Happy Hour

Lovely

Song: Lovely by Billie Eilish

Pairing: Ten and Johnny [NCT]

"I'm tired."

Silence. Nothing passed between the two and it made Ten's anxiety grow. He wanted to avoid this conversation, every day for that matter, but Johnny didn't let these types of things go easily. More silence passed until something finally broke the silence.

Shock. That's the only thing Ten could register. Their little bubble had now burst, pieces of it spread across the linoleum. The sound still rang in his ears, he almost didn't register it when Johnny had begun speaking. Couldn't comprehend what he had done.

Glass. Everywhere.

"Well, I'm tired of you being tired!" Johnny huffed in rage, chest rising and falling irregularly. His fists hung tightly coiled by his side, veins protruding along the backs of his hands and spread up his arms. Ten couldn't help but be momentarily sidetracked by his beauty. Their situation couldn't be uglier.

"You think I like being like this? That I asked fo-"

"Then why are we still here! Why am I here putting in all of the efforts if you're clearly not in any state to-" Ten choked. Not now- this couldn't be happening now. It had been steadily building up for a long time, though. He just refused to see it and now- he had to face the truth.

"Sto- stop please just-" He couldn't talk. Couldn't breathe, he couldn't even see through the tears blurring his eyesight. This was his worst nightmare. All of his insecurities, horrible memories from the past, everything he feared most was right in front of him, baring it's sharp, ugly teeth at him.

"You can't keep doing this. Every time I try to bring it up you freak out and we pretend like nothing is wrong but- Ten, come on, you're not okay!" Johnny was in tears too, already at his wit's end. 

Every day, it was the same thing over and over again. Ten was tired. Wanted to stay in, lay around all day, do nothing. Johnny was at the point where he felt hopeless, too. Not knowing how he could help Ten or if there was even anything left for him to do. Aware that he promised for better or worse- he knew that he had to do something, anything, to fix this mess.

Ten was at a loss too. Every day harder than yesterday as he fought at the demons tearing him apart from the inside out. He desperately was looking for a way out but was too much of a coward to seek real help. No matter what, he just didn't want Johnny to abandon him. He had no one else.

"I know, I just- I ju- I know, okay! Please let me speak!" Johnny had tried to interrupt him, only to be silenced immediately. If Ten was going to willingly talk then who was he to stop him? Avoiding the shards of glass on the ground, he made his way to the couch to sit with Ten. 

"I can't help but try to push away anyone that tries to help me. It doesn't- feel real. Like anyone genuinely means it. But I do that and I feel so alone and it's all my fault- I know it is, and I don't know what to do. I feel like it's too late, that I've pushed everyone so far away that I can't even see anyone anymore-"

"I'm still here."

A moment passes until Ten is suddenly in tears again. Johnny tries to shush him, holds him and rocks Ten back and forth to try and calm him back down. Much like the glass on the ground, Ten's heart was shattering all around him. All Johnny wanted to do was help him find the pieces he lost of himself. Putting them back together be damned. He just wanted Ten to find himself again. The person he was before was gone and before he could even start putting it back together, he needed to find those parts again.

"Isn't it just fucking lovely."

Another pause.

"I've always thought you were lovely."

-

Words: 671