Secret Admirer

Fenty Beauty

I'm a huge fan of J.cole. Not just his music but him as a person. I went to one of his concerts back in 2017 and I watched him in aw for the whole hour and forty five minutes he was on stage. I highly suggest y'all take a listen to some of the songs I include in this story.

My eyes moved along with each and every car that passed by. I pushed my earbuds further into my ears in hopes of increasing the volume since I could still slightly hear everyone talking amongst me.

I closed my eyes as I began to hum the song I've probably replayed over a handful of times today.

I lowly sung along to the song as if I was a background vocalist not wanting to out shine the main act. I began to tap my foot against the pavement as I started to envision myself standing on a stage in front of thousands of people singing my heart away.

I started to sway my head side to side along with the beat that flowed smoothly throughout my ears making sure I caught ever beat.

This was my passion, music. It flowed through me, my father use to play the trombone for a group that was discovered way before I was thought of and my mother was a singer. Not just any singer but a gospel singer, the highlight of my week would be watching her bring everyone to their feet clapping dancing and rejoicing to the sound of her voice.

I would watch her from my seat with nothing but pure admiration upon my face. I loved watching her do what she loved and that was helping bring people out of whatever they were going through. I one day wanted to be like her uplift the people around me even it wasn't with singing gospel music.

I reopened my eyes with a small smile upon my lips due to the memories of my mother. She was the sweetest woman, she left this world doing what she loved doing most and that was singing.

I looked around at everyone standing around doing their own thing while removing my headphones out of my ears, I took in a deep breath as I stood up attempting a cat like stretch. I felt like I had been sitting there forever and a day.

I also felt like I lost a hour or two of sleep as each day went by, I felt the sleepiness creep upon me as I stood in the 98 degree heat causing me to rub the side of my finger across my eye just to feel a clump of my concealer upon my finger. I slightly closed my eyes as I remembered last night events causing me to flinch when I felt someone hand lightly brush against my shoulder " Don't you think that Fenty cost a little too much for you to be using it as a black eye eraser? " my best friend spoke causing me to open my eyes " when are you going to get tired of that shit Mani? "

" He loves me Sabrina. "

" No correction he loves beating your ass. " she spoke while taking a seat on the bench beside me. Sabrina was that kind of friend who didn't bite her tongue for anyone, she had always been the feisty one out of the two of us. We had been friends ever since we were nine and she accused me of stealing her bike when in all actuality one of the neighborhood boys took it and sprayed painted it a different color.

She always had my back and I tried my best to have hers, but we were built differently. See I was the quite church girl, while she was the out going I ain't taking shit from no one type of person. The saying opposite attracts was true all the way down to my abusive relationship.

Who would've ever thought That the church girl who didn't even learn about sex until she was eighteen, would be in a relationship with someone who didn't even like being looked at in a certain way because he took it as a form of disrespect.

Jason and I met two mouths before my mother passed, he helped me through the toughest time of my life. I even started to believe that God placed him there, but boy was I wrong. The first lick came out of nowhere almost as if it was an accident, the second time was more then a Love lick it was more like a blow that would leave me with a black eye. The third time was when his mask finally fell and he wasn't the person I knew once before. I watched him hold his bottom lip between his teeth as he used all his strength to deliver blows to my lower body not even caring about the tears that fell down my face.

I wanted to escape but I just didn't know how, I knew my mother was looking down at me with nothing but disappointment upon her face, I wouldn't dare bring my many bruises to my fathers attention.

I broke free of the thoughts I was having and brought my attention back upon Sabrina who was siting with a smile on her face as she held the letter I retrieved from my mailbox this morning " Whoever this is haves a way with words. " she spoke as she continued to read " You still haven't found out who this is? " she questioned as she looked from the letter to me " Because it seems like he knows you very well. " she was right, he knew me to well but I didn't know him well enough the secret love letters started three months ago. At first I thought it was just a joke but then I started to realized whomever it was, was being pretty serious.

" I have a secret admirer " I lowly spoke causing Sabrina to nod her head in agreement " He just doesn't know his encouraging words have helped me through so many cold lonely nights " I spoke out loud before looking around as if Jason was going to pop out of nowhere and ask me to repeat myself to make sure he heard me correctly. That man has put so much fear in me I couldn't even eat without calling him to see if it's was okay.

I had to get away from him, just maybe my secret admirer would come to my rescue.

I know I said I wouldn't continue this story but I got bored and my imagination got to working so here you go.