If You Tell Me To Stay

Chapter 13

Author's Note: 

You guys are amazing! I loved all those comments on that last chapter! Some had me just about rolling on the floor laughing. Sorry, I know I'm laughing at your pain. But the fun's not over yet! Get ready for some more angst! (since y'all seemed to like it so much)

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Sanem woke up from another night filled with bad dreams. They seemed to alternate between her old boss at Kimyasal to that man with the blue eyes to Can and Gamze laughing while they sat on his bed. Sometimes they were doing more than laughing.

She jolted awake every time. It was four in the morning before she finally decided to just get up. She made herself a glass of tea and sat on her front porch and waited for the sun to rise. She had her knees curled up to her chest with a blanket wrapped around her. Spring had arrived but the mornings were still quite chilly and she watched the steam rise from her glass. The neighborhood slowly lit up with the rising sun. It was quiet and still. A few birds began chirping to greet the day.

The peace was disturbed by the growing sound of a loud backfiring engine. An old beat up pickup truck came puttering down her street. She heard this sound before last Sunday and knew it was the paper truck. She hadn't yet subscribed to the Gazette, but when the boy standing in the bed of the truck saw her, he tossed her one anyway and smiled.

She gave him a wave as a thank you and set her glass down to get the paper at the bottom of the steps. After retrieving it she went back to her chair. She re-positioned the blanket around her and unfolded the Gazette. She saw the article she had written as the cover story on the front page about the victims. There were two photos to accompany the article. One photo of Belma. She had long blonde hair and in her photo she was wearing a cap and gown after her college graduation. The other was of Atyen, the first girl to go missing. Her photo was the last one ever taken of her. A friend had taken it the morning she left for her camping trip. She held two walking sticks and was wearing a backpack full of supplies, a large brimmed hat and a red scarf with white hearts tied around her neck.

Sanem insisted that they print the photos in color. She thought the black and white looked too melancholy. The situation was already depressing and the article she wrote was supposed to celebrate their lives, not just mourn their end.

She looked at the bright smile on both of their faces and her own situation didn't feel as bad. She hated her self pity.

I have nothing to complain about. I am lucky to be alive.

She saw her name typed above the article to show who had written the piece. It didn't matter that the last name wasn't her real one. She loved the way it looked. She smiled and then saw her name typed again in the corner of the of the first page.

<<Sanem Özdemir: Editor

Remide Uzunatagan: Co-editor>>

She put me down as editor? Even though she hadn't officially given me the job yet? Wow!

Sanem started crying. This time happy tears. I will make her proud. The next Gazette will be even better. She won't regret making me editor. I'll just focus all my attention on that. Not Can and....

She shook her head, not even letting herself think of them. She went back inside to get dressed. She made more tea and went back outside. The house still had a weird vibe, even after being furnished and decorated. She curled up in the same spot and read the whole paper that she had worked so hard on.

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Can dreamed about her all night. This time they were not pleasant dreams like usual. In his nightmares he would be running and looking for something. A growing sense of dread and fear taking over his body the longer it took him to find it. He knew he was looking for her. Just when he found her, she would disappear again. He thought that if he could just hold onto her hand she wouldn't be able to slip away. But every time he found her again, he could only get as far as reaching out for her before she vanished into thin air.