IN MY HEAD, tyrus

𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘧𝘪𝘷𝘦.

I HADN'T REALIZED I HAD STARTED SOBBING UNTIL MY KNEES BUCKLED AND I FELL TO THE KITCHEN FLOOR. Buffy rushed over, wrapping her arms around my shoulders and pulling me close.

"You still look like a movie." The song continued on as I cried, breathing heavily. I went limp in Buffy's arms, I'm numb.

"You still sound like a song." I can't breathe, Tj's my oxygen and I can't breathe. Buffy started to rub my back as I cried.

It didn't help.

"My God, this reminds me."

"Cyrus please, calm down. You're scaring me." She spoke quickly, grabbing my shoulders.

"Of when we were young." That's when Buffy pulled the cord out of the speaker and it clinked loudly on the ground beside us. I started to breath normally, reality setting in. Buffy helped me stand as I wiped my eyes.

I felt so broken and destroyed and pathetic.

Was Tj the only thing holding me together?

"Cyrus can we please talk about this?" Buffy finally asked, looking at me with concern and sympathy all in one.

I hate that.

I opened my mouth to reply just as my phone started to buzz violently. I quickly grabbed it, picking up without hesitation.

"Hey, Reed, what's up?" I asked quickly, forcing a smile. There were some mumblings and variations of words.

"Yeah. Yeah, yeah, nope. No worries it's totally cool." I replied at various times. What I was hearing was not good. I said bye and hanged up the phone, sitting on the chair by table across from where Buffy was now sitting.

"Fuck fuck fuck." I shouted angrily and her eyebrows shot up with confusion.

"What?" She asked calmly as I aggressively punched the air.

"The list for Neon Classic is tapped out." I stated, shrugging sarcastically. Buffy sighed and spoke up again,

"Well look dude it's fine, it's okay. We could just sit here and chill and drink and drink and chill."

"What? No no. We're going. We're going to the show okay? I leave in a week. And then I turn 30 and then I die and then... I can't stop moving or else I think about... um." I clicked my tongue as I paused. I couldn't say his name.

"I can't leave New York City like this." I finally finished, crossing my arms. Buffy looked at me for a moment and sighed.

"This is the end of an era, Buff. You, me and Andi, we've all been caught up in our own shit and I need one last epic day with my girls, one last day being the good hair crew. We owe it to the city." I continued and nodded at my last statement.

"Yes, queen. Damn you're trying to make me feel feelings like a mother fucking Pixar movie. I'm not gonna cry!" Buffy dramatically fanned her eyes as she spoke and I laughed loudly.

"Okay okay! I am going to go get dressed and you are going to email everybody you know that could get us on that list." I decided and stood up with a grin.

"Alright... uh Cyrus.. I don't... I don't know nobody." Buffy admitted with an awkward smile. I frowned, tilting my head.

"What?"

"I would email literally you or Andi like I don't know nobody."

"Okay okay well then new plan. We are going to need all hands on deck so we're gonna go down to Andi's office, and we're gonna tell them that her mom died so that she can leave." I explained, confidently nodding.

"Holy crap!" Buffy laughed out, her eyes wide.

"Okay fine... her grandma died." I fixed, wiping off my shirt.

"I'm afraid you don't understand what's messed up about this suggestion." Buffy muttered and I ignored her, thinking about what else we'd need.

"Okay we need to search for more tickets, get more booze today and also we need to get some molly for tonight okay? And then we are going to go to Neon Classic. We're going to go mobile! And I'm going to go get dressed!" I decided and Buffy dramatically stood up with a nod.

This day was going to be perfect.

It has to be.