Imagination || L.H.

Chapter 15

Eventually, Luke stops calling. 

It breaks my heart to watch it ring and know that I can't pick it up. Keeping him at an arm's length to protect us both hurts more than I imagine cutting it off would. 

I call my mom and tell her that I'm staying at a friend's house indefinitely and not to worry about me, that I'm alright. She reluctantly agrees to let me have my space and I almost have a breakdown over the phone. 

Michael collects clothes from his closet and his mother's that are close enough to my size to work since I'm not planning on leaving the confines of the Cliffords' house.

I don't want to face the damage I've done.

*

I curl up in a fluffy blanket on the floor in front of the couch since it reminds me too much of the night Luke obtained his stitches, falling asleep on the couch side by side, his hand gently holding mine, his blue eyes soft. 

I shake my head to clear the memory away, blinking tears out of my eyes. 

Michael walks back into the living room with a bowl of buttered popcorn, frowning at but not remarking on my interesting position. 

I gratefully reach for a handful of popcorn, swallowing all the pain and sadness welling up inside of me and threatening to spill over the dam I constructed to hold everything back and pretend like I'm okay.

A sharp knock sounds on the door and Michael moves to answer it. 

I shrink down into the blanket, simultaneously hoping that it is and isn't Luke. He hasn't tried to contact me since the day I ran away from him, three days ago. I can't help the fact that almost every single thought that passes through my mind is of him and the kiss we shared. 

I can't say that I don't dream that things were different, that we were together. I wonder what, exactly, he thinks of me now.

I'm helpless to stop the disappointment that washes over me when it's not Luke that walks in. I quickly bury myself deeper into the blanket when I see that it's Calum. 

I am so not in the mood for the "I told you so" speech.

Michael leads him into the living room, flopping back down on the couch. Calum hesitantly takes a seat next to him.

"What are you doing here?" I ask Cal with a balanced amount of anger, bitterness and sadness.

Mikey speaks before he can. "I invited him."

My eyes cut to him sharply. "Why?" 

Underneath the cover of the blanket, I clench my hands into fists, my fingernails digging into my skin to distract me from the sting of betrayal tearing at my heart. I don't need Calum to come and yell at me for messing up. I've done enough beating up on myself for the both of us.

Michael gives up on pretending to be calm. He throws his hands up into the air, raising his voice. 

"Why?" he echoes. "Kat, you haven't left the house in three days! You hardly say anything more than a few words at a time. You never eat and when you do manage to go to sleep, you have nightmares and wake up screaming. Whenever I so much as mention Luke, you shut down." 

I flinch at his name, the familiar burn of tears pricking the backs of my eyes. 

"This is not okay," Michael continues. "I called Calum because he's your best friend. No matter how much you might want to deny it, you need him. You need us. We're your friends. We're here to help."

I swallow audibly, feeling my throat close up. 

I'm taken back to a different time, different people standing before me. Piper tugging her shirt back down and sliding off the bed to let Blake sit up, his hair all messed up from her fingers. 

"This isn't what it looks like, Kat," Blake choked out, stretching a hand out between us. "We're your friends."

"Really?" I managed to get out. "Because the last time I checked, friends don't go behind each other's backs. Last time I checked, they don't get together to CHEAT ON THEIR OTHER FRIEND!" 

The only thing that gave me the strength to walk out of there with any sort of dignity left was anger. When you start to feel everything familiar slipping away, anger is the only thing you have to combat the sadness.

"You can't help me." 

The words are whispered, but I know that they can hear me. 

Glancing back up to meet their eyes, I say with more power, "There's nothing you can do to help me short of time travel." 

Losing the confidence in my tone, I murmur, "I don't even know if I made the right decision. Should I have stayed and seen it through? Or run away like a coward again?"

Calum slides off of the couch to sit beside me, his chocolate brown eyes staring deep into mine. "I can't tell you which decision was the right one, because in life, there's never a clear right or wrong answer. Everything comes with strings attached. You did what you believed was right in the moment and now you have to live with that. If you don't like that choice, then change it. You have to keep moving forward because you can never go back."

I smile tentatively at him, leaning my head on his shoulder in a sign of surrender. "Thanks, Cal."

He wraps an arm around my shoulders. "Anytime, Kat."

A beat of silence passes where I wish that Calum had been the one I was falling for. It would be so easy with him. He already knows what happened to me, what darkness taints my past. We've been friends since day one; it wouldn't be a stretch at all to place my trust in him, to place my heart in his hands. 

Except I always seem to fall for the people that I can't be with. Blake, whose heart truly belonged to my best friend, and now Luke, who hasn't yet figured out how to escape his own dark past. 

And now I've gone and deserted him when he needed somebody the most, after he'd laid himself bare and told me what happened between his girlfriend and his brother.

I sit up straight. 

That's it.

I jump to my feet, shaking myself free of the blanket and dashing for the front door, tugging on my Converse without slowing down.

"Where are you going?" Michael calls, already on his own feet.

I pause in the doorway, my hand resting on the doorknob. "To fix my mistake." 

With that, I slam the door shut behind me, running down the street faster than I've ever run before. I almost mow over a girl playing hopscotch on her driveway in my haste, earning a dirty look from her mother. 

Thankfully, the shorts I have on are mine, otherwise the waistband wouldn't have been able to get enough of a grip and running without losing my pants would have been virtually impossible. Michael's Metallica shirt is far too big for me in the shoulders, but it stays on and that's really all I need.

I round the corner and pour on the speed, not caring about the burning sensation spreading throughout my muscles. I throw open the door to the Hoods' house, grateful that this place is my second home and I don't have to slow down to bother knocking. 

Mali calls out a surprised greeting when I plow past her on the stairs, a small smile curling her lips. 

I come to a halt at the end of the hallway, knocking gently. 

Please, please, please. 

Please open the door. 

Please be here. 

Please forgive me.

The doorknob turns and my heart kicks into overdrive.

"Hi," I breath.