all get back on our bikes and start to ride off following right behind Stan.
We finally get to school and on time we quickly part ways Ben following me since we both have English together and go to our classes knowing we're gonna see each other in a few of them.
Ben in English
Mike and Stan in math
Bill and Eddie in history
All of them for study hall
All of them again for lunch
Richie for biology
Bill for [language you want to learn]
Then Bev, Stan and Richie for theater.
The day ends and we all meet at the tree near the street. Stan barely talked and looked super upset anytime I would talk or even look at Bill. I was super confused because Stan is acting like we're dating and I can't talk to the guy that's been like a brother to me for so long. If this is how he's gonna act when we do ever date then i'm not sure that he's they guy I want even though i've wanted him for so long. Richie , Bev and I bike to her house to do some homework since I know Eddie's mom would get upset when I distract him from his homework, the same thing with Mike and Ben, Richie and I wouldn't get any work done if it was just him and I,I was just with Bill I love him yes but I need space and I kinda don't wanna don't wanna do homework with Stan because I feel like he's mad at me for going with Bill instead of him. Bev and Richie we're the only people who could really distract me from this guilty feeling.
We finished our homework. Finally.
"I feel like my braincells are fried" Richie says making Bev and I look at him
"What briancells?" Bev and I say at the same time making us high five and laugh
"I feel very attacked and I don't like it" Richie says  making Bev and I laugh more
"Ok let's change the topic. Was I the only one who noticed how upset Stan was today?" Bev says making Richie and I shake our heads.
"It was odd he was fine until Bill and [name] showed up together like we get it Stan the Man you have a huge crush on her but let the girl do what she wants" Richie says making me nod in agreement.
"I feel like Stan and I should date already that way he doesn't have to worry about every guy I talk to but really the guy who is like  a brother to me Stan really you got jealous over him" I say a bit upset.
Bev nods "you should go confess to him before he trys to fight Bill or something like Richie did that one time all over the Nebolt house" Bev says making me nod and Richie say hey in defense. I say bye to both of them and walk out trying to prepare something to say but I couldn't find anything to say. I ride over to Stan's house as fast as I can without braking my arm again.

I finally get to Stan's house and knock on the door super nervous as soon as he opens the door I forget everything that I was gonna say. He looked super surprised that I was here
"Can we talk out here where it's more private " I say making him nod
We go to sit in the grass and I look at him.
"Stan what's wrong? Ever since I got back and have been talking and having fun with the other Losers you look really pissed off. Why is that?" He sighs and looks at me with sad eyes
"[Name] I don't know if you know this but I really really like you. Like a lot to the point where your the only thing on my mind. I just get upset and jealous when I see you with other guys or other Losers because I just want you all to myself and I know how selfish it sounds but it's true. I just want you to be my girlfriend so much. I know I get really jealous and i'll work on it I just need to know that your mine at the end of the day and not Bill's" Stan finishes with tears in his eyes.
"Stanley Uris it was always you that I wanted. Not Will. Not Wheeler. Not Bill. You Stan you" I gently kiss him to reassure him in my choice of words that way he didn't think I was saying this stuff just to get him to shut up but in the deep part of the back of my brain I was just saying this to get him to shut up. 

Do I really want a jealous and possessive person as my boyfriend?
It didn't end that well when Will got like this
Whose to say Stan won't get like that
You know what a couple of weeks or mounts won't hurt me right? 

I pull away from Stan with a small smile on and realization hits both of us.
I said not Wheeler
"Wait did you also have something going on Wheeler too?" Stan asks and I quickly shake my head scared that he was gonna try to do something to him the next time he comes over or I go over there with Stan.
"Are you sure because you included him in all the guys I was worrying about"
"Yes i'm sure nothing happened between me and Wheeler at all you know what just shut up and kiss me again" I say quickly kissing him just to shut him up once more.

Holy shit that was really close
I don't want anything bad to happen to Wheeler
I like that boy 
He makes me smile a lot
I should call him soon to see how everything is going back at Hawkins

I pull away but this time Stan looked nervous.
"[Name] will you be my girlfriend?"

Shit I don't even know if I like Stan anymore but if I say no he might try to fight Bill or go all the way to Hawkins and try to do something to Wheeler
Saying yes will keep all the guys I love safe and out of whatever Stan is cable of doing 

"Yes, yes I will" I say somewhat unsure but Stan didn't pick up on it. He just hugs me tightly and we stay like that for a little but until I pull away from the hug.
"Stan I got to go home before dinner starts bye" I kiss him on the cheek and get on my bike and rush off before he could say anything.

What did I just get myself into?
I'm I even going to be happy in this relationship or am I just doing it to keep all the people I love safe?
It's for sure to keep them safe but what about my own happiness and my safety?
What's gonna happen when I try to brake up with him when I get really unhappy with things?

I finally get home with a hour to spare before dinner and I take out my clothes from my backpack and put them in my dirty clothes hamper. I should call Wheeler to see how everything is. My phone starts to ring making me jump I pick it up and smile hearing the voice on the other end of the line.
"Hey [name] sorry I couldn't call for a while it's just-"
"Wheeler it's fine I just want to hear everything you have to tell me. I've missed your voice soooo much" I say starting to cry a little
"I've missed you too lovely please don't cry"