Let's Dance the Night away | Dahmo

HAPPY HAPPY

WARNING: There is one curse word :)

None of this was fair. None of it.

It wasn't fair that I had to work so long that day. 

It wasn't fair that I had gone to sleep without a care in the world.

It wasn't fair that Dahyun was gone.

It wasn't fair that Momo had to deal with it alone.

None of it was fair.

I awoke the morning after Dahyun's dance. The one that she couldn't attend. I turned my head to the side, feeling the excitement build up. That bubbly feeling I always found in my stomach on the weekends. 

The weekends were the days when I didn't have classes or work. I was completely free. 

Dahyun's face popped into my mind and my heart squeezed in joy as I sat up, stretched and rubbed the sleep from my eyes. I could see her today. I thought to myself. I would have to buy her some flowers or some more goodies to apologise for not being there for her yesterday.

I turned to my bedside to grab my phone and check the time.

I had one missed call from the hospital. Dread flooded my body. 

I opened the phone to check for voicemail. I didn't need to listen to it.

This isn't fair.

Before I let the grief overtake me, I called Momo's number.  I forced all my concentration to focus on her. Was she alright? Did she get a call too? 

The phone rang five times before she picked up. I heard shuffling as if somebody was readjusting their position before Momo's voice was heard on the other end.

"What." She said. Her voice almost broke my composure. It was flat. There was no emotion.

"Momoring, are you alright?" I asked, forcing my voice to remain steady and calm. I breathed though my nose and continued to push the impending thoughts of Dahyun to the back of my mind. Momo is here. Momo is the one I'm talking to right now. That's all I needed to know.

I heard her shuffle again. She sighed, long and deep.

"I'm ok. It's you that I should be asking." 

I didn't know what else to say, and the reality of the situation suddenly came upon me.

"Sana?" 

My ears were ringing and my vision was blurry.

"Sana, are you still there?"

"Yes." I said quickly before rushing to my closet to find some clothes to change into. "Momo, we're going out to meet Dahyun's family ok?" 

Momo didn't answer. My hands were shaking and when I tried to pick up a pair of pants with my free hand, I dropped them. I cursed to myself. I've always been such a klutz.

"I'm coming over to pick you up." I said. Then I hung up.

I spent that morning rushing around like a mad man doing anything to lead my mind astray. I got dressed and bushed my teeth and brushed my hair and did my makeup and brushed my teeth again and washed my hands and washed my hands and washed and washed before I found my way over to the door.

I wish I had never gone to see Momo. 

I came to the door and saw a notice on it. Momo hadn't payed her rent for what seemed like six weeks. A lump formed in my throat when I knocked.

"It's open." A voice called from the inside.

I wish it wasn't open.

Her apartment was filled with rubbish. What seemed like hundreds of ramen noodle cups were littered on every surface. There wasn't a sign of furniture besides a chair that lay on its side, dejected near a wall. That wall had a dent the size of a person in it. Someone must have thrown it. The blinds were shut and the heater was off, leaving the room in a wintery state of cold. Walking into the apartment was like walking into a fridge. And in the centre of it all lay a girl. Her clothes were dirty. Her hair was unwashed. She was so frail and thin. She lay on her back and stared at the ceiling with tears glistening in her eyes. 

In the background a song was playing. It infuriated me because it sounded so happy.

"Momo, what the fuck." My tears came then. Not because my girlfriend had died, but because my best friend was killing herself.

Momo laughed slightly and lifted a hand that seemed to be made from skin and bone to wipe away her tears.

"Sorry you had to find out about me this way." She mumbled before sitting up from her place amongst the rubbish. "I'm going to get kicked out of here." She said. "I have no money."

I could only stare at her with my mouth wide open, the tears flowing freely.

Then she started to sing.

"Always, whether good time or bad time, We'll share it till midnight, With the same feelings, up and down down, Whether it's joy or sadness, We'll share it..."

Her voice was so soft and gentle and full of sadness, but the song was happy. The song was loud and fast and happy and it wasn't fair.

"I feel happy happy happy, I have faith. No matter how many years in the future, No matter how many decades in the future, I wanna be with you."

"Stop it." I told her. But she didn't stop. She looked up at me and continued to sing.

"I feel happy happy happy, I'm able to do anything. No matter what the obstacle, I'll be able to overcome, That's why I wanna be with you."

This wasn't fair.

None of it.

~TWICE -  HAPPY HAPPY~

A/N: Hello. This is kinda dumb and kinda incomplete and not edited kinda a waste of space, but something happened today that inspired me to write.

Someone in my school has cancer. I don't know them, but apparently today they had to get rushed into hospital for an operation.

They're only 15.

It isn't fair that someone should be prepared to die so young.

It isn't fair that her family have to watch it happen.

It isn't fair that I get to sit here, totally unaffected and totally fine.

But I guess life isn't fair, and I can't do anything about it.

Don't you think that the chord progression of HAPPY HAPPY is just a little bit... sad?